-Yuri Yoshida-
A week has passed since Ryuji took me on that trip to New Tokyo. Kara made me see things differently. It's true, I was content just with leaving my house, but the truth is, only I see that as an achievement. As one might imagine, Ryuji couldn't care less about me leaving my house. Well, actually, I think I miss it a bit and that's why I think so much about her words.
Although to be honest, I'm not very interested in those things either. What could I do on a battlefield?
Time alone answered that question. The short answer is that I'm useless, as one would expect. The long one is that I agreed to train for some reason. Those training sessions were beating after beating. Even so, it's not like I could do anything. I'm not bold enough to just walk into my house and ignore Ryuji and his punishment, which was obviously still in effect.
By the way, I haven't entered the house all week. All these nights I've slept in Ryuji's car. Obviously, and as expected, he sleeps in my bed. I only went in to use the bathroom, and when I did, he would wait behind the door. I only had my phone, and when I used it, you could see the displeasure on his face, so I preferred not to use it.
I couldn't name a clear reason, but despite everything, I don't exactly dislike training either. I'm not sure of the motive, but something inside me thinks it's because I can spend time with Ryuji. You could say it's like a… friend? I'm not sure if I'd call him that either.
According to Ryuji, even though I'm physically weak, my electric magic is at a high level. I assumed it was because I constantly trained it unconsciously by using it to power my PC, the frequent charges to my cell phone, and the times I turned on the stove to heat the cans of tuna my stepfather left for me to eat while he was at the concentrations.
What we practiced most was mobility. One of the main skills as Crusaders I should practice would be having enough reaction speed to dodge bullets. It's a bit scary to think that at some point a bullet could hit me, but according to Ryuji himself, having the ability to use magic inherently increased some physical abilities, but it needed to be honed to be someone "cool," or something like that. I didn't pay much attention.
Specifically, what we practiced most rigorously was materializing myself as electricity. It sounded weird at first, but it's literally that. It's complicated to explain in words, but basically, it's turning into a lightning bolt and moving based on that. As an example, he told me about Oujin, the commander of the second section of the Crusader force. From his words about him, I think he's the strongest.
Well, and the physical practices were more like "physical torture." I practically pushed my body to the limit, and during combat practice, it was just me getting covered in bruises while trying to escape, without much success, of cour-
-[Stop thinking so much! You idiot!]
Of course, right now I was training.
Ryuji would launch himself towards me with great power. My legs, despite trembling like leaves in the wind, were immobile. My fragile body would feel his punch landing strongly on my stomach. The katana would fall from my hands.
I would quickly fall using my electric ability to pick it up, but Ryuji would notice and instinctively kick me, the blow hitting my hands and sending the katana even further away from me. I would then raise my hands in surrender.
-[Time…] My breathing would be very labored. -[Out…]
-[I understand.] He would sit next to me. -[Hey, you need to be less predictable.]
-[Sorry.]
-[*sigh* 5 minutes and you're back on your feet. My desire to fight your mediocre battles hasn't gone away.]
-[How can I get better?]
-[Yuri…] He would slap his own face. -[It's as simple as doing things you don't even expect yourself! You're too rigid to fight!]
-[But… I don't understand…] I would sink into my legs.
-[If I hit you right now, how would you dodge it?]
-[I… would move backwards.]
-[That's exactly what I thought! Idiot!] He would stand up and continue from above. -[Get up, your break is over!]
-[Bu-but.]
-[I said get up!] He would say it with a creepy smile.
I would obviously get up. That face was horrifying.
-[Three-two-one Go!] He would jump towards me, like a hungry lion hunting its prey.
I dodged him without much trouble and ran for the katana that had fallen behind me in the previous encounter. I quickly grabbed it.
-[It was… five minutes.] With my head down, I complained about his negligen-
-[React!] He roared, jumping towards me.
In that small moment, no more than 1 second, I started thinking. What wouldn't I do?
A coward like me would never jump towards him. It was scary, very scary. But if I didn't act, he would finish me.
-[MOVE!]
That's when I made the decision. Quickly, I jumped with the katana in both hands. I held it with a confidence I had never had in my entire life. Despite that, my head was filled with doubts. But only one kept appearing.
Even without knowing what to do, I knew I had to do something. In that second, I summoned the courage I had kept stored for a year. The doubts dissipated. I would move through Ryuji using my ability to materialize my body as electricity, and with the courage I had left, I would give it my all.
-[AHHHHHH!] Along with that shout, a blow from my katana came out with the momentum of the spin, the strongest I could, so strong that my weapon broke in two upon impact.
With a surprised face, the handle of the katana, which I still held in my right hand, slipped. As I fell, Ryuji would stay still for a while, giving me his back. Was he angry?
Suddenly I felt a blow that shook my face, a blow so powerful that I was sent flying several meters from where I was standing before.
I would lose consciousness for a few seconds. When I came to, he was already in front of me, standing with a classic hero pose, hands on his hips.
-[You did it, well done Yuri.] My shoulder felt a light pat and my eyes focused on his sarcastic smile. -[Keep it up.]
-[Why did you hit me after I won…?]
-[You won?] He would strike a pose that made me doubt, touching his chin and tilting his head a little. -[You just hit me once. The fight wasn't over yet.]
Well, all things considered, I guess he was right. It's not like a blow like that would kill someone. Kill?
I hadn't thought about it. It's very likely that in front of me is a murderer. I don't know if I should ask him. It kind of scares me to think about it. I mean, I can't imagine what it would be like to take someone's life.
If I had been murdered a year ago, what would have happened to those guys?
I shouldn't think about things lik-
-[Hey, get up, we have to have lunch. Let's go, Yuri!]
-[Uh… okay.]
It was time for lunch, but I don't have much of an appetite after thinking those things.
I can't look at Ryuji the same way now. Nor Kara. Not even my stepfather.
I guess I always knew, but it's normal to deny things, especially if that "thing" is that for fifteen years of my life I was raised by a soldier who has ended countless lives, and now I'm forced to interact with two others.
Ryuji would cook meat with rice again, rice that tasted like ashes. In previous days, I deigned to talk to him sometimes, but today no words came out. I wasn't even able to look at his hands.
After that came the break. Ryuji was talking to me about things during those two hours, but everything he said went in one ear and out the other. I just pretended to understand to prevent some scolding or something similar.
In the afternoon, we practiced control over my electricity. Shooting small lightning bolts at targets. It's difficult, but it's more difficult with Ryuji watching. If I ran, could I escape from him?
-[Hey, Yuri, are you okay?]
-[Y-yes.] His question was like an impact to me. I didn't know how to react at that moment. Why does it have to be like this? As if all the progress I had made had gone down the drain.
-[Well, I'll keep explaining how the selection tests will be. The first test is easy, at least for you. You have to dodge ten shots in five seconds. In fact, the one shooting will be Kara. I've already met some of the kids. Some are quite surprising, especially a boy Kara's age. I think it was… Kaito? I think that boy is a talen-]
It would continue like this until the magic training, at 4:00 P.M.
The sun at its maximum power beat down on my pale skin. The work was more complicated than usual. I had to shoot lightning bolts at different moving targets, soda cans. I wasn't able to hit any. Ryuji had an expression of annoyance while tossing cans into the air nonstop.
We had gone through about 20 cans when they stopped falling.
-[You're not even trying, are you?]
Without saying anything and looking motionlessly at the floor, my response was to look down. I made my decision a few hours ago. I'm not going to interact with him.
-[Hey, the tests are in two weeks. You have to be serious because you still have a long way to go.] With all the calm in the world, he approached me, slowly. -[If you don't pass, my name will be tarnished. Just kidding, I don't care about that. Come on, tell me what's wrong, Yuri. The previous days you cooperated, and suddenly you're back to being, well, a weirdo.]
-[It's nothing.] Still without raising my head, I would respond, clenching my fists.
-[Do you want to eat?]
-[Okay.]
I would enter the house. Ryuji would take a Tupperware from the fridge with the same food as all the previous days, including today's lunch.
-[Yuri, plug in the microwave.]
I approached slowly and obeyed without another word.
I would put two Tupperwares of rice with meat inside and go sit down.
-[Then come and turn on the TV.]
I nodded while the food spun in the microwave. It gave me some peace to watch it, but my worry wouldn't go away anyway.
When the food was ready, I walked like a turtle towards the table, put the Tupperwares on the table, and at the same speed turned on the TV.
-[Put on the news. In theory, they'll talk about the tests today.]
Right, Ryuji said it a few days ago. The tests are broadcast nationally. There are even bets. Generally, people who can use magic don't usually say so, because the army pursues them their whole lives, like a kind of "The Truman Show," but with the military insisting that their strength will be necessary for the country. He also told me that's an excuse to control magic users so they don't use their powers for crimes.
I would put on the news, and the table remained silent.
"...the situation with this year's tests is quite complex, in the sense that there are several mages who have surprised the public. Generally, there are one or two kids who go all out, but this year the number has increased to three kids who are in the sights of the viewers and the commanders of our army. Among them, the boy we've already talked about, Kaito Kuga, who is known for having control of three elements at his young age of 18. Many see the future military power of the country in his hands…"
-[Tell me what's wrong.] His voice came out calmly while he didn't take his eyes off the television.
-[I already told you, nothing.]
That intervention started a silence that lasted about two hours.
When the sun began to hide, Ryuji stood up from the table.
-[Follow me, Yuri.]
I obeyed without a word. He left the house and continued his path to the hill next to the road where my home is. I followed from behind, just looking at his feet.
The hill wasn't that big, but the path felt eternal. There weren't many interesting things, and Ryuji, for some reason, didn't speak at all. I wanted him to talk, for the first time.
When we reached the top, he stopped abruptly and, with a great breath, sat down on the ground. It didn't look very comfortable, but my legs were burning, so I imitated him.
-[Do you see it?] While his gaze was fixed on the sunset.
-[See what?]
-[The sunset. It's beautiful.]
I would raise my gaze. The orange would enter me, with its almost brotherly warmth.
-[A little.]
The sun began to hide. The orange slowly darkened until it reached a blue, somewhat cold. When the sun was completely gone, Ryuji stood up.
-[Well, let's go back.] He would turn around and start walking.
-[Ryuji…] I said instinctively.
-[Tell me.] He would stop and look back.
-[Have you… have you… have you killed?]
Silence returned, but despite the night, it was a warm silence, not very uncomfortable.
Ryuji would retrace his steps and sit down again, next to me. I felt as if the person next to me wasn't him.
-[Yes, Yuri. That is one of the things we are forced to do.]
Ryuji would take my shoulder, squeezing a little, as if besides comforting me, he was holding something back. So, with doubts, I would raise my gaze. For some reason, it wasn't hard this time.
His expression was just as I imagined. He looked vulnerable and even a bit sad, an expression that really surprised me coming from his face.
-[You never get used to it, Yuri.]
-[I-I don't want to kill anyone.] The fear returned in me. I hugged my legs and buried my head. I expected a "that will be impossible," "don't be idealistic."
A slight sigh came from Ryuji.
-[Seeing the face of the one whose life you took is very scary.] He said with a smile, as if trying to calm my fear again.
Instinctively, I would raise my gaze.
-[Do you know how many you've killed?]
He would look up at the dark sky showing the stars, and his pained eyes answered my question.
-[No...]
We stayed a moment longer, sitting, without saying a single word. The stars twinkled, taking our attention.
-[Well, Yuri.] Getting up with great energy. -[Let's go back!]
On the way back, despite everything, Ryuji looked like, well, Ryuji, his walk full of confidence.
-[Tomorrow I'll destroy you in training!] He would turn with his typical chaotic smile. [Keep that in mind!]
-[Yes!] That energetic 'yes' really came from me. It seems he has a highly contagious energy virus.
Going down the hill, we said goodbye. He would go inside the house, and I to his car.
I lay down in the back seat. The texture of the ceiling reminded me of the stars.
Ryuji is not a bad person.