Sophia's Point of View
Red roses. Her favorite.
The phrases resonate in my mind while I return to my desk. My legs act on their own, yet internally I'm crumbling
Nicholas wants me to buy roses for another woman. The woman who gets his secret messages. The woman who calls him baby.
I sat down to work on my computer and looked at the screen. My fingers near the keyboard, yet I couldn't move them. How can I change a hotel room for the man I care about to see another woman with him? What can I do to assist him in breaking my heart?
But if I insist , he'll know there's probably somewhere. He'll ask questions. He might figure out that I saw Alexandra's phone.
So I type. The Ritz-Carlton website loads slowly, like even the computer doesn't want me to do this terrible thing. I click through the room options. Presidential Suite. Tonight. Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
As I click , each of the clicks feels like a betrayal to me.
An email confirmation drops in my email inbox. Room booked. Champagne included. I'll have to call the florist about the roses later.
"All done," I called to Nicholas through his open door.
"Perfect. Thank you, Sophia."
That word again. Perfect. I wonder if he calls Alexandra perfect too.
The remainder of the morning creeps along like an unpleasant nightmare. I respond to calls and compose emails while acting like everything is fine. Yet within, my universe is disintegrating bit by bit.
During lunch, Nicholas exits his office while putting on his coat.
"I'm stepping out for a bit," he says to me. "Delete my meeting scheduled for two o'clock."
Move it to tomorrow."
"Should I reschedule lunch with Mr. Peterson too?" I ask.
"No, that is still happening." He looks at his watch. "I'll return by one."
He just left through the main elevator. Five minutes later, Alexandra stood up from her desk.
"I'm leaving for my lunch break," she said . She takes her pricey handbag and moves toward the same elevator.
They are gathering for lunch.
Right now. While I sit here booking hotel rooms for their secret night together.
Something within me breaks.
I wasn't comfortable sitting here any longer. I can't pretend as if I don't know what's going on anymore.
I have to witness it myself. I need to know the duration of this situation.
"Maya, could you take care of my phone?" I inquire. "I 'm going out for a while.
Maya raises her face from her laptop. Certainly. "Is everything alright?"
"I simply require some fresh air."
I take my coat and handbag. The elevator appears to take an eternity to get here. Once it eventually does, I hit the button for the parking structure.
My vehicle is a compact blue Honda. No extravagant cars like Nicholas's black Mercedes or Alexandra's white BMW. However, it begins, and that's precisely what I require at this moment.
I lack a strategy. I simply head to the upscale area of the city where Nicholas prefers to have lunch
The part with expensive restaurants and valet parking.
Three blocks away from our office building, I see his Mercedes parked in front of Bellmont's. It's the sort of place where a single lunch exceeds my weekly food expenses
The kind of place Nicholas takes important clients.
The kind of place he would take a woman he's having an affair with.
I park on the other side of the road behind a delivery vehicle. My hands are trembling once more, but this time it's not only due to sorrow. It's also from anger.
I can see the large front windows of the restaurant through my windshield. The tables indoors are draped with white fabric and elegant flowers. Individuals in costly attire consume gourmet meals and laugh as if worries don't exist.
I scan the tables near the windows. There, in one corner , I saw them.
Nicholas and Alexandra sat beside each other. She's putting on a red dress that is more expensive than my house rent. Her fair hair catches the light from the shining chandelier up their table.
Nicholas moved closer to her , talking to her with that same great look he gets when we do have our dinners alone. His hands were moving around Alexander's body as he talked, like they always do when he's really into something.
Alexandra's laughing about what he was saying, throwing her head back. Even from here, I can see her smile, she looks amazing. She's just right for Nicholas. I am feeling my chest hurting, as if my heart is being tampered. A waiter serves them wine; the luxurious variety in those fragile glasses.
Nicholas lifts his glass to Alexandra, a toast. She mirrors him, and their glasses chime.
What are they toasting? Their secret affair? Their hotel room tonight? The fact that I'm sitting in my cheap car watching them while I booked their romantic evening?
Nicholas extends his arm over the table and grasps Alexandra's hand. Just as he grasped my hand last night while we were having Chinese food
The same gentle touch that made me feel special.
But I'm not special. I never was.
They hold hands and talk. Sometimes Alexandra laughs. Sometimes Nicholas smiles that smile I thought was just for me. They look comfortable together. Natural. Like they've been doing this for a long time.
How long? How many lunch dates have they had while I sat at my desk thinking I was the only woman in Nicholas's life? How many secret messages? How many lies?
I want to walk into that restaurant and face them both. I feel like shouting and weeping and seeking explanations. However, I'm unable to move. I can only remain here and witness my heart shatter in real time.
The server delivers their meal. They dine, chat, and giggle. An ideal pair enjoying a flawless lunch outing. Alexandra says something that causes Nicholas to laugh so much he nearly spills his wine.
I have never caused him to laugh in that way. Our talks always center on work, his issues, or his aspirations. We discuss important matters in soft tones. We don't share laughter and humor as if we're truly delighted to be together.
Maybe that's the difference. Maybe Alexandra makes him happy in ways I never could.
They finish eating. Nicholas signals for the check. This is it. They are about to leave. A piece of me wants to start my car and drive away before they see me
However, I am unable to. I must find out how this concludes.
Nicholas settles the payment as Alexandra applies some lipstick in a compact mirror. Even partaking in something simple like that, she seems elegant and sophisticated. She belongs perfectly in this world of high-end restaurants and shining chandeliers.
They get up to go. Nicholas assists Alexandra with her coat, his hands resting on her shoulders. She shifts to confront him, and they are standing quite near each other
Too close for just coworkers. Too close for just friends.
And then it happens. The element that shatters any remaining hope I had.
Nicholas bends down and kisses her. Right there in the diner, in front of all. Not a brief kiss on the cheek as you could with a buddy. An authentic kiss. Extended and gentle and brimming with emotion.
Alexandra holds his neck under her arms. She kisses him in a way that reveals her real love.
As she adores him.
I produce a noise that is part sob, part gasp. I quickly use my hands to cover my mouth, but it's already too late. The audio is not working. The reality is revealed.
Nicholas is kissing Alexandra Sterling just like he kissed me in the parking garage half a year ago. Just as he kissed me in the elevator yesterday evening.
I'm not unique
I never was. I'm just one of his women. Maybe there are more. Maybe Maya gets secret messages too. Maybe every woman in our office is sleeping with Nicholas Blackwood while thinking she's the only one.
They break apart and smile at each other. Happy. Content. In love.
In love.
That's what I'm seeing. Not just an affair. Not just a fling. They're in love. The way Nicholas looks at Alexandra isn't the way someone looks at a secret on the side. It's the way someone looks at the person who matters most.
She matters most. Not me.
They walk toward the restaurant's exit, still standing close together. In just a few moments, they'll step outside. They may notice me parked in my vehicle, observing them as if I were a stalker
I need to leave. Now.
I start my vehicle with trembling hands. The engine produces a deep sound that resembles wailing. I shifted into drive and left the curb as the restaurant door swung open.
In my rearview mirror, I see them exit together. Nicholas's hand is placed on Alexandra's back, guiding her toward the valet section where their high-end cars are situated.
I come back to the office with tears streaming down my face. Upon arriving at the parking garage, I'm sobbing so deeply that I can barely see.
I remain in my car for ten minutes, attempting to compose myself. I can't head upstairs dressed like this. I can't allow Maya or anyone else to witness me breaking down
In the end, I utilized my phone's camera to inspect my face. My cosmetics are messed up. My eyes are inflamed and puffy. I appear to be precisely what I am: a woman whose universe has just collapsed.
I adjust my makeup as well as possible and head back upstairs. Maya glances up as I come back to my desk.
"Are you feeling better?" she inquires
"Much better," I lied.
Nicholas comes back after twenty minutes. He's softly humming, appearing more cheerful than I've noticed him in weeks. The kiss from Alexandra has lifted his spirits greatly.
"What did you think of lunch?" I inquire, as that's what an excellent assistant would undertake.
"Great," he states
"Very productive."
Productive. Is that what he calls kissing another woman?
"Any messages while I was out?" he asks.
Right now, all that's on my mind is how those lips were pressed against Alexandra's just an hour back.
"Ah, prior to my lapse," he remarks nonchalantly. "Have you handled that unique project we talked about?"
The room at the hotel. He wants to confirm that I arranged his romantic night with the woman I just saw him kiss.
"Indeed, everything is set," I reply.
"Including the... extras you requested."
"Perfect. You really are amazing, Sophia."
Amazing. I'm amazing for helping him cheat on me. For buying roses for his real girlfriend while pretending to be his girlfriend myself.
He enters his office and shuts the door. I observe him through the glass as he takes his phone and sends a text message. Most likely informing Alexandra about his enthusiasm for this evening. How he is eagerly looking forward to seeing her at the hotel I reserved for them.
I return to my computer and attempt to concentrate. All I can focus on is that kiss. The manner in which they gazed at one another
The way Nicholas touched her like she was precious.
The manner in which he has never laid a hand on me.
A text message makes my phone vibrate. For a wild moment, I consider that it could be Nicholas sharing something nice with me
Something that proves I still matter to him somehow.
But it's not from Nicholas. It's from my phone company, confirming my monthly bill payment.
I stare at the screen and laugh. A bitter, broken sound that has nothing to do with humor. Even my phone company cares more about me than Nicholas does.
That's when I notice something else. Another notification I missed earlier. Another sync from Nicholas's phone to my computer.
A new text message. Sent twenty minutes ago. Right after he got back from lunch.
It's to Al
exandra.
And it states: "This evening will be flawless." I've had you on my mind all day long. Sophia managed everything exactly as I expected her to. She is unaware of the true situation.
See you at eight."