I woke up with a headache that felt like divine punishment. The inn smelled of mold, and the 20-coin debt to Torin weighed heavier than the hard bed I slept on. Liriel was snoring in the bed next to me, the magical wine glass still in her hand, as if it were part of her body. After the fiasco at the hot springs, our reputation as "perverts" had spread throughout Vaelor, and all I wanted was money to pay off the debt and maybe a chance to talk to someone without being labeled as the guy with the see-through clothes. I dreamed of a normal love life, but with Liriel, Elara, and Vespera around, that seemed as distant as defeating the Demon King.
"Get up, useless goddess," I said, poking Liriel. She mumbled something about "ungrateful mortals" and almost dropped the glass. Elara and Vespera appeared in the doorway, arguing over who caused more damage in the last mission.
"It was you and your crooked arrows," said Elara.
Vespera laughed. "At least I had fun getting hit."
I rolled my eyes and headed to the guild.
The quest board was crowded, but one mission caught my eye: "Assist in Torin's tavern during the drinking contest. Reward: 60 silver coins." Perfect. Serve drinks, avoid fights, earn money. And a full tavern might be a chance to meet someone—if I could keep the group in line.
I went back to fetch the three and explained the mission. Liriel saw the contest as an excuse to drink for free. "A goddess deserves better wines than these mortals," she said, excited. Elara promised to use light magic to help. "Nothing too mana-heavy, I swear," she said, unconvincingly. Vespera, adjusting her bow, smiled. "I'll keep order. Or cause some fun chaos."
I tried to set rules: "No crazy magic, no arrows, no succubus charms. Just serve drinks and stay quiet." The three ignored me, as usual.
In Torin's tavern, the place was packed. Adventurers, merchants, and locals were laughing loudly, and the smell of beer and roasted meat filled the air. Torin greeted us with a sarcastic smile.
"The hot spring perverts, huh? Try not to destroy my tavern this time."
My face burned. He introduced Melina, a red-haired bard with bright eyes, already strumming a lute.
"I've heard of you," she said, with a smile that promised trouble. "I've already started a song about the hot springs. Want to hear it?"
I declined, but I felt it would only make our reputation worse.
Torin explained the mission: serve drinks, avoid fights, and assist in the contest, where adventurers competed to see who could drink the most. He casually mentioned hearing rumors of a Demon King general causing trouble in nearby villages.
"But that's a story for another time," he said, returning to work. I tried to focus on the task, but Melina was watching us, jotting something in a notebook. "This will be a hit," she muttered.
The contest began, and chaos came fast. Elara tried a levitation spell to carry a tray of beers. "It's just a simple spell," she said. It worked for ten seconds until her mana ran out. The tray fell, drenching a group of adventurers who began shouting.
"Sorry, sorry!" groaned Elara, pale, collapsing into a chair.
Vespera, seeing the commotion, decided to "calm" things with her succubus charm. "Relax, let's have fun," she said, winking. The charm worked a little too well: a drunken adventurer started following her, declaring eternal love, while another tried to fight him. Vespera grabbed her bow to scare them off, but the arrow flew crooked, hitting a curtain that caught fire.
"Oops, I love it when things go wrong!" she laughed, running into the middle of the brawl as if she wanted to get hit.
"Liriel, do something!" I shouted. She, already participating in the contest, raised her glass.
"Divine magic to purify these terrible drinks!"
The foam from the barrels erupted like a beer volcano, drenching everyone. I tried to put out the curtain fire but tripped in a puddle of beer and fell on a table, knocking over more glasses. Worse: my soaked shirt tore, and I fell onto a customer, a seemingly nice girl.
"Sorry, it was an accident!" I said, but the other adventurers laughed, thinking I was flirting on purpose.
"Look, the pervert strikes again!" someone shouted.
The peak of chaos came when Liriel, trying to fix the mess, used another spell.
"Total purification!"
The result? Everyone's clothes—ours and half the customers'—became sticky and semi-transparent. Elara, out of mana, tried hiding under a table. Vespera, covered in foam, laughed while dodging punches, loving the chaos. I tried to cover what I could, only hearing laughter. Melina, in the corner, started singing:
"The tavern-stripper adventurers have arrived, with beer and endless embarrassment!"
The crowd cheered, and Torin, red with rage, shouted:
"You'll pay for this!"
When the turmoil ended, the tavern was a disaster: broken tables, burned curtains, sticky floors. Torin gave us minimal reward, but the debt rose to 30 coins for the damages.
"You're a plague!" he said, while Melina finished her song, which echoed among the patrons.
We left the tavern under stares and laughter, earning the nickname "tavern-stripper adventurers."
Back at the inn, I sat with a watery beer while Liriel drank her magical wine.
"This is your fault, Takumi. Who chooses a goddess as an ability?" she said, nearly falling from the chair.
Elara, still pale, muttered: "I'll train my mana, I swear."
Vespera, with a bruise on her cheek, smiled. "Loved it. I want more chaos tomorrow."
I wanted to punch the table but just sighed.
Then Liriel, half-drunk, slipped:
"You know, Torin said that Demon King's general is getting closer to Vaelor. But that's your problem, mortals."
Before I could ask, she passed out, dropping her glass. I stared at the ceiling, exhausted. My chance at flirting in the tavern became a joke, the debt grew, and now there was a Demon King general out there. How was I going to survive in this world? And worse, how was I supposed to have a normal life with these three dragging me down?