I was standing all alone on a dark street in the biting cold of a January night, trying to find some place warm, get a job she says, as if it's a simple as going out and asking for an interview. I've put over 200 applications on indeed, and got shit back for them. It's damn near impossible to get a job without having a job or any relevant experience I couldn't even cut it as a grocery bagger, what made me think I would be able to survive in a plane parts factory I'll never know but I was desperate. My girlfriend said if I didn't get a job by January, she would kick me out and dump me. And I tried God knows I tried, but finding a job was so hard, and keeping one harder, with bipolar disorder, schizoaffective disorder, alexithymia, and crippling adhd, I was nobody first pick and even if I was chosen It was near impossible to hold the job for long. I think it was just her excuse to dump me and not feel bad about me living on the streets, not that I want her to feel bad, I know I'm no prize. I try to be a good person sure, if I have money passing someone who is homeless, I give them what I have on me, I listen to people and do my best to help them with their problems, I'm always there for people who need me, and I do whatever it takes no matter how inconvenient to help my friends. I don't think this makes me a good person though. I'm lazy, I can be inconsiderate of other people's feeling because I don't truly understand them, I'm a nightmare in social situations, and I can be pretty cold to those who have hurt me before. Still, that's not going to help me right now. I have no real place to go, my parents are long gone, I don't have any siblings or cousins I could call up to ask for a place to stay and the homeless shelters are packed, if I don't find some shelter soon, I'm going to die, not that that's entirely unappealing, it's just that I don't want to give in without at least some token resistance. I look for a place to rest for hours my thin clothes doing nothing to shield from the bitter cold, I cant feel my fingers anymore, and its getting harder to move, I try to find something to start a fire with maybe a barrel and some trash, but no such luck I live in a relatively small town and it was just trash day so there's nothing around that isn't somebody property and I'm not a thief I wont die one. I sit down against a chain link fence, trying to warm my hands as I feel my eyes start to droop closed. I know I should fight to stay awake but I simply don't care anymore. This world has taken everything from me and I simply don't feel like living in it anymore, where ever I end up after my death has got to be better than this accursed world. with my last thoughts as bitter as the air enveloping me, I start to feel warm again. I know that's a sign of advanced hypothermia, and I don't want to be awake for the worst of it so I simply allow myself to drift off to sleep.
I wake up and at first, I'm disappointed I'm still here, but everything is different, I'm in a place with white walls, a white ceiling, and white furniture I'm laying down in a bed, it seems someone brought me to a hospital. I sigh and just resign myself to trying to find a place to sleep tonight It seems I won't get the death I wanted after all. Then all of the sudden I hear someone clearing their throat. I look over and I see a woman with a stark white robe brighter than anything I've ever seen.
"Not what you expected right?" she says.
"That depends did I die?"
"You successfully turned yourself into a popsicle yes." She said with a reproving look. I feel guilty for all of two seconds. Then the brightest smile comes over my face. Its over it finally over, I don't fear hell, earth was like a training course.
"SO, you must be God. Weird that you're a chick when all the monotheistic religions painted you as a dude. But other than that, I'm not to surprised. You obviously spent more time on the female genitalia then you did on the men's…. except for hyenas what did you have against them?" I ask with a humorous lilt in my voice.
"I can take either form as I was the one who created them, the girl bit me five times during creation, it was deserved, and no jokes right now mister I'm mad at you." she says with hard eyes, and I instantly feel guilty again. Say what you will about organized religion but I was a southern Baptist growing up, and my relationship with God was an important part of my life. I can feel the tears coming on.
"I'm sorry. I tried my best but I just keep failing, and failing at everything I tried I had nowhere to go no one who cared about me beyond the professional relationship with my counselor, I was a broken cog in the machine that was earth and I just couldn't fix myself in time. I couldn't find the strength to go on any longer, I couldn't find it in me to fight the inevitable." Her eyes soften a bit and she places her hand on my cheek wiping the tears away.
"I know, it was truly a miracle you lasted as long as you did, but if you held on just a bit longer, tried just a bit harder to survive you would have found a job working at a local McDonalds. Where you would have been able to try college again and go on to get a degree in mechatronics engineering, you would have gone on to get a job at Lockheed Martin and been and important part in creating the next generation of spacecraft where you would have meet your soul mate and gave birth to a child who would become an astronaut to carry the dreams of his father. He would have been the first person on mars, and an important public figure who would go on to champion human expansion. Your death has set back humanity over 200 years." As she explained all of this, I was shocked. It was by all means a good life. And impactful life. Maybe not on to be remembered but solid. It's just that, I don't regret dying for a second hearing how things were supposed to play out. I know it's a selfish though, but just continuing to suffer for my kid to someday become someone important? It's not worth it.
"No, I didn't imagine it would be. You're a dreamer and on earth there's not much room for those anymore. Only cogs as you have stated. That is why I'm offering you a do over in another world, with the boon you've always wanted." My eyes light up I expected hell not a reward.
"Now hold on its no so simple, you going to a world of my choosing and you're not going to be yourself, you're taking the place of an important person who died before his destiny of saving the universe could be fulfilled. You will be taking the place of Philip j fry." All the joy I had slowly starts to deflate I know Philip j fry as I used to watch futurama to fall asleep almost religiously., the character was a moron and while I was no genius myself, I couldn't play the part of a moron convincingly.
"Oh no need to worry about that part, your being inserted fairly early just before the events of the second episode."
"SO how did this fry die so early he hadn't really done anything dangerous so far."
"Well, the problem is in this version of the future fry hasn't gotten his inoculations from professor Farnsworth for the new diseases that show up in the future. He caught a virus that with his thousand-year-old immune system killed him in almost an hour. I'm sending you to just before he passed away and dialing back the virus just enough so you can survive long enough for the professor to cure you."
"And my boon?" I ask rather curious.
"You'll see." She replies with a smile. And before I know it, I'm falling through a colorful rainbow. Heading to a new universe to live my life as Philip j fry."