Sara, don't you believe it? I have nothing to do with Natasha, and I never have. Please call me back." Petr's voice, which I hear every day when he calls me and tries to convince me in every way that he is innocent. He sends me flowers... tulips, sunflowers, roses... they are everywhere I look and I slowly have nowhere to put them. I don't react to it in any way, I take the flowers, put them in a vase and that's it. I don't answer the phones and don't even try to answer them. It's been like this for two months, but Petr's voice still manages to upset me quite a bit. Every time Valerie registers another bug, she looks at me mischievously, but remains silent. She told me a few times to just talk to him, or call him to stop, but I don't want to see him anymore. And if possible, never again.
"That's so cute." Valerie melts over the striped baby rompers.
"I'm thinking about buying something too." She says after a while and starts laughing. When I suggested to Valeria if we could go shopping today, she enthusiastically agreed and said that I couldn't have chosen anyone better to shop with. She's been spending about fifteen minutes in the children's clothing department now, raving about every piece she can find.
"Something or someone?" I ask curiously. Valerie points to her big belly and it's clear to me right away. I'll leave it up to you, I think, but I wouldn't be against it at all.
We both arrive home exhausted with sore legs and we're just ripe to lie down in bed and sleep. We put all the shopping bags in the hallway and leave unpacking for tomorrow.
We decide that we'll really leave sleeping for the night, take out the calendar and start choosing a name. Valerie just nods, it's up to me after all, but a different opinion isn't bad either.
"You know, but I've actually already made up my mind. If it's a boy, it'll be Patrik, and if it's a girl, it'll be Patricia. I've always wanted these names." I decide. In fact, for the first time, I realize that I'm not arguing with anyone, for example over names, the basket not being taken out, the uncooked dinner... I just wonder if it's just part of life and what I'm actually getting myself into. When I remember how Petr looked in my kitchen the other day, my knees still give out. I can tell myself a hundred times that I won't think about him anymore, but it just won't work... I want him, I still want him so much, but I can't undo what he did.
"Sara? Are you asleep or awake?" Val snaps me out of my reverie.
"Yes? I was just thinking."
"Aren't we going somewhere tomorrow? It's Friday, we're not going to sit at home, what do you think?"
"Well, that's not such a bad idea, but where should it be?" I ask tensely, hoping it won't be Libor again, because I've experienced a lot with him, I'm not just saying bad things. Meeting Petr was the best time of my life.
"Let's go have a nice dinner and then we could maybe take a walk around the city," he suggests and I'm all for it.
"So, what would you like, ladies?" the waiter asks us when he stands at our table. I haven't been to such a nice restaurant in a long time. The tables are covered in beautiful pale orange tablecloths, with not a single stain on them, glasses polished to the highest standard, just beautiful.
"A still mineral water." I order one.
"I'll have…white wine." She smiles pleasantly at the waiter, who of course doesn't miss it and smiles back and walks away.
"Valerie, you flirt." I laugh at her expense.
"Well, what? I'm enjoying myself, aren't I?" she winks at me mischievously and we both burst into laughter. When the waiter brings us the drinks we ordered and snorts away with the food order. Valerie and I get into an interesting debate about whether it's better to buy clothes in green or white, when I don't yet know if it's a boy or a girl. I would go for green, I don't like white at all, it seems empty, meaningless to me... But the debate has grown quite a bit, I never would have guessed what we'd get out of children's clothes.
If we don't eat great food, and I can't even breathe because I'm so full, we'll pay and we can go for a walk through the city at night. It's still pleasantly warm outside, so I just put on a light bag, which I go to the hanger to get and we can go out. Guests start coming in just as we want to go out, so we have to wait for everyone to pass. Everything would be fine if I hadn't spotted Petr among them. In a business suit, with a tie and a charming smile on his face. I try to get out as quickly as possible, but the group is so large that it's going much slower than I need.
"Sarah?" he says next to me just as I see a gap through which I could squeeze through. But now I can't cowardly run away, I have to face it.
"Hi Petr." I greet him and try not to show anything about myself. I don't know if I'm good at it, but Petr is watching me with a stony face, examining every detail. When his eyes travel to my already slightly protruding belly, he freezes and stares only at it. I can clearly see him counting and counting in his head...
"Don't you want to tell me something?" he blurts out and I have to think about what I'm going to say to him at this very moment.