EP.2 Am I the Lotto First Prize Winner...?
"Kyaa! Help me! Please, help me!!!!"
On the opposite side, a young woman was being attacked by a zombie.
'Don't draw aggro, if I draw aggro in this situation I'm totally screwed!!!!'
Normally, Kim Taesik would have reflexively turned his head toward the woman.
At the very least, he would have glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.
But now, with the apocalypse imminent
And with a zombie coming at him
Kim Taesik didn't even look at the screaming woman and focused solely on the zombie charging at him.
Sasasak!!!!
Kim Taesik then took a slight step back.
This was to secure enough distance to smash the zombie's head with his metal pipe.
In an instant, he gained some distance from the zombie,
"Die, you fucker!!!"
Puhhhhhhhk!!!!!
He mercilessly brought the metal pipe down vertically on the zombie's head.
Wobble!!
The blow caused the zombie's center of gravity to pitch forward.
Sasasasak!!!
Kim Taesik quickly turned halfway to the side of the zombie, securing space in an instant.
Bwoooooong!!!!
The zombie's body bent forward.
Kim Taesik had secured space to the side.
The back of the zombie's head was completely exposed.
From that position, Kim Taesik put his full weight into it and struck the back of the zombie's head with the metal pipe.
Puhhhhhhhhk!!!!
With a tremendous impact, Kim Taesik's attack landed squarely on the back of the zombie's head.
Cheolpeodeok!!!!
The zombie, struck hard on the back of the head, collapsed straight to the ground.
Puaaaaagh!!!!
But Kim Taesik had already learned from experience.
He'd just recently experienced a situation where a zombie attacked him again because he hadn't finished it off.
Determined not to face that danger twice,
Kim Taesik gripped the metal pipe with both hands and, like swinging an axe, brought it down on the fallen zombie's skull.
Puseoseoseoseok!!!
The zombie's head was smashed.
A perfect finishing blow.
"Wow... my stamina is dropping like crazy... Swinging like this in an extremely tense state just drains me..."
Look around look around look around
After taking down two zombies, Kim Taesik checked if any more were approaching.
"This isn't a game where you go around happily hunting zombies. I have to get back to the base camp I built in the outskirts before the zombies pouring out onto the main road spread any further."
Kim Taesik had always prided himself on his physical fitness.
After hearing the prophecy that the zombie apocalypse was coming, he had prepared even harder.
But fighting zombies in an urgent situation consumed a tremendous amount of stamina and energy.
So he became even more determined to head for the base camp.
Dadadadadadadada!!!!!
With that, Kim Taesik started sprinting at full speed toward the base camp.
"Shit's fucked..."
I was already fucked, to be honest.
'Fuck, I died while jerking off... Damn... This is so fucking embarrassing...'
This happened about five months ago.
I was enjoying some intense happy time in my rooftop room.
I'd like to say it was a really hot and secretive night.
I found some porn I really liked, and my lust exploded.
If I could have held back, I wouldn't be a 24-year-old man in his prime.
'I shook it so hard I nearly lost my mind... I didn't think my soul would actually leave my body...'
I really went at it like crazy.
Twice, three times, endlessly.
At that moment, I was definitely alone, going at it.
But it was as if I was actually having sex with the woman on the screen, lost in madness, thrusting away.
I was passionately on fire, as if I was truly making love to that porn actress.
But maybe I went too far.
I ended up falling backward while jerking off, hit my head on the floor, and died.
And so, Kim Taesik, a 24-year-old Korean man, died while jerking off.
'Oh... the goddess is insanely beautiful...!!!'
After dying so spectacularly, I ended up in the afterlife.
There, I met a goddess.
The goddess appeared before me, as big as an apartment building.
I felt like Sun Wukong in the Buddha's palm.
She was truly beautiful.
Her form, shining brightly with radiant light, looked almost holy.
The shame of dying while jerking off felt completely healed.
[Get on your knees, you bastard...]
Shit.
I was fucked again.
While I was lost admiring the goddess's beauty, I was suddenly forced to kneel.
It was bad enough to die while jerking off, but now I had to kneel like a criminal.
With me in such a miserable state, the goddess began to recite my supposed crimes with a slightly angry, dignified expression.
Soon, she couldn't control her emotions and started ranting at me, calling me a psychopath and whatnot.
'She's so damn pretty that I don't want to say anything harsh... but no matter how I look at it, the goddess is talking nonsense, isn't she?'
I sensed something was off in the goddess's words.
No matter how I listened, the things she listed had nothing to do with me.
Not to brag, but
Kim Taesik is a guy who could live without the law, a guy who loves food more than the law.
If God told a sage to pick 15 righteous people from a corrupt world, I'd definitely be one of them.
That's the kind of person I am.
I even paid for my porn.
Those AV actresses need to make a living too.
Even the porn I was watching when I died, I paid for.
Of course, porn is illegal in Korea.
But that's something you should be flexible about.
With that confidence, I immediately interrupted the goddess and filed a complaint.
"What? You're saying it was a mistake?"
The truth came out.
So, this whole situation was a mistake.
The goddess's side had mistaken me, the righteous Kim Taesik, for another Kim Taesik with the same name.
From the episodes the goddess mentioned earlier, it seemed the other Kim Taesik was a psychopath.
Sure, I died pathetically while jerking off.
But being mixed up with a psychopath was truly tragic.
Anyway, the righteous Kim Taesik was never meant to die while jerking off.
I was just supposed to faint and then wake up again.
But the goddess, mistaking me for another Kim Taesik with the same name, age, and gender, made me die instead of just fainting.
"Wow... how do you not only have the same name, age, and gender... but also faint at the same time? And to the point where your soul almost leaves your body?"
Still, she's a goddess.
A goddess shouldn't make mistakes like that.
So I sternly scolded her for making such a big mistake just because our name, age, and gender were the same.
Because of that, I got to hear more details about the incident,
and the coincidence was so unbelievable I couldn't help but slap my thigh.
My namesake, the psychopath Kim Taesik, just happened to faint at the exact same time as me.
What's more, both of us fainted so hard our souls almost left our bodies.
To be exact, I had a normal fainting spell,
while the psychopath Kim Taesik's was closer to actual death.
Normally, in my case, my soul shouldn't have left my body.
But it just so happened that an extremely passionate happy time and a fainting spell overlapped.
The shock of fainting, combined with an explosive orgasm,
caused my soul to leave my body.
At least, that's the goddess's analysis.
I agree.
It was that kind of night.
"Well, if it was that much of a coincidence, nothing you can do."
Mistakes happen.
I'm not that uptight.
Especially if it's a super-beautiful goddess, I can be generous.
Now that I knew it was a mistake, I just had to accept it and get things back to normal.
So I asked the goddess if she could bring me back to life.
"You already... cremated me...?"
[I'm sorry...]
She said I'd already been cremated...
I didn't realize that much time had passed since I came to the afterlife...
According to the goddess, there's a big difference in the sense of time between the afterlife and the living world...
Anyway, fuck, because of the goddess's mistake, I died while jerking off, and my body was already cremated, so I couldn't go back.
[I'll arrange for you to reincarnate in another world...]
Luckily, the goddess didn't go into "screw you" mode.
She didn't seem like that kind of person to begin with.
She really did seem sorry.
The goddess came up with a solution.
That solution was reincarnation in another world.
After that, she searched for several worlds for my reincarnation.
"Wow... did people who went to another world really write novels about their experiences???"
Among the worlds nominated for my reincarnation, there was even a fantasy world with a demon king.
The fantasy world I saw through the goddess's hologram looked just like the ones I'd imagined from novels and comics.
"The gender-swapped world is kind of attractive too..."
Another world was a gender-swapped world.
But in the end, I turned down both the fantasy world and the gender-swapped world.
Enjoying them through novels or webtoons is one thing, but actually living there is something else entirely.
Crazy as I am, I'm ultimately a person used to modern civilization.
I thought it would be hard to adapt to a medieval-style fantasy world.
And as for the gender-swapped world...
I wasn't sure I could handle the possibility of being reverse-raped.
I'm actually kind of a romantic.
So I turned down a variety of worlds.
Then, finally, I was offered two worlds similar to the Earth I lived on.
Both felt like parallel worlds to Earth.
But each had its own risks.
One didn't have risks to the level of threatening my life.
That's right.
It wasn't a life-threatening risk.
It wasn't to the level of threatening my life, but
depending on how you think about it, it could feel just as bad, or even worse.
That risk was TS (Transsexual).
If I reincarnated in that world, I'd have to lose my manhood.
I'm someone who died while jerking off.
That's how much I love the happy times my little buddy brings me.
So I just couldn't accept TS.
After all those twists and turns, the world I finally chose was this one.
A world on the brink of a zombie apocalypse.
[I will grant you a few special privileges...]
About to be reincarnated in a world facing a zombie apocalypse with no foundation or backing,
the goddess said she'd give me a few special privileges.
She said she'd give me the means to prepare for the zombie apocalypse.
The goddess input two pieces of information into my head after reincarnation.
The first was the winning numbers for the lottery,
and the second was information about cryptocurrency.