Noah could only roll one spin at a time. With little excitement, he waited as the screen processed.
He knew this kind of gacha gambling—nine times out of ten, the pull gave useless cards—so he didn't expect much.
Ding!
[Legendary Card Acquired: Perfect Fit Rod | Usable: Unlimited | Cannot Reappear]
Turns out his high-school teacher was right: lower your expectations and blessings would find you. Noah's brows shot up.
His very first pull was a legendary card, and judging by the name, something incredible was about to happen to his body.
"I'm already confident with my five-point-nine inches. Is this card gonna make it veiny and monstrous, nudging the cervix until women scream loud enough for Jesus to hear in heaven?"
The system let out a choppy little giggle, lips curling smugly.
[Oh, child… I'm sure God was at His creative peak when He designed your anatomy. But there's a saying: no one size fits all.]
[Women's bodies, like men's, come in different sizes. This card lets you adjust once you're inside them.]
[Some crave monstrous, others find it intimidating. And yes, she might awaken Poseidon from the depths of the sea or Zeus at the peak of Olympus. You're already above average, no need to worry. You can use it, or not.]
Noah pressed his lips together. So this card was basically a confidence booster. It could be useful in making women worship his dragon faster. He chuckled, remembering it could replace the three-grand penile filler Freddy had been eyeing.
A sharp sting thudded against his left ribs. Noah winced but kept rolling the second spin.
"Is Legendary the highest tier of cards?" he asked the creepy noseless face.
[Yeah… you could say that. Tiers go with Common, Rare, and Legendary. But there are Joker cards that'll make you either fly to cloud nine or want to bury yourself six feet under. Don't worry. In my last hundred years on duty, I've only seen one Joker pull. I doubt you'll be that 'lucky.']
Noah figured it was better not to be that lucky. Mysterious things usually brought bad luck rather than good.
Ding!
[Rare Card Acquired: Whispering Ears | Usable: 2 Times | Sometimes Reappears]
[Oh my Lust God, you got a nice card. Use it carefully. It lets you know the three worst secrets of someone. I love this card, it's so fun to know others' secrets and play with them.]
From his flat expression, Noah wasn't exactly amused. But he resonated with the part about enjoying secrets. It was like cracking a complex line of code while his friends still fumbled for answers.
It was part of knowledge, and knowledge was power.
However, they were the trickiest to hold.
"Fine. Let's do the last roll. I need to rest, my headache's getting worse." His clipped voice pressed on.
[Huh? Oh right, you're still weak. Hm… wonder if the next pull will give you a healing card.]
Healing card? They have those? His mind reeled as the screen processed the roll.
Ding!
[Common Card Acquired: Devil's Pinch | Usable: 1 Time | Often Reappears]
He skimmed the long description, focusing on the highlighted meaning:
[t's a Challenge Card. If you choose to use it, you must make your target genuinely ask you to pinch her nipple in a public space.]
[Success rewards you permanently $300,000. You may also earn Dominance Points depending on your target's tastes.]
[Fail within 24 hours, and $300,000 will be deducted from your permanent wealth.]
No matter how many times Noah blinked and reread it, the words stayed the same. He hadn't misread. His face twisted in disbelief.
"Oi, system…"
[Ah, call me Cam.]
"Cam?"
[Yeah. I liked it when you called me Cameraman and shortened it. Everyone else just says 'system.']
Noah rolled his eyes. "Fine. Whatever, Cam. Aren't you joking a little too far with this card?"
Cam looked unbothered, lips pursed like a whistle.
[First, I don't control the spin. It's luck, a gamble. Second, haven't you imagined it? Playing kinky in public? Remember what you did with your ex in the classroom?]
Noah flinched. Jaw clenched.
Temptation and shame flickered in his eyes.
Cam had him. He had almost forgotten how corrupt he used to be.
Was it because his head was full of Meredith now?
[And you have full control to use it or not. Why look surprised?]
Noah smirked. "With those three hundred grand? You're forcing my hand."
[We're not!] Cam giggled creepily.
[Ah… I know why you're mad, you're ashamed, don't you? You want the money, but not the deed.]
[Listen, boy. It only feels humiliating if you let it. Embrace it. You're in full control of your mind.]
"Fine! Stop lecturing me. I get it. I was just shocked—it's been a long time since I played public kinks."
[Then perfect. It's an honor to awaken your depravity again, Noah Snow.]
Noah only glanced away and lay back down, his body still needed rest.
"Can I get some sleep now?" he muttered, hoping Cam would shut up.
[Sure. You need to get well soon.]
[Ah, I forgot! There's a rule you mustn't break. During the contract, you cannot have sexwuushdjbj... If you do, the Lust God wooussnkdjsnj...….]
Noah half-listened to Cam's yapping, eyes fluttering shut. His gut told him he should probably ask about that rule later.