The harsh light of the dressing room felt unforgiving. My manager had just finished telling me, "Four out of the top ten articles of this month are about you."
"No, I haven't seen them... I don't really go on the internet much," I responded, trying to keep my expression neutral. Inside, a familiar dread coiled in my stomach. I knew what the articles would say.
Then there was Rena. She looked up from her tablet, her face an irritating mask of false concern, holding up the screen which was likely filled with the awful comments. "Really? That's no good! A lot of people seem to have a problem with your acting. How could you say you don't care? Isn't that a little irresponsible?"
Irresponsible? She had the nerve. The image of the comments flashed in my mind:
"Controversy Over Ajin Baek's Performance in Drama, 'Trouble'"
"Ajin Baek's Performance in Drama, 'Trouble' Proves Lead Role Is Too Early for Rookie in Second Year of Debut"
"Drama 'Trouble' Is a Cacophony Between the Brilliant Supporting Actor and the Inexperienced Lead Actor"
"Drama 'Trouble' Is Trending, but Ajin Baek's Performance Is 'Meh'"
I saw the comments people were leaving online too. "she can't help it. The other actors are too good lol", "The other actors have a few decades of experience whereas she has two," and the simple, cruel, "She's so pretty but her acting is very... :("
I forced a smile. "Thanks for the friendly advice, Rena..." I paused, making sure I met her eyes. "But I'm not really in the mood to chat. Let's do this some other time. I'll treat you out to lunch or something."
Rena's smile faltered for a second, but she quickly recovered. "Oh. Sure, sure."
As I turned my back, I could practically feel her seething. I knew what was going through her mind. I could almost hear her venomous whisper:
"WHAT A B*TCH?! HOW DARE SHE?! SHE'S TWO YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME... WHO TOLD HER TO STEAL MY ROLE? IF I WAS THE LEADING ACTOR, THE VIEWERSHIP WOULD HAVE GONE UP AT LEAST 5%. THEN I'D HAVE BEEN LAUDED AS AN IDOL WHO CAN ACT. UGHH, I'M SO PISSED!"
She was so snide, but I couldn't let it get to me. She was right about one thing-I was facing a flood of negative attention. But I had to push through. The drama Trouble was about the dark side of Korean politics and the confusion brought by the introduction of AI. The role was difficult, and I knew I was struggling to keep up with the veterans.
"her acting isn't the issue. it's like she's having a hard time keeping in step with the other actors..."
I took a deep breath. They called me a rookie. They said the role was too early. They were questioning my very presence in this industry, saying my management company must have bought the part for me. But I was acting, even if my performance was getting slammed. I was Ajin Baek, and I would prove them all wrong. I had to.
"Ms. Seo just called," my assistant said, her voice tight with nerves, "...and asked you to stop by her office before your next shoot."
I could only nod, the request a cold weight in my stomach. Ms. Seo. The CEO of Long Star Entertainment. This could only be about the disaster that was my debut drama, Trouble.
"Okay. Please tell her that I'll be there in a bit," I replied, trying to project a calmness I didn't feel.
I walked into her office. My main manager was already sitting there, a grim look on his face, a cup of coffee resting on the table between them.
"Did you see the article?" he asked, not meeting my eyes.
"I did..." I confirmed quietly.
He leaned forward, his voice hardening. "Did you read it or not?"
"I read it. Every word."
He sighed, his disappointment a palpable thing. "I told you this one wasn't for you. Look at the results."
Look at the results. I didn't need to look; I was living them. The backlash, the critiques, the feeling of not being good enough.
"How do you expect the viewers to empathize with your character when it's so obvious that you yourself don't?" he accused. His words were a direct hit, straight to my greatest fear.
"I know," I whispered, my voice barely audible.
He didn't soften. "Ajin, giving it your 100% is useless. Every actor gives it their 100%. You've got to put in 120%-no, 200%-to be noticed by viewers!"
His frustration boiled over. "I only let you take this role, even when I knew you weren't ready... because you told me you wouldn't let yourself be intimidated by the more experienced actors! If I had known your acting would be this bad, I'd never have let you take this on!"
His words felt like a physical blow, a confirmation of every hateful comment I had read online. He regretted choosing me.
As I left the office, stepping out of the elevator on the fifth floor, I was hit by another wave of corporate chaos. A man with sharp red hair and a briefcase, whose face I recognized as InKang, a producer or director, was talking to one of the administrative staff.
"Hi. Is Ms. Seo in her office?" he asked, a tense energy radiating from him.
"Oh, hello, InKang! Um, well..." the staffer stammered.
I moved past them, but his booming voice stopped me. The words weren't directed at me, but they hit their mark anyway.
"We both knew this was a poisoned apple before you even picked it up. I should never have let a rookie like you take that role!!"
The "you" he was referring to was clearly me, Ajin Baek. The shame and anger made my jaw clench. Every corner of this company seemed to echo with the same sentiment: I was a mistake. A failure. The weight of those expectations and that crushing criticism felt heavy, like the briefcase he carried. But I just kept walking. I had a shoot to get to, and I wouldn't let their words stop me from giving it whatever 100%, 120%, or 200% I had left.
The meeting with my manager had already been brutal, a stinging confirmation of my failure. As he continued to criticize my performance, a sudden commotion erupted outside.
A moment later, the office door burst open. "BURST".
The man from the elevator, InKang, strode in. He looked directly at my manager and me, his expression intense.
"Jeez, you were yelling so loud," he said, directing his words at my manager, or possibly Ms. Seo who was nearby. "...that I could hear you in the elevator, Ms. Seo."
My manager was instantly defensive, standing up. "What are you doing in here, InKang? Can't you see that we're still in the middle of a conversation?"
InKang dismissed the question with a gesture. "Come on, you're killing her confidence. She's still learning. This is a part of the process. My performance was WAY worse when I was a rookie."
I felt a small spark of gratitude, a faint warmth in the cold room, hearing someone defend me. But my manager was still furious. He saw InKang as a distraction, or maybe just another source of stress.
InKang then sat down, picking up a cup of coffee. "Who told you you could sit down? Also, what have you done to your hair?!"
InKang ran a hand through his reddish-brown hair. "My latest piece was really depressing so I dyed my hair for a change of pace. Don't you think I look a lot younger with this hair? Oh. Do you not like coffee, Ajin? You barely touched yours."
My manager immediately jumped on the topic of his hair. "I told you. Red isn't your color. You look like a punk."
InKang turned to me with a smile. "No way. Do you think I look like a punk, Ajin?"
My mind was reeling from the shock of the intrusion and the high-stakes conversation. I took a deep breath, trying to form a diplomatic reply.
"Mmm, I'm not sure..." I finally said. The words that came out next were impulsive, a defense mechanism, a nervous attempt at flattery mixed with a strange observation. "But if you did a commercial for spicy chicken feet, I think they'd sell out instantly."
The tense air in the room didn't fully dissipate, but the dynamic had shifted. My manager, who had been focused solely on tearing me down, was now engaged in a bizarre argument with InKang about his haircut and his marketability for a food commercial. It was a chaotic, utterly distracting mess, and for a fleeting moment, I was grateful for the reprieve. I was still in trouble, but at least for now, the spotlight wasn't entirely on my failure.
My strange observation-that InKang's red hair would make him perfect for a spicy chicken feet commercial-had an immediate, bizarre effect.
"PFFFT"
My manager spat out his coffee. He was coughing, clutching his face, looking utterly mortified.
"W-was that supposed to be a joke? Oh god, I think I got coffee up my nose..." he choked out, still coughing. "S-stop joking around...! What are you doing here, InKang?"
The tension I'd been drowning in just moments before shattered into a confusing mix of comedy and awkwardness. I tried to look away, but the sight was mesmerizing.
"Oh, right. I came by to give you this," InKang said casually, placing a shopping bag down.
"What is it...?" my manager asked, wiping his nose.
"It's a wine set... I was going to give it to you for New Years but I forgot to. You know that we're a month into the New Year, right? Wait. You're not seeing anyone, are you? What? No, of course not..."
InKang's rapid-fire questions and off-topic banter were an intentional whirlwind of chaos, and it was working. For a few minutes, the focus was completely off my acting failure. The conversation quickly shifted back to my manager's personal life and his concerns, but at least he wasn't yelling at me anymore.
"I heard Rena's been calling you, hoping to get back with you," he told InKang, his anger momentarily replaced by disdain.
"Don't worry. I already blocked her," InKang replied coolly.
My manager nodded. "Good. Just make sure to keep her at an arm's length. A lot of journalists are champing at the bit waiting for you to give them something to write about."
Then, my manager's face twisted into an expression of pure fury on behalf of his friend. "Has she no shame?! How could she reach out to you after cheating on you?! The way she used you... it makes..."
Rena. The same girl who had just given me her "friendly advice" an hour ago, the one who resented me for "stealing" her role. It turned out she was InKang's ex, and apparently a cheater to boot. She'd told me I was irresponsible for not caring about my bad reviews, but she was the one with the dirty laundry.
I sat there, watching the two men talk about Rena, suddenly seeing the bigger picture. My acting struggles were a problem, yes, but the entertainment industry was a minefield of grudges, personal dramas, and petty revenge. I was surrounded by people like Rena, desperate to see me fall, and managers like mine, ready to scream at me over a rookie mistake.
Maybe I needed to be less focused on giving 200% to my acting, and more focused on giving 200% to managing the politics and the predators around me. I had to be smart. I had to survive. The drama had changed from being a test of my talent to a test of my resilience.
The air in the office was thick with the strange mix of professional criticism and personal drama. My manager was still ranting about Rena's lack of shame for cheating on InKang, who just dabbed his eye with a tissue in mock despair.
"Uhhhhh, Ms. Seo... Ajin is here too, in case you forgot. Don't I get a little privacy?" InKang whined.
My manager was unsparing. "What privacy? The entire country knows you and Rena dated... Ajin, you mentioned you and Rena frequent the same salon, right? If she ever asks for InKang's number, tell her you have no idea. Actually, don't even bother talking to her."
"Okay..." I murmured, trying to absorb the new information: Rena, the conniving rival, was my manager's ex, and their continued professional proximity was a source of drama that apparently overshadowed my career crisis.
My manager then shifted gears back to business, the click of his teacup against the saucer like a gavel signaling the final verdict. "Next week is the last week of filming for Trouble, right? Let's get you back into acting lessons once the filming wraps up."
He leaned in, his expression turning serious again. "Acting isn't just about being able to recite the lines. You have to keep up the pace with the other actors. When you first debuted, I asked you to think of Yeona Seo as your role model. She became famous not just because of her looks or her acting skills... but also because of her ability to synergize with the any actor she was paired with."
His voice grew heavier with disappointment. "You're doing great, but I'm not sure I'm seeing that synergy in you. You won't get anywhere as an actor if the only character you can pull off is the lone wolf."
Then came the knife twist: "Look, Ajin. Tons of beautiful women make their debut every year. If you don't show people that you've got the talent, you'll be pushed aside when a newer, younger, prettier person shows up on the scene."
Pushed aside? Me, Ajin Baek?! The thought ignited a cold fury inside me. I stared at him, my silence echoing the depth of my resolve. No. That's not possible...
InKang, sensing the shift, interjected with a smile. "Though I did spill half-of-it... I did steal your coffee after all. So, I can help you run through your lines. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help you."
His offer was genuine, a lifeline thrown after I'd been nearly drowned in criticism. I met his eye for a moment, and simply nodded my thanks.
Later, speeding down the road in the backseat of the car with my driver, my gaze was fixed and distant. The city lights blurred in the window-VROOOOM.
Pushed aside? Never. They could criticize my talent. They could expose my inexperience. But I wouldn't let them erase me.
My face, reflected faintly in the dark window glass, was set with determination. I'm never going to let anyone push me aside...
The fight wasn't over. It had just begun. I would take the lessons, I would work until I could generate that "synergy," and I would use the final week of filming to prove my worth. The drama on screen might be Trouble, but the real drama was the battle for my career, and I wouldn't lose.
The dressing room mirror reflected my carefully neutral expression as my manager delivered the devastating news. "Four out of the top ten articles of this month are about you."
"No, I haven't seen them... I don't really go on the internet much," I responded, the lie tasting metallic in my mouth. I knew exactly what they said. Headlines flashed in my mind: "Controversy Over Ajin Baek's Performance in Drama, 'Trouble'," and the cruelest of all, "Drama 'Trouble' Is a Cacophony Between the Brilliant Supporting Actor and the Inexperienced Lead Actor."
Then Rena, another actress with a sharp smile and sharper ambition, looked up from her tablet. "Really? That's no good! A lot of people seem to have a problem with your acting. How could you say you don't care? Isn't that a little irresponsible?" She showed me the comments: "she's so pretty but her acting is very... :(" and "her management company probably got her the role."
I forced a smile. "Thanks for the friendly advice, Rena... But I'm not really in the mood to chat. Let's do this some other time. I'll treat you out to lunch or something."
I could feel her fury as I turned away. "WHAT A B*TCH?! HOW DARE SHE?! WHO TOLD HER TO STEAL MY ROLE? IF I WAS THE LEADING ACTOR, THE VIEWERSHIP WOULD HAVE GONE UP AT LEAST 5%." I knew her envy was as transparent as glass.
Part 2: The Verdict
A nervous summons from the CEO, Ms. Seo, led me to the Long Star Entertainment building. My manager was already waiting, the tension in the room palpable.
"Did you see the article?" he demanded.
"I read it. Every word," I replied, keeping my voice steady.
He didn't hold back. "I told you this one wasn't for you. Look at the results. How do you expect the viewers to empathize with your character when it's so obvious that you yourself don't?" He was furious. "Ajin, giving it your 100% is useless. Every actor gives it their 100%. You've got to put in 120%-no, 200%-to be noticed by viewers!"
"I know," I admitted.
"I only let you take this role, even when I knew you weren't ready... because you told me you wouldn't let yourself be intimidated by the more experienced actors! If I had known your acting would be this bad, I'd never have let you take this on!"
Just as the criticism reached its painful peak, a commotion started outside. The elevator chimed and opened, revealing InKang Hco, a director or producer. As he spoke to the secretary outside, his voice was loud and clear: "We both knew this was a poisoned apple before you even picked it up. I should never have let a rookie like you take that role!!"
He then strode into the office, briefcase in hand. "Jeez, you were yelling so loud... that I could hear you in the elevator, Ms. Seo." Ignoring my manager's protests, he continued, "Come on, you're killing her confidence. She's still learning. This is a part of the process. My performance was WAY worse when I was a rookie."
The atmosphere fractured into chaos. InKang sat down and started arguing with my manager about his red hair. To deflect, I blurted out, "If you did a commercial for spicy chicken feet, I think they'd sell out instantly." My manager spat out his coffee, convinced the insult was intentional.
Part 3: The Threat and the Resolve
InKang finally presented his reason for coming: a forgotten wine set for New Year's. The conversation then pivoted to Rena, who turned out to be InKang's cheating ex.
"I heard Rena's been calling you, hoping to get back together with you," my manager said.
"Don't worry. I already blocked her," InKang replied.
My manager seethed on his behalf. "Has she no shame?! How could she reach out to you after cheating on you?! She wouldn't be so well-known if it weren't for having dated you. The way she used you... it makes me so upset that it keeps me up at night sometimes!" He then warned me not to give Rena InKang's number if she asked.
Finally, he returned to my career. "Next week is the last week of filming for Trouble, right? Let's get you back into acting lessons once the filming wraps up." He stressed that acting requires synergy, citing Yeona Seo as my desired role model. "You're doing great, but I'm not sure I'm seeing that synergy in you... If you don't show people that you've got the talent, you'll be pushed aside when a newer, younger, prettier person shows up on the scene."
Pushed aside? Me, Ajin Baek?! A cold, hard certainty settled in my chest. No. That's not possible...
InKang offered to run lines with me, a surprisingly kind gesture. I accepted, my mind already churning. As I left the office and settled into the car, staring out at the streaking city lights, my manager's words echoed: pushed aside. And then, Rena's image, the girl who was both my rival and a manipulative ex. I had been worried about my acting, but the real enemy was this industry, and the people within it.
Ms. Seo chose the wrong role model for me. Yeona Seo represented grace and synergy, but what I needed was a different kind of strength. I needed to be ruthless. I'd learn the synergy, sure, but I'd also learn how to fight.
My lips curled into a faint, defiant smile. I'm never going to let anyone push me aside...
"WE'LL SEE WHO'S LAUGHING ONCE I'M DONE WITH YOU."
I was done being the rookie. I was done being pushed. The heartless game had begun.