[Shang Tian Fa Jiao Nan: Indeed, this fruit does not exist in my world. This instant transmission method, along with this faint energy, clearly comes from a different reality.]
[Hei Si Fei Nu Ren: It's really real!]
In a quiet Tokyo apartment, Kasumigaoka Utaha stared in shock at the strange berry in her hand. Though she felt no special energy, the sudden appearance of the fruit startled her. To make sure she wasn't dreaming, she pinched her thigh. Smooth… soft… and extremely painful. Definitely real.
[Sha Diao Le Zi Ren: Looks like everyone received it. This was just a small starter gift.]
[Sha Diao Le Zi Ren: Normally, I'd prepare something better for our 'first meeting,' but I don't have much right now. How about a live broadcast instead?]
Li Yue quickly activated one of the Chat Group's built-in functions.
[Sha Diao Le Zi Ren started a live broadcast, come watch!]
"Hey~ Hello, everyone! I'm Li Yue, the owner of the Sha Diao Chat Group. My nickname here is Sha Diao Le Zi Ren. As you can see, I'm currently fishing at the pier."
He grinned broadly, waving at the camera.
[Hei Si Fei Nu Ren: Wait… the people around you are all wearing ancient clothes. Why are you dressed in a Hawaiian shirt?!]
[Shang Tian Fa Jiao Nan: From what I see, this seems to be an ancient Chinese society, several eras removed from the modern age.]
Li Yue laughed. "Because I'm not from here. I'm an immigrant—from 21st century Earth. I accidentally ended up in this world, and now I live in a land called Liyue. To them, I'll always be an outsider."
[Shang Tian Fa Jiao Nan: To migrate between worlds… quite fascinating.]
"Oh, but there's something even more interesting than mere migration. It has to do with your true welcome gift."
Li Yue leaned back proudly in his folding chair.
"Senior Shiyu, Captain Aizen, have you heard of… quantum mechanics?"
"When in Doubt, Use Quantum Mechanics"
"In the quantum realm, quanta from different worlds can become entangled. This allows information from one world to flow into another, expressing itself in different forms. It's thanks to this 'quantum entanglement' that I can access information about your worlds."
Uncle Tian, who was fishing beside him on the pier, frowned in confusion. Li Yue was cheerfully lecturing into thin air, hands clasped like some wise lecturer. No one else could hear the Chat Group, of course, so to outsiders he just looked very weird.
[Hei Si Fei Nu Ren: So that's how you know my name!?]
"Yes. Thanks to this information flow, I know a great deal about your worlds—and about both of you specifically. Consider it a welcome gift."
[Shang Tian Fa Jiao Nan: Very well. Then, please tell us what you know.]
Aizen's interest sharpened. Bored after centuries in the static Soul Society, he was curious to see what this outsider knew.
Li Yue pointed at the screen. "Let's start with Captain Aizen."
He smiled.
"Aizen Sōsuke—Soul Society's greatest genius in a thousand years. Wielder of the zanpakutō Kyōka Suigetsu, capable of casting absolute hypnosis on anyone. Outwardly, you were Captain of the 5th Division. Secretly, you researched Hollowfication, ruled Hueco Mundo, and created countless Arrancar. All to reach a higher realm!
"Your ultimate goal—Zero Division, and even the Soul King himself. Details after that are complex, but trust me, explaining them all would take forever. So tell me, Captain Aizen… am I wrong?"
[Shang Tian Fa Jiao Nan: …It seems Li Yue-jun knows quite a lot about me.]
Though inwardly surprised, Aizen remained calm, only growing more intrigued. If this man could acquire his secrets, perhaps he could in turn acquire Li Yue's.
"I'm not a genius researcher like you," Li Yue continued with a grin. "But I know this much: you're considered one of the Five Special War Powers—the representative of overwhelming spiritual pressure. Combined with your unrivaled intelligence and Kyōka Suigetsu's perfect hypnosis… honestly, Captain Aizen, I can't imagine how you could possibly lose. Unless, of course,…"
He leaned forward.
"…plot armor interferes."
A Foster Father's Entrance
[Shang Tian Fa Jiao Nan: You know so much about my ambitions… yet instead of anger, you sound almost regretful?]
Li Yue nodded gravely. "Of course. The so-called Three Realms—Soul Society, the Human World, Hueco Mundo—were all constructed by the Soul King, but in truth, ruled ruthlessly by noble families. The Gotei 13? Merely attack dogs trained to maintain their rule. Where is the justice in that?
"So no—I don't see your rebellion as evil. Many may call you traitor, but as for me… I have only one thing to say!"
Suddenly, Li Yue dropped to one knee, both hands stretched upward sincerely.
"Li has wasted half his life in idleness, regretting only that he never found a true master. If Lord Aizen does not despise me, I would gladly accept him as my foster father!"
[Shang Tian Fa Jiao Nan: …]
[Hei Si Fei Nu Ren: …]
[Hei Si Fei Nu Ren: Pfft. So what's next? Will you declare, 'How can a great man live under others for long, when heaven and earth are so vast?']
Li Yue pretended not to hear her, his eyes still glittering with misplaced devotion.
"Foster Father, your world's details I will compile later, and upload to the group. But first, let's speak about Senior Shiyu."
[Hei Si Fei Nu Ren: He ignored me…]
Aizen stayed silent. In his centuries of existence, this was the first time someone had earnestly—albeit shamelessly—called him 'Father.' The absurdity left him speechless.
"Utaha Kasumigaoka… The Loser Heroine"
Li Yue leaned closer to the camera, smiling knowingly.
"Kasumigaoka Utaha. Pen name: Kasumi Shiko. A light novelist. Your early work, Koizuru Metronome, initially sold poorly and was nearly canceled. But then, promoted by a young blogger, it revived and found success—causing you to fall in love with that same blogger.
"Yet despite all your efforts—your beauty, your persistence, even direct advances—you were ultimately rejected. In the end, you became… the loser heroine."
[Hei Si Fei Nu Ren: LOSER!? Did you just call me a loser!?]
Smash—Utaha snapped her pen in half in frustration.
Li Yue chuckled darkly. "Yes, and not just any loser. You'll give everything—your talent, your charms—and still watch Tomoya choose someone else. You'll weep in your room, all alone. How very… pitiful."
[Hei Si Fei Nu Ren: …] (no response for a long while)
Li Yue grinned even wider. He could practically imagine her flustered face on the other side. Delicious!
Just then, his fishing rod jolted. "Hah!" He tugged and reeled in a fat pufferfish, sliding it into his basket smugly before casting the line out again.
"Don't worry, Senior. I'll upload your entire world-line into the group files as well. Spoilers are a gift from me to you."
Files Uploaded
[Sha Diao Le Zi Ren uploaded new files]
[Sha Diao Le Zi Ren: I've uploaded summaries of both my Foster Father's and Senior Shiyu's worlds. Check them out yourselves.]
Both quickly downloaded. Strangely, the counts showed:
Saekano: How to Raise a Boring Girlfriend → downloaded twice.
Bleach → downloaded zero.
Li Yue blinked. Wait… Aizen didn't download Bleach? He downloaded Saekano instead!? Lord Aizen enjoys slice-of-life romcoms?!
[Hei Si Fei Nu Ren: Impossible! Absolutely impossible!]
[Sha Diao Le Zi Ren: Very possible, Senior! Very possible.]
[Hei Si Fei Nu Ren: Damn it, Aki Tomoya… I actually lost to Kato Megumi? How infuriating!]
[Shang Tian Fa Jiao Nan: Hm. How should I put it? A bit dull, but I suppose that's what ordinary modern humans live like.]
[Sha Diao Le Zi Ren: Of course, Father. You are a man higher than heaven, with no women in your heart and only your sword drawn. You could never enjoy such trivial stories… unlike me.]
[Shang Tian Fa Jiao Nan: …]
It seemed Li Yue was determined to cling to this "foster son" role, and Aizen, surprisingly, could only sigh in resignation.
Aizen's Revelation
Finally, Aizen opened the Bleach file. Since these were Li Yue's memories, the download wasn't episodic—it granted him complete, instant understanding of the events.
[Shang Tian Fa Jiao Nan: So it is true… Kurosaki Ichigo. So this is how I lost. The Soul King harbored such thoughts. Zero Division acted as his true guardians. Wandenreich lurked in the shadows. I had underestimated the world. No, this world… is far more fascinating than I believed.]
[Sha Diao Le Zi Ren: Hahaha! As expected of Foster Father. With new knowledge, you won't repeat the same mistakes. This time, keep evolving—and for the love of everything, mind your personal aesthetic! You were perfectly handsome before the Hōgyoku fully consumed you, yet by the end you looked like some hideous moth. It was revolting!]
[Shang Tian Fa Jiao Nan: …]
[Sha Diao Le Zi Ren: Your most iconic moment was shattering your glasses, slicking your hair back, standing above the worlds, declaring: 'I will stand atop the heavens!' That was peak Aizen. Promise me you'll keep up the cool factor, okay?]
For the first time in centuries, Aizen's brow twitched. Being lectured about his image felt oddly uncomfortable.
[Shang Tian Fa Jiao Nan: …Very well. I will… keep it in mind.]