The shower water thundered down, cold and relentless, slamming onto Gu Jinghan's body. He clenched his lips shut and kept his eyes closed, a vein standing out at his temple as the icy stream ran from his shoulders down across his chest.
But no matter how the cold lashed at him, the heat lodged in his chest would not be put out. The harder he tried to force himself calm, the more his body betrayed him.
"Damn it…" he ground out through his teeth, his palm scraping hard across his face.
He tried to think of other girls — the underclassmen who had chased him, the pretty women at parties who'd circled around him. But no matter how he wrestled his thoughts, the image that kept cutting through was the one from the kitchen across the way: her nonchalant sip of milk, the white shirt hanging loose, the undone buttons, the hint of dark fabric showing beneath.
That scene had been carved onto his retinas like a knife.
"Fuck… why her?" he rasped.
His fingers dug into the tile until his knuckles blanched; his chest heaved like a tide. He breathed shallow, and in the end he surrendered to instinct.
Under the cold water his hand moved faster, his breathing growing ragged. The picture in his head sharpened — the shirt half-open, milk trailing from the corner of her mouth, winding down over her collarbone and into the hollow at her chest… — and with that vision he finally lost control.
The water chased away the sound of his low moans. When his body shook and let go, the release was absolute.
He braced his hands against the wall, chest heaving, hair plastered wet across his forehead. For a moment there was a hollow relief, but no real ease.
"This is wrong… this is all wrong." He muttered, his voice hoarse, nearly breaking. "She's been my rival since childhood… how can I be feeling this for her…"
He shook his head hard, as if to fling the guilt away, but the weight on his chest only grew heavier, like an invisible hand pressing down.
— — —
Deep into the night.
Gu Jinghan tossed and turned but could not find sleep. Only when exhaustion finally pulled him under did he fall into dreams.
The dream was dimly lit. A slim figure walked through the haze — the silhouette under the white shirt was graceful and tempting.
It was her. Xiao Yutian.
Barefoot on soft carpet, she moved with an undefinable allure. She drew closer slowly; her eyes glistened, and the corner of her mouth hooked into a half-smile.
"Gu Jinghan." Her voice was soft, syrupy, threaded with an ambiguous tremor.
In an instant she was against his chest, fingertips ghosting over his skin. The sensation sent electric sparks through him.
"What are you… doing…" he murmured, voice low and helpless.
Xiao Yutian didn't answer. She rose onto her toes and brushed her lips to his jaw. The sweet scent of her presence washed over him, stealing reason in a breath.
His breathing hitched; his Adam's apple bobbed as he could not pull back. Her hand traveled down his shoulder, each touch igniting another flare.
The dream spun wilder.
He growled and gripped her waist, slamming her against the wall. She only laughed, eyes dark and daring. "Can't handle it?" she teased.
Rationality snapped. Their breaths tangled and the heat climbed. Fabric was ripped away in urgent motions; murmurs and low gasps filled the dream, spreading like flame. Her whispers, his ragged breaths — every image felt painfully vivid.
When the dream burst, he was spent, a husk whose strength had been leeched, only the afterglow lingering.
— — —
"—!"
Gu Jinghan shot upright, drenched in cold sweat. The room outside the bathroom was quiet; only his quick breathing filled it.
He looked down, and his face fell. The damp, hot stain on the sheets was an unmistakable testament that left him close to swearing.
"Damn it!"
He clawed at his hair, irritation and shame roiling in his chest. He had dreamed — and done things — with her.
The fact was almost unacceptable. Logic told him she was his lifelong rival, someone he should keep at arm's length for good. Yet his body had betrayed him without mercy.
Night pressed in; he leaned against the headboard and pressed his fingers hard against his brow. After a long moment he breathed out, low and defeated:
"Xiao Yutian… you little seductress…"