Liang Yin was most disgusted by these types of people, and now it had become a habit for Da Fei to curse people.
Previously, Da Fei wouldn't bother to retaliate against characters like Wang Xi.
But it was quite satisfying to curse Zhou Shifang. Writers reeking of such sour stench deserved to be cursed until they were drenched.
Lin Chudong smiled, "Alright, will cursing people be part of my job from now on?"
Wang Zhi said, "Boss, your demeanor just now gave off a feeling of 'Close the door, sic Brother Fei'."
Lin Chudong: ...Get lost!
Lin Chudong thought for a moment and posted a short story.
A frog squatted at the bottom of a dry well, gazing at the clear sky above.
Suddenly, a little bird flew over and landed on the edge of the well, saying, "I'm really exhausted, I flew several thousand meters in one go!"
The frog said, "Friend, don't talk big. The sky is only as big as the mouth of the well. Why would you need to fly so far?"
The bird said, "Brother, you're mistaken. The sky is boundless and vast!"
The frog laughed, "Friend, I sit in the well every day, and I see the sky when I look up. I can't be wrong."
The bird also laughed, "Brother, you're the one who's mistaken. If you don't believe me, jump out and take a look."
\n\n
After Lin Chudong posted on Weibo, in less than two hours, the reposts once again exceeded 100,000.
"Front row! Da Fei is scolding people again. Come watch!"
"Da Fei is a civilized person; he didn't scold anyone this time. It's another fable. This story is so simple that I don't even need to analyze it. The frog in the well, haha!"
"I didn't expect that I, with only an elementary school education, could understand Da Fei's story. I'm so awesome."
"@Zhou Shifang, come out and take a look, this time I'm not calling you a dog, I'm calling you a frog!"
"Haha, Zhou Shifang is personified in all sorts of ways, but you can't take it seriously."
"Da Fei is really good at insulting people, this story is an adaptation of the idiom 'a frog in the well', right? Da Fei's talent is just amazing."
"@Curriculum Bureau, Da Fei has a new work out, there will be more stuff in the Chinese language textbooks next year."
"Curriculum Bureau: Received, currently reviewing."
"Holy shit, it's really the Curriculum Bureau, the official account, this account is following Da Fei!"
"Da Fei is so awesome, he can get followed by the Curriculum Bureau just by casually insulting someone, will Zhou Shifang also be included in the Chinese language textbooks in the future?"
"It's a pity that 'Looks Like a Dog From Afar' can't be included in the textbooks, otherwise it would definitely be a timeless classic."
"It's okay, the internet has a memory. Everyone will always remember this work."
"..."
Seeing these comments, Zhou Shifang nearly spat out a mouthful of blood in anger.
He opened his computer and typed a long string of words, but after some hesitation, he deleted it all.
He had cursed a lot of times, but Da Fei's casual responses had either sparked heated discussions among netizens or drawn the attention of the Curriculum Bureau.
In short, the more he cursed, the more he looked like a clown.
Zhou Shifang gritted his teeth and didn't respond.
Instead, he opened a folder and found a novel outline that he had treasured for many years.
To get back at them, he needed to rely on his work.
This science fiction writing competition was his best chance to strike back!
Zhou Shifang was filled with fighting spirit and began to write furiously.
On Saturday, two variety shows were airing at the same time.
"I Can 48" and "I Am a Comedian" were broadcast simultaneously.
Of course, the former was broadcast online, while the latter was on television.
Most people chose to watch "I Am a Comedian" first, and then watch "I Can 48" afterward.
After all, this episode of "I Can 48" didn't feature Da Fei; it was a chess competition between the other four teams.
Without Da Fei, there's much less to watch. The view counts are much lower than the first two episodes.
I Am a Comedian has begun.
Cheng Huanhuan is the host this time. Because of her popularity in the last episode, she immediately received a warm round of applause when she appeared.
"Sister Huan! Sister Huan! I'm here to see Sister Huan again!"
"The comedy queen is here again. This time she's replacing Da Fei as the host?"
"Goddess Huan is originally a CCTV host, okay? Da Fei is the amateur."
"Da Fei: How dare you say I'm an amateur? Your voice sounds like a donkey's."
"Da Fei is performing last again this time. I'm so anxious. I'm just waiting to watch Da Fei."
"..."
"Please welcome our new comedian, Wang Shuai!"
Wang Shuai is a mime artist. He opened with a mime performance for everyone, a bit like Chaplin, and it was quite brilliant, refreshing the audience.
Although it wasn't laugh-out-loud funny, it was definitely a high-quality act.
The new comedian is strong! The second group was a crosstalk performance.
The two crosstalk performers also did their best. Although there weren't many jokes in the performance, it was still exciting. They were all traditional routines, and the audience enjoyed the charm of it.
Logically, the director should protect these first two groups to maintain diversity on the stage.
So, the ones to be eliminated in this round would be selected from the later acts.
Mao Feifei was originally the most at-risk person this time. If he hadn't stolen Da Fei's script, he would have been the one eliminated.
After Mao Feifei took the stage, he opened a box, and Chen Ya, playing a female robot, appeared before everyone.
After a few minutes of interaction, Mao Feifei pressed the remote control, "I choose the gentle type!"
Suddenly, Chen Ya switched to a seductive and flirtatious mode, her performance was very thorough, and the audience applauded continuously, with netizens also giving unanimous praise.
"This program is interesting. Has Mao Feifei been guided by a master?"
"He's originally from a drama troupe and is quite skilled. Maybe this is his hidden program."
"Although the performance is still a bit restrained, the script is good."
"The beginning was good, but the ending was a bit anticlimactic, but it was still a surprise."
"..."
Everyone's evaluation of Mao Feifei was surprisingly good. His performance had exceeded the audience's expectations.
The second season of I Am a Comedian clearly improved in quality; everyone was taking it more seriously.
The Ant Team's performance remained super stable, with plenty of laughs and novel ideas. This time, they were likely to go head-to-head with Mao Feifei.
Finally, the last group, also the most anticipated comedy contestants of this season, were Da Fei and Cheng Huanhuan.
Last season's hand-holding act had made Cheng Huanhuan an overnight sensation.
If they had another hit this time, she would completely become the queen of sketches.
The Part-Time Worker
Screenwriter: Da Fei
Performers: Da Fei, Cheng Huanhuan.
Da Fei wore a black, nostalgic Zhongshan suit and a baseball cap. He had makeup on his face to make him look older, and he walked out with a fruit platter.
Thunderous applause immediately erupted from the audience.
Liang Yin couldn't help but laugh, "Da Fei, you're playing an old man this time!"
Lin Chudong nodded, "Looks pretty convincing, right?"
"Yeah, the makeup is great, and Brother Fei's acting is also very expressive. Your acting has improved recently, huh?"
Lin Chudong patted Wang Zhi on the shoulder, "You have a good eye, kid!"
Recently, Da Fei had been putting a lot of effort into studying acting. He had originally planned to hone his skills further before challenging Teacher Benshan's work. But now, that wasn't possible. Mao Feifei had plagiarized his script, so he had to step up and perform this classic work ahead of schedule.
"My back aches from sleeping, I feel sick from eating, and my head is muddled. Everything looks wrong."
"I pursued happiness my whole life. When I finally got it, I realized what happiness is. Answer: Happiness is suffering."
The audience burst into laughter.
As expected, it was still that rhyme maniac, and this round of rhyming was hilarious.
What is happiness? Answer: Happiness is suffering. This definitely needs to be included in Da Fei's classic quotes.
This time, Da Fei's appearance was also very unique, his first time trying an old man's look, which everyone could accept.
Then, a sweet voice came, heard before the person was seen.
"Some people spend money on food and drink, some people spend money to order songs, some people spend money on beauty treatments, some people spend money on massages."
"Today, I'm hired for a good job, someone spends money to hire me to chat with them."
When Cheng Huanhuan appeared, it immediately caused a wave of screams and cheers.
The last show had a very popular new comedian, but this time she was playing an old woman.
The last show, Hand in Hand, was also very energetic, but she was playing a young beauty, so it was basically her natural self.
This time, Cheng Huanhuan, a beautiful woman, was playing an old woman. She really went all out!
"WTF, Da Fei is ruining my goddess! I want to see my goddess!"
"Even dressed up as an old lady, she's still charming. Do you understand Comedy Queen? The comedic effect is the most important thing, and Sister Huan is very beautiful!"
"Sister Huan's two steps are amazing, she's just like an old lady, she really has no idol baggage at all."
"Don't always talk about idol baggage. Can those beauties become Comedy Queens just by letting go of their idol baggage? It's still because Sister Huan has good Acting Skills."
"That's right, Buried Love Family is here to support the president!"
"Why is Buried Love Family everywhere?"
"..."
The two comedians on stage were relentless with their jokes; the act was structured with a punchline every two lines, with applause and laughter never pausing for more than fifteen seconds.
Cheng Huanhuan's performance was incredibly lifelike. "Your son said, the countdown starts when I enter the house. We got stuck in traffic on the way here. We have fifteen minutes left before the hour is up. Hurry up!"
"What are you doing?"
"Our motto is to be proactive and enthusiastic, to exchange my sincerity for your smile. Hurry, I'll take off my clothes first..."
Lin Chudong quickly pulled her back. "Wait a minute, sister! Don't take them off yet. I need to understand what you're doing. Sister, my heart isn't good!"
Cheng Huanhuan pointed at Da Fei and laughed. "He's the shy type."
"Let's do this. I'll give you two Humorous Riddles first. Firstly, to test your IQ. Secondly, to ease the awkward atmosphere. Listen carefully."
"Tell me, to put an elephant in a refrigerator, how many steps does it take... Pfft, hahahaha!"
Cheng Huanhuan's laughter immediately made the audience laugh along with her. Coupled with Da Fei's bewildered expression, the comedic effect was instantly maxed out!
The camera switched to the audience, who were clapping and laughing. The punchline was too good.
"Three steps! First, open the refrigerator door. Second, put the elephant inside. Third, close the refrigerator door... hahahahahahaha..."
Cheng Huanhuan's awkward laughter made the entire audience burst into laughter.
"Hahaha, Huan-jie's acting is amazing, I'm dying of laughter. There's clearly no joke here, why do I want to laugh so much?"
"The joke is Huan-jie herself. This awkward laughter is the funniest thing I've ever seen, hahaha, putting an elephant in a refrigerator, Da Fei, this screenwriter is also a talent!"
"Look at Da Fei's expression, it's killing me. I don't know who to watch!"
"..."
Cheng Huanhuan said, "Look at me, I'm laughing so hard, why aren't you laughing?"
Da Fei hid to the side, "What's there to laugh at?"
Cheng Huanhuan stopped smiling, "No sense of humor, huh? Let me give you another riddle."
"A zoo is holding a gathering for all the animals. Which animal didn't come?"
Lin Chudong froze for two seconds, then Cheng Huanhuan said. "The elephant! It's locked in the refrigerator, hahahahahaha..."
The audience below immediately burst out laughing. The previous gag about putting the elephant in the refrigerator still relied on Huanhuan's comedic timing to deliver the punchline.
So that's how the elephant-in-the-refrigerator gag played out. It really caught people off guard.
Liang Yin and the others immediately burst out laughing, clutching their stomachs and almost crying from laughter.
The show had been on for three minutes, and it felt like seven or eight punchlines had already landed. It didn't give anyone a chance to breathe, it was hilarious from start to finish.
Capital City.
Deng Siqing was also laughing so hard she could barely stand, and she wrapped her arms around Cheng Huanhuan's neck. "You are so funny, you're killing me!"
Cheng Huanhuan rolled her eyes. "Get your 36Ds off me, you're suffocating me."
"This program was Da Fei's idea, and we rehearsed it for only two hours to get this effect. Pretty good, huh?"
Deng Siqing gave a thumbs up. "Amazing. Your reputation as the Comedy Queen is really going to stick."
Cheng Huanhuan sighed. "It's a pity that we didn't eliminate Mao Feifei this episode. That bastard is so despicable, it makes me so angry."
Deng Siqing had also heard about that incident. She couldn't believe he dared to enter her dressing room; he was truly audacious.
That day, she didn't run into him at the show, otherwise, she definitely would have given him a good scolding.
"Don't worry, didn't Da Fei say he'd deal with him after the show aired? He'll definitely follow through."
Cheng Huanhuan pouted, "That's what they say, but it's really difficult. Mao Feifei is just refusing to admit it. What can we do? We lack solid evidence. If we say he plagiarized, he won't admit it."
Deng Siqing frowned, "This is indeed tricky. Let's see how Da Fei handles it."
Hangzhou, a hotel.
Lin Qiqi and Song Jing watched the show together, laughing so hard they were bent over.
"Look, Sister Song, Da Fei is hilarious! His acting skills have improved so much now. It wasn't in vain that I taught him step-by-step, hahaha!"
Song Jing wiped away her tears, smiling. "Qiqi, I was actually quite against you and Da Fei being together before. Now it proves your judgment is better than mine. Contact Da Fei about the next film. If she thinks you're too expensive, we can negotiate."
Lin Qiqi's pay also had a friendship price. With Da Fei's current momentum, having a big star acting in her films was only a matter of time.
Instead of promoting others, it would be better to give all this popularity to Lin Qiqi. Don't we still have this relationship?
Lin Qiqi looked pleasantly surprised. "Really? That's great! I'll talk to Da Fei later!"
"Don't rush. Isn't Da Fei filming something like Swords of Glory right now? Let's wait and see how this drama turns out."
"You're different from others. Even if Da Fei becomes famous, she won't leave you behind."
Lin Qiqi responded with an "Oh," and didn't say anything else.
Song Jing sighed. She had really broken her heart for this little princess.
Although Lin Qiqi and Da Fei were in love, as her agent, she had to consider the situation and see how Da Fei's next project performed before deciding whether or not Lin Qiqi would appear in it.
Capital City.
Sun Xuan and Zhao Meizhu were watching TV, both of them laughing heartily.
Sun Xuan said, "What do you think? Da Fei is talented, right? This skit is absolutely amazing. I stepped down, and Old Qiu got a bargain."
Zhao Meizhu said, "He's really good at comedy, his acting is strong, and his singing is strong, but what does that prove? Is his planning strong too?"
Sun Xuan shook his head. "Don't underestimate Da Fei. In my opinion, he's a genius rarely seen in the entertainment industry, a once-in-a-century talent. There's nothing he can't do."
Zhao Meizhu rolled her eyes. "You're exaggerating. Once-in-a-century? Then why don't you get the leaders to approve your program? Did Da Fei's proposal get approved?"
Sun Xuan sighed. "The leaders won't approve it. They say the cost of this kind of show is too high. It costs a lot just to invite guests for each episode."
"They want me to do something low-cost. I'll discuss it with Da Fei later."
Zhao Meizhu said, "Give it up. Da Fei's plans are no good. They're too idealistic and don't consider the reality of the situation. You should just work on it yourself."
Sun Xuan looked at the show on TV and couldn't smile anymore.
Da Fei's plan was definitely good, and this show would definitely be a hit, but the leaders wouldn't approve it, so there was nothing he could do.
They insisted on him doing low-cost variety shows. How could he turn things around with low costs?
Sigh, although Zhao Meizhu didn't want him to ask Da Fei, he still wanted to discuss it with him. Da Fei had a lot of clever ideas, maybe he could come up with a solution.
Mao Feifei and Chen Ya sat in front of the TV, watching Da Fei's sketch and were green with envy.
"He has so much stuff!"
In such a short time, he'd directly come up with a new work, clearly he'd been prepared for a while.
Did this guy just write a bunch of scripts and keep them stored away when he had nothing else to do?
And then just casually pull one out when he needed it?
Just coming up with one comedy sketch was already awesome enough, but his comedy sketches were all amazing.
Robot Fun was already quite excellent, but then Hourly Worker came out, and it was immediately overshadowed.
Chen Ya said, "It doesn't matter, we've advanced anyway. Even if we can't beat Da Fei, making it to the finals is enough."
The show didn't give out much more prize money for higher rankings, so getting the exposure was enough.
Mao Feifei nodded, agreeing with the sentiment, though everyone wanted to win the championship.
Unfortunately, he didn't have the skill. If he hadn't plagiarized Da Fei's work this time, he wouldn't have even been able to avoid relegation.
Even if he was lucky and used Da Fei's idea, what could he do? Wasn't he a lawless rogue? He'd have to endure it this time, right?
The show continued on television.
"Hahaha... I'm dying of laughter." Cheng Huanhuan's devilish laughter had the audience rolling on the floor with mirth.
"I'm exhausted!" Da Fei's performance was also excellent, full of comedic points.
"Sister, can we stop laughing for a moment? Let's figure out what I sent my son to do."
Cheng Huanhuan said, "Accompany you to talk, chat, and gossip."
Lin Chudong was stunned. "Three accompanies, huh!"
The audience burst into laughter again.
Cheng Huanhuan slammed her water glass and shouted angrily.
"What are you talking about!"
"Sister, I really don't understand what you do..."
Cheng Huanhuan said with a straight face, "If you don't understand, then ask!"
"Let me tell you, our job, in broad terms, is home service, and in simpler terms, it's an Hourly Worker."
"Overseas, it's called a psycho-therapist, translated into Chinese, it's a psychologist."
"You don't understand anything, you're gone, you hurt my pride!"
Lin Chudong looked dejected, "You say I'm cooped up at home all day, and I finally find someone to chat with, and I still hurt their feelings... Hmm? Back already?"
Cheng Huanhuan held out her hand, "Give me the money."
"What money?"
"Your son said it's forty for an hour, and an hour is up."
"I'll give you fifty."
"Give me change, I don't have change!"
"Well, I don't have change either, so I'll give it all to you, young lady!"
"Why would I want ten more bucks from you? Use change!"
Lin Chudong rubbed his hands together. "You don't have change, and neither do I. How about you just chat with me for another ten bucks worth?"
The audience below burst into laughter again. Da Fei, that genius screenwriter, was amazing. "Chat for ten bucks," it was a classic.
"Fine, I'll put up with it for another ten bucks," Cheng Huanhuan said reluctantly as she sat back down.
Lin Chudong rolled up his sleeves; the next jokes were all on him.
The two skits prepared earlier were tailor-made for Cheng Huanhuan, designed to support her. This time, the jokes were almost evenly split between them, so it was also a test of Da Fei's Acting Skills.
He was a little apprehensive before performing, but now it seemed the show was going well. Cheng Huanhuan hadn't studied acting, but she was performing very naturally. This thing still depends a lot on talent.
But even so, Lin Chudong still hoped to open an Acting Skills skill from the Treasure Chest, so he could handle things more easily.
"I'm really sorry about what happened earlier, miss. I sincerely apologize. Want a cigarette?"
"No, thanks."
"How about some water?"
"I brought my own."
"Some fruit?"
"Makes me nauseous!"
"So, shall we chat then?"
"Chat it is! It's only ten yuan anyway, all on your tab!"
...
"Hahaha, another round of top-tier content, absolutely a classic scene."
"Da Fei is amazing, this comedy skit is amazing, and the writing is amazing too! It's all thanks to Da Fei's literary skills!"
"That's right, Da Fei's literary skills are undeniable. Whether it's rhyming or satire, he's reached the pinnacle. A simple comedy skit is nothing to him."
"Exactly, 'Looks Like a Dog from Afar', that work is a timeless classic."
"'The Frog at the Bottom of the Well' is also great, the textbook publishers will probably include it again."
"Let's see who dares to criticize Da Fei in the future. Da Fei's insults are worth ten yuan, probably nobody can handle it."
"Not to mention Mr. Zhou Shifang, he's already hurt his pride."
"Da Fei single-handedly straightened out the escort service."
"But the elephant lost its freedom."
"Hahaha…"
Lin Chudong rolled up his sleeves.
"Sis, let me tell you a joke to break the ice. This joke is really funny, I've made a living off jokes for half my life."
"So, there was a tiger that got bitten by a snake. The tiger got angry and wanted to stomp the snake to death. It chased and chased until it reached a river. The snake immediately dove into the water."
"The tiger waited on the bank, thinking, 'You just wait, I don't believe you won't come out!'"
"After a while, a turtle popped out!"
"The tiger went up and pinned it down."
"You think I wouldn't recognize you just because you're wearing a vest?"
"Hahahaha..."
Da Fei's laughter was followed by everyone else's.
Then, eyes fell on Cheng Huanhuan.
At this moment, Cheng Huanhuan's face was gloomy and cold. Only then did everyone notice that she was actually wearing a pink vest!
The entire audience burst into laughter again, and the atmosphere at the scene was pushed to a climax!
Qiu Chengdong was so happy he was slapping his thigh.
This program is legendary!
In front of the TV, Zhou Shifang looked at the vest he was wearing and turned red with anger. He quickly took it off.
Damn it, he got scolded just for watching a show.
-----------------------
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