Fwoooosh!
My body was swallowed by white light, as if a giant vacuum cleaner were sucking me in.
"Woah, woah, woah! What the hell is this? I just finished fighting a mini-boss, and now I'm immediately teleported to isekai-within-an-isekai? This isn't even DLC it's a clear bug!"
Or maybe… is this a hidden route? Ah, just like in Legend of the Saintess V: Rebirth Edition, when the player was suddenly thrown into the "Unfinished Developer Secret Map" just because of a collision bug. That was one of my favorite glitches.
Bzzzt! Bzzt!
The light around me cracked like glass, and then I fell hard onto the floor.
Bam!
"Ugh!" I groaned, patting my knees.
I looked around. This place… was weird. An empty room, with plain white walls, no doors, no windows. It really looked like a photo studio or a waiting room before an idol audition.
Suddenly, a giant holographic screen appeared in the air.
[ERROR: Welcome, Reginald Arvand.]
[ERROR: This content is under construction.]
I blinked. "...What the hell? Did I enter the developer room?"
Seriously, if this is a parody of World's Strongest But Actually Beta Tester, I'm going to rage. Don't tell me I'm this bugged system's test dummy.
Bzzzt!
Suddenly, a black cube-shaped hologram dropped from the ceiling. The cube spoke with a flat voice... somewhere between a robot and a cheap anime voice actor.
"Welcome, Player. You have been chosen to… uh, wait… where's the script? Oh right, system error. Well, anyway, welcome."
I gave it a deadpan stare. "Seriously? You even forgot the script? This isn't a cheap isekai anime, buddy."
The cube wobbled. "Ahem. You have unlocked the Hidden Scenario: Trial of Existence. Please survive for the duration of the trial."
Ding!
[Main Quest: Survive the Trial of Existence]
[Reward: Unique Skill ???]
[Failure: Permanent Deletion]
I swallowed. "...Permanent Deletion? You mean, game over? Hey, hey, hey, I thought this was an isekai parody rom-com genre, not an indie survival horror!"
The cube was silent for a moment, then in a flat, robotic voice, it said:
"System error. Trial mode taken from a random database. There is a 15% chance the setting is from Battle Tournament Saga, 25% from Cultivation God Simulator, the rest is a random mix."
I slapped my face. "...So I could be thrown into a boxing ring with muscled-up monsters, or told to meditate for 3000 years in a cave? God, this just keeps getting worse."
Crack!
The floor beneath me shook. Black cracks formed, and thick fog rose from within.
Swosh… swosh…
From the fog, a tall, upright silhouette emerged, carrying a sword identical to mine.
"...Hey, don't tell me..."
The fog vanished. Standing before me was myself.
A cold face, sharp gaze, deadly aura. Not my otaku self, but the ideal S-Rank Hunter version: perfect, disciplined, flawless.
The cube spoke. "The Trial begins. Defeat… yourself."
I slapped my forehead. "...Seriously? How cliché. This is exactly like the Shadow Ninja Chronicles episode 58, where the protagonist has to fight his dark version. The difference is, the dark version is usually cooler and has a more epic OST."
But… oh man. I have to admit, seeing myself with that super-cool face makes me feel a bit inferior. Especially since I know the original me is more likely to stay up all night binging romance anime than doing physical training.
My clone raised its sword. Its gaze was full of contempt. "You… are just a clown. You are a disgrace."
I pointed at him. "Hey, hey, don't steal dialogue from the donghua Peerless Cultivator of Ten Universes. You don't even have a long beard!"
My clone didn't reply. It instantly rushed forward.
Swosh!
Its sword struck at high speed. I was forced to roll to the side.
Bam!
The floor cracked.
I clicked my tongue. "Okay, this isn't a cheap cosplay. It can actually kill me."
The cube commented flatly. "Probability of survival: 34%."
I turned my head. "Hey, don't be a commentator! Do you think this is a Hunter Got Talent show?!"
Swosh!
My clone's sword swung so fast my eyes could barely follow. I parried with [Nightfang], but...
CLAAAANG!
My body was flung backward, hitting the wall.
Bam!
"Agh! Seriously, it's so strong! This isn't a shadow; it's literally an OP patch note version of myself!"
The clone stared at me coldly. "An S-Rank Hunter should not be careless. You are merely a loser who happens to possess power."
I snorted. "Heh, so you're the straight-laced protagonist version, huh? The serious type who doesn't like fanservice and always succeeds in saving everyone? Cuih. Boring."
Swosh!
It rushed again. This time its sword glowed with a very familiar skill.
"[Phantom Mirage]"
Three illusionary clones appeared simultaneously, all attacking from different directions.
"...Hey, don't steal my move!"
I was forced to jump backward.
Whoooosh!
Clang! Clang! Clang!
The shadows slashed relentlessly, keeping me busy parrying. My breathing started to get heavy.
Okay, so it can use all my skills, but with no delay, no wrong input. Damn, this is really like fighting a "tryhard player" using an aim assist cheat.
Ding!
[System Notification: ERROR – Balance Disrupted. Applying Random Modifier…]
[Debuff Applied: Slippery Hands. Weapon grip reduced by 50%.]
I glared. "WHAT?! Seriously, system?! Instead of helping, you give me a debuff like a joke game!"
And true to its word, my sword almost slipped when parrying the next slash.
CLAAANG!
Cling!
I backed away, swearing. "Good grief… I'm like the protagonist of the donghua parody Sword Emperor But Hands Are Sweaty. Next thing you know, a Chinese rap soundtrack will start playing."
The clone slashed again. I jumped to the side, narrowly avoiding being cut in half.
Okay, if I use standard skills, I'll definitely lose. I have to… yeah, think like an otaku maniac.
I activated a skill. "[Shadow Step]"
Swosh!
I appeared behind the clone, slashing its back. But...
CLANG!
It turned as fast as lightning, parrying perfectly.
"Heh," it said flatly, "you cannot defeat yourself."
I gritted my teeth. "...You're right. But you forgot one thing."
I'm not just an S-Rank Hunter. I'm a GOD-Rank Otaku.
I threw my sword into the air. "Skill… free-form improvisation!"
Ding!
[ERROR: Undefined Action Detected.]
[Random Skill Unlocked: Thousand Slap Barrage.]
"...Thousand what?"
Suddenly, my hands moved on their own, slapping the clone repeatedly.
Paf! Paf! Paf! Paf! Paf!
The sound was loud, repetitive. My clone didn't even have time to parry, its face being hit by hundreds of lightning-fast slaps.
PAFPAFPAFPAFPAFPAFPAF!
I screamed while laughing. "This… this is insane! I'm like a parody character, Great Teacher Palm-sensei! Hahaha!"
The clone staggered, its aura flickering.
I jumped back, catching my falling sword. "Heh. You're right, I can't defeat you as a Hunter. But I can defeat you as a clown!"
Swosh!
I slashed, this time my sword shining.
"[Moon Fang Slash]!!"
Zwaaaaash!
The moonlit slash hit my clone, splitting it in half. Its body slowly disintegrated into particles of light.
Shiiing…
The arena fell silent again.
Ding!
[Quest Updated: Trial Cleared.]
[Reward: Unique Skill Acquired – Parody Breaker.]
[Effect: Occasionally converts serious skill into ridiculous gag skill. Success Rate: ???]
I stared blankly. "...So the reward is a parody skill? What the hell is this? I'm going to be a walking meme!"
But… somehow, I like it. With this skill, I can ruin the enemy's serious moments anytime. Haha, how wonderful life is!
The hologram cube spoke again. "Trial complete. Player will be returned to the main world in 3… 2… 1…"
White light enveloped me once more.
The white light slowly faded. My body felt light, as if I was thrown out of a bottomless vortex. Nausea still stabbed at my stomach, but I could finally feel solid ground under my feet.
Hhh… finally back. I almost ended up as a side character who died because of a bug. Seriously, if this were a game, the developers would be flooded with one-star reviews on the forums.
"Reginald-sama!" a sharp voice broke my reverie.
I turned and found Marian running towards me. Her wide green eyes were teary, her face pale as if she had just lost half her soul. Her long skirt swirled hurriedly as she nearly bumped into me.
"Thank goodness you're back!" she exclaimed, instantly hugging my arm.
I was stunned.
Whoa, whoa, hold up! Affection point +20 instantly? This is like entering the cheat code "UpUpDownDownLeftRightBA" in the real world!
Thump thump
I clearly felt her heartbeat pressing against my arm. This girl was truly terrified of losing me.
"Relax, I was just… sucked into some kind of strange space. A secret dungeon, perhaps." I tried to keep my voice cool, even though inside I was screaming with delight.
Marian held on tighter. "I thought… I thought you weren't coming back…"
Good grief, this is the otome game heroine who's supposed to fall for the protagonist? Oh no, oh yes, I like the way this is going.
[DING!]
System Notification
Trial Completed.
Reward Acquired: [Phantom Core Shard].
Skill Unlocked: [Bugged Mirror Reflection Lv. ???]
Warning: Effect unstable.
I froze.
Bugged Mirror Reflection? Lv. Three question marks? So this is like a shounen anime character being given a super OP secret technique, but the instruction manual is written in alien language? Damn, this could either be incredibly cool or make me explode like a potato laptop forced to run an AAA game.
"Reginald-sama? Is something wrong?" Marian asked innocently, her face so close I could count her eyelashes.
"No… just a little system update." I raised a hand as if it were a common occurrence. "Consider it… leveling up."
I tried to focus on my new skill bar. And there, for some reason, the icon for the [Bugged Mirror Reflection] skill was shaped like a cracked mirror with a chibi anime character sticker that looked exactly like Narutaro Shippunde, who likes to use shadow clone techniques.
Okay, this is definitely a parody. I have to remember: don't accidentally mention the real name, or I might get a copyright strike from the sky.
Suddenly, the air around me trembled.
Whoooom
From a distance, the silhouette of a young man with shimmering blonde hair appeared. A white-gold aura enveloped him, and he stood with the confidence of a hero written to be perfect.
Marian immediately gasped. "That's… that's Lord Alfonse!"
I narrowed my eyes.
So he finally appears, the original protagonist of this world. Complete with the golden boy aura, handsome face, and standard pose straight off a light novel cover. Seriously, why does this game always give the spotlight to an ikemen type like him?
Alfonse stepped forward, looking directly at me with a challenging stare.
"Who are you… and why are you by Marian's side?" his voice was deep, yet full of authority.
I let out a small snort.
Cliffhanger detected. Player 2 has entered the game. Well then, let's see who the true protagonist in this world will be.