The next day.
When Kevin Ding walked into UCLA's basketball practice facility at 9 a.m. to track and record Snoopy's latest physical data, a drenched-in-sweat Snoopy was sitting courtside reading a newspaper. On the floor next to him lay two gasping strong men, head trainer Leon Bob and his assistant Paul Venn.
At 6 a.m., Leon Bob received a call from Snoopy. By the time he arrived at the gym at 6:27, Snoopy had already completed 17 sets of free-throw drills.
Leon Bob then began arranging a new training regimen for Snoopy. He tied a resistance band around Snoopy, and the other end to himself, having Snoopy do tug-of-war style sprint training.
Half an hour later, he realized he was digging his own grave, so he made Paul Venn take his place.
But Paul didn't last even an hour.
Seeing Paul's hopeless eyes, Leon Bob announced solemnly that the training session was over.
But Snoopy told him the opposite, that the training was excellent, that it allowed him to better use his full-body strength, and that it was great for improving coordination.
So…
By 8:40, both men collapsed on the floor with no strength left.
Leon Bob swore this was the stupidest training idea he had ever come up with.
Paul Venn, lying nearby, told him, "You should feel lucky. If it weren't for my habit of subscribing to the morning paper, we'd still be on the court being dragged around like weighted tires."
When Kevin Ding approached, he found Snoopy reading an article he had written.
"...Just five hours ago, Snoopy once again created an epic miracle, he led the Bruins to eliminate the visiting Memphis Tigers in the national semifinals."
"When Derrick Rose drove to the basket in the final moment, most of the crowd at the Staples Center let out a helpless sigh. But three seconds later, that sigh turned into a victorious roar.
Snoopy ended the projected No. 1 pick's attempt at a game-winner with a block that shook the heavens. Rose, who had put up 26 points, 6 assists, and 4 rebounds, could only leave with a loss and the end of his college career."
"In that game, Snoopy finished with 8 points, 9 rebounds, and 4 blocks, and also received two kisses from Disney's young princess. A very well-rounded stat line…"
Seeing this, Kevin Ding smiled proudly, unable to stop thinking: I really am both funny and talented.
The next second, his smile froze, Snoopy's eyes were locked on him.
"Kevin, are you sure you're a basketball reporter?"
As he spoke, Snoopy pulled out another paper, The Hollywood Daily Observer. The front-page, full-color headline was a photo of Miley Cyrus squatting down and kissing Snoopy.
"I can call this paper right now and have them hire you at a high salary."
Kevin laughed awkwardly, then quickly straightened his tone:
"Don't be so serious, Snoopy. This isn't a bad thing. Even professional media like ESPN and TNT included the kissing story in their coverage of the game. It's part of the event. Fans love these off-court bits."
"As a business school graduate, you should know how much positive exposure this brings you. Every product needs uniqueness, and every public figure needs a memorable highlight. Blocking the No. 1 pick, that's memorable. Being the only player kissed twice by a Disney star on the court, also memorable. There's no 'better or worse' between the two."
From a media communications standpoint, Kevin's point was valid.
But Snoopy didn't like it. He responded seriously:
"Miley Cyrus is not my girlfriend, even if she's kissed me three times. She's only a collaborator. She bought a song from me and did a duet with me. That's all. We're not even friends."
"Whaaaat!"
Kevin exclaimed, "That's breaking news! You two recorded a duet? Was it the song you performed at that party?"
Kevin's off-topic excitement made Snoopy throw up his hands helplessly.
"I've realized becoming friends with a reporter is the dumbest decision I've ever made."
"Snoopy, don't doubt our friendship," Kevin quickly said. "I haven't been slacking. I dug up a bombshell for you, Adidas is planning to sign you. They'll officially approach you after the championship."
"Adidas?"
Snoopy raised an eyebrow, then relaxed again.
"I don't have any faith in these big international brands. They won't offer me anything high. Do you know what Michael Jordan offered me last time? Two hundred thousand dollars."
Kevin clicked his tongue.
"That's absurd. Does Michael Jordan think people don't read gossip news? Back in the day, he spent more than that in one night at the Atlanta Gold Club. What, are you cheaper than the escorts he..."
If looks could kill, Snoopy would have reduced Kevin to ashes on the spot.
"Okay, let's test your baseline numbers. The readers of the Orange County Chronicle are getting impatient."
Kevin hurried to change the subject.
But Snoopy didn't let him off that easily. He told Leon Bob:
"I still need five more sets of weighted sprints, and Kevin wants to experience this training intensity himself so he can write more authentic, professional basketball coverage. So… tie the resistance band to him."
The lifeless Leon Bob sprang up immediately. Assistant Paul Venn beamed.
Moments later, the gym echoed with Kevin Ding's screams. At first, his 89-kg frame offered some resistance. But soon… he was just being dragged, crying miserably.
He apologized to Snoopy eleven times, sincerely, within half an hour.
But Snoopy didn't release him until all players and coaches arrived and took photos for memories.
"If you dare talk nonsense again, I'll post these photos in the Orange County Chronicle comment section. I'm sure everyone would love to see how your tongue fell to the floor."
Kevin looked utterly defeated and swore he'd never buy another Jordan-brand product again.
After the fooling around, Snoopy began the physical assessment tests.
The core numbers didn't change much.
However, his lateral movement and short-burst sprint speed had increased to Westbrook-level, even slightly better.
But his ¾-court sprint test still required 4.2 seconds, not great, around team average.
During the test, Snoopy noticed he was faster in the first half, but fell back into his old rhythm in the second half.
Also, his ball-handling hadn't improved, nor had his coordination noticeably increased.
But… his defensive coverage now fully spanned the paint, and even a step beyond.
"This is a tremendous improvement," Ben Howland praised.
But Snoopy wasn't as excited as he thought he'd be, after all, his goal was to become a point guard!