Zhang Wei sat cross-legged in the courtyard, the afternoon mist curling like incense around him. His eyes gleamed with excitement, his posture straightened as if he were already a venerable sage awaiting enlightenment.
"Speak away, my dear system," he said with mock gravity. "I, your humble host, am ready to receive the wisdom of the heavens."
[Very well. Listen carefully. I will not repeat myself unnecessarily.]
The mechanical voice reverberated in his mind, steady and precise, like the tolling of a celestial bell.
[In the vast multiverse of Jiǔxiāo, cultivation is not merely a pursuit of power. It is the law of existence itself, the foundation on which every world, every star, every life is balanced. To cultivate is to ascend. To stagnate is to vanish.]
Zhang Wei nodded solemnly, his expression carved with fake reverence. Inwardly, he was still thinking about how cool it would be to name a technique Heaven-Piercing Butt Slam.
[The journey begins in the Mortal Realm, where billions strive to awaken their flesh and nurture their qi. Spirit Foundation cultivators are pillars of dynasties, while Skybridge Crossing experts rule continents and live for centuries. Beyond them lies the Transcendent Realm. Here, Law Comprehension cultivators command the elements and concepts themselves. Fire, time, chaos are mere tools in their grasp. Void Shattering paragons carve dimensions from nothing. Eclipse Sovereigns merge with stars, their bodies radiating enough heat to incinerate planets.]
The words painted galaxies across his imagination, but Zhang Wei's eyes glazed over. His head bobbed as though he were deeply enlightened, though in truth he had stopped listening three sentences ago.
[Host. Are you paying attention?]
"Yes, yes," Zhang Wei said quickly, sitting a little straighter. "Every word is etched upon my soul."
[…I can detect your shallow brain activity. You absorbed nothing.]
Zhang Wei coughed into his fist, pretending dignity. "Ah, no, no, I understand perfectly. Totally clear. Please, continue."
[Hmph.]
The system pressed on, its tone cooling into mechanical detachment.
[Above the Transcendent Realm is the Celestial Realm. Starforge Monarchs birth suns, Abyssal Unbound harvest the energy of dying universes, and Primordial Sovereigns rewrite reality itself, erasing concepts such as 'death' or 'gravity' at will. Yet beyond even them lies the Omniverse Ascendant layer, where existence splinters into infinite timelines. Each step risks dissolution into the Eternal Paradox.]
Zhang Wei's eyes widened at the grandiosity of it all, though the awe quickly gave way to a mischievous thought. "If I reach that level, can I… erase debt collectors from existence?"
Silence.
Then, a tired electronic sigh.
[Do you truly think this is a jest?]
Zhang Wei rubbed his nose sheepishly. "Of course not. I was… contemplating profound applications."
[Hmph.]
The system continued without humor.
[Understand this, Host. Cultivation is not merely strength. It is economy, politics, and survival. Spirit Stones form the backbone of wealth. Mortal sects squabble over mines and relics. Transcendent dynasties battle in pocket realms to preserve their worlds. Celestial cartels trade entire star systems. And in the shadows, Silent Arbiters, rumored Sovereigns erase civilizations that disrupt the cosmic balance.]
[And every step demands tribulation. Lightning that sears souls. Fires that burn identities. Waves of entropy that consume timelines. Most fail. Some become Wailing Specters. Others turn into Lawbreakers whose failed edicts poison entire regions of space. The ladder to infinity is paved with corpses. To climb it is salvation. To falter is damnation.]
The final words echoed like the toll of a funeral bell, majestic and terrifying.
Zhang Wei blinked slowly. "Wow." He scratched his head, then grinned. "That was… very profound. Far too profound for me, a mere mortal, to comprehend. Truly, your wisdom humbles me."
[That was not wisdom. That was general knowledge. Even toddlers in this world can recite it by heart.]
Zhang Wei's grin stiffened. "Ah… well… one must not compare the intelligence of one soul to another. That would be unfair." He crossed his arms like a scholar making a grand point.
[Or perhaps you are simply incompetent.]
He waved his hand, feigning offense. "You wound me, dear system. I was merely testing your patience. A little jest to… break the ice."
[There is no point in explaining how I operate if you are unwilling to listen. Why waste my effort?]
The smug mask melted from Zhang Wei's face. He leaned forward, eyes wide with panic. "No, no, wait! I was listening! Truly! I'll pay attention this time. I swear it."
[Hmph. I hope so.]
The blue screen dimmed slightly, as though the system itself had grown weary.
Zhang Wei, however, only smiled sheepishly. He leaned forward like a disciple awaiting a master's decree. The mist thickened in the courtyard, and the blue panel of light shimmered with quiet authority.
[Host, now that you have been adequately briefed on the structure of this world, it is time to explain how I, the Supreme Hermit System, function.]
Zhang Wei straightened his back and clasped his hands as though he were an elder scholar. "Ah, finally. The great secrets revealed! I was wondering when you'd tell me how I get to my destined path of power."
[Do not interrupt.]
He shut his mouth immediately, though his eyes gleamed with anticipation.
[As my name implies, I am a system of hermitage. My purpose is seclusion. You, Zhang Wei, will cultivate not by adventuring, nor by fighting, nor by chasing celestial beauties, but by isolation. Your task is to remain within this courtyard, and only within this courtyard, until the conditions of ascension are fulfilled.]
Zhang Wei blinked. "Wait. Hold on. Don't tell me…" His voice cracked slightly. "Are you saying I get stronger just by sitting here?"
[Correct. Seclusion is the path. The longer you endure, the greater the rewards.]
For a moment, his eyes sparkled with joy. "So… I don't need to fight young masters, or get beaten up in public, or stumble into jade-skinned maidens bathing in rivers?"
[Correct. You will do none of those things.]
Zhang Wei exhaled in relief. "Oh, thank heaven. Finally, a system with some decency."
[However.]
The tone of that single word made him freeze.
[There are conditions. Core mechanics of your confinement will now be explained.]
He gulped.
[First, Indestructible Courtyard: This residence is eternal. Even a universe-shattering attack will bounce harmlessly off its walls.]
Zhang Wei beamed. "Perfect! I'm basically immortal! Let them bring their galaxy-busting cannons, I'll be here sipping tea!"
[Second, Mandatory Seclusion: You cannot leave this courtyard until you reach the Great Perfection Realm.]
His smile faltered. "…How long will that take?"
[Approximately ten thousand years.]
The words struck like a thunderclap. Zhang Wei shot to his feet. "Ten… TEN THOUSAND YEARS? Are you insane? I'll lose my mind in one hundred! I'll be talking to the broom by year two!"
[Do not worry. You will indeed be talking to the broom. It is self-repairing and partially sentient. Consider it companionship.]
Zhang Wei clutched his chest. "That wasn't comfort! That was a threat!"
[Sit down and listen. Interruptions delay explanations.]
He slumped back onto the mat, muttering. "Fine. But this had better involve snacks."
The system ignored him.
[Rewards for compliance are tiered. Daily rewards include basic necessities: rice, water, bland congee that never spoils. In addition, trivial tools such as a Self-Repairing Broom and an Eternal Candle that emits rooster-shaped shadows.]
Zhang Wei raised an eyebrow. "Congee? Every day? For ten thousand years? My taste buds will ascend before I do."
[That is an unfounded complaint. You ate instant noodles exclusively for five years in your previous world.]
He winced. "…That was different. They had flavors."
[Monthly rewards include low-grade aids such as Flatulence Purge Pellets, Sleepless Night Pills, and novelty items like the Illusionary Mirror, which reflects your face with progressively ridiculous hairstyles.]
Zhang Wei burst out laughing. "Ridiculous hairstyles? So… like what? A bald patch shaped like a heart?"
[Possibly. Or pigtails. Or something worse. You will see.]
He groaned. "You're going to humiliate me into enlightenment, aren't you?"
[Correct.]
The list marched on with mechanical precision.
[Yearly rewards include minor power-ups. For example: passive physique enhancements such as resistance to mosquitoes, or the Silent Scream Technique, allowing you to shout without making noise.]
Zhang Wei buried his face in his hands. "So basically, I'm becoming the patron saint of introverts."
[Yes. And that is merely the beginning. At milestones you will receive more… distinctive rewards. At one hundred years, you will gain a rooster companion named Master Cluck, who will critique your posture and laziness. At five hundred years, a Hermit's Gacha Machine with a ninety percent chance of junk. At one thousand, your courtyard expands by one square meter and gains koi fish that will judge you.]
Zhang Wei slammed his palm on the floor. "One square meter after a thousand years? Even landlords are more generous!"
[Do not insult the system of fairness. At five thousand years, you will obtain a Divine Naptime Quilt, allowing you to absorb Qi while sleeping.]
Zhang Wei's face softened. "…Okay, that one sounds kind of nice."
[At ten thousand years, you unlock the Great Perfection Realm itself. Supreme cultivation power shall be yours.]
He sagged forward. "At the cost of every ounce of my sanity."
[Correct.]
Zhang Wei groaned like a man condemned. "What if I just… leave early? Surely you can't stop me."
The panel pulsed ominously.
[Penalties for escape attempts are as follows.]
He sat up quickly. "Wait, penalties?!"
[First attempt: crotch lightning.]
Zhang Wei's jaw dropped. "Crotch… what now?"
[A non-lethal bolt strikes the groin, leaving you twitching for hours.]
He covered himself instinctively. "That's cruel and unusual punishment!"
[Second attempt: crotch lightning.]
His face twisted. "You repeat it?!"
[Yes. Repetition ensures compliance.]
He whimpered. "I don't like where this is going."
[Third attempt: Hut Haunting. Your pots, pans, and broom animate to chase and scold you.]
Zhang Wei pictured being beaten with a ladle while a broom shouted insults. "…That's somehow worse."
[Fifth attempt: DoppelHermit. A clone of you will appear outside, loudly announcing humiliating secrets to the world.]
Zhang Wei turned pale. "Like what secrets?"
[For example: 'I still wet the bed at three hundred years old.']
"WHAT? That hasn't even happened yet!"
[It will.]
His voice cracked into despair. "This system is going to kill me before the ten thousand years does!"
[Do not interrupt. Tenth attempt: Courtyard Migration. The hut will sprout legs and relocate to increasingly remote places. Progress will reset.]
Zhang Wei's mouth opened, then closed. Finally, he whispered, "You mean my house will just… walk away?"
[Correct.]
"…This isn't a cultivation system. This is prison with extra steps."
[Persistent rebellion will result in Qi Blockade. Your cultivation will be sealed. You will age rapidly until you apologize.]
Zhang Wei collapsed backward, staring at the sky in defeat. "Ten thousand years… I'm doomed."
[Yes. But also destined.]
The blue screen dimmed to a soft glow, its voice as steady as ever.
[Now that you understand the rules, the true path begins. Endure, host. Endure, and you may yet ascend.]
Zhang Wei, however, lay on the ground like a fish out of water. "I'm going to start talking to the broom in about five minutes."
[Then at least practice good posture when you do. Master Cluck will not tolerate slouching.]
The system's voice faded, leaving Zhang Wei in silence. The courtyard felt colder than before, the mist heavier.
Ten thousand years.
He closed his eyes. He could already feel the madness creeping in.