The tall streetlights, sparsely scattered along the road, stood at a distance from one another, emitting faint glows as they struggled to illuminate the dark night street. The light spilling out from the convenience store window also lit up the street and the table where I was sitting.
Thanks to that, I could see the unfamiliar eyes of an unknown face staring back at me from the phone the girl had propped up on the table.
"Look! You saw your face, right, oppa? Even you can tell you don't look Korean, don't you?"
I thought she might be messing with me, maybe using some kind of filter app, but those unfamiliar eyes followed mine with terrifying precision as I moved my gaze. As I stared blankly at the face reflected in the camera, the girl in front of me urged me on.
"Why are you staring at your face like it's the first time you've seen it? *Giggle.* Do you think you look that pretty?"
It was the first time.
"Ugh, seriously! Stop spacing out and say something already. So, which one of your parents is Korean? I'm suddenly super curious."
"Both of them are Korean," I said. "Don't drag my parents into your stupid prank. It's not funny. Please, just stop joking around."
I desperately tried to deny it, but I could feel the corners of her playful smirk chiseling away at the shell I was clinging to, as if urging me to just accept it already.
"Are you suddenly drunk or something? Who drinks like that? Don't you care about your health… oppa? Are you okay?"
She noticed me staring blankly at her phone, opened her red lips, and asked with concern.
Maybe I knew from the start.
The original "Ryu Sehwa" was gone, replaced by something unfamiliar.
The face staring back at me from that small screen wasn't some filter or a stupid prank she was pulling. I didn't want to admit it, but the truth forced its way into my mind.
That was me. And with it came all the strange things I'd brushed off as crazy. The compliments about a tattoo I'd never gotten. People mistaking me for a foreigner and speaking to me. A language I'd never spoken before flowing effortlessly from my mouth.
All the things I thought were insane weren't because they were crazy it was because they were describing exactly what they saw.
I didn't know where the real "Ryu Sehwa" had gone, but they shouldn't have disappeared like this in an instant. I still had things I needed to do. Things this fake "Ryu Sehwa" couldn't do.
I didn't ask for much. I just wanted to beg a god I didn't even believe in to let me have my real face back, even just once, when I needed it.
My vision started to blur. My body wouldn't listen to my pleas to calm down. My trembling hands pushed me up from the chair, which screeched loudly as it slid back.
*Scrrreech! Clunk!*
As soon as I stood, the alcohol I'd drunk hit me all at once, and my mind went blank. I had to get home. Somehow, I just had to get home.
The only thought in my head, clouded by the drunken haze, was that I couldn't think of any other way to deal with this. As I turned and took a step forward, my legs gave out, and I nearly fell. The girl behind me rushed to help.
"Oppa, that's dangerous! I don't know where you're going, but let me help you—"
"No… don't you dare touch me. I'll kill you if you do."
I growled like a wild animal, and, leaving her startled by my words, I staggered away, my shaky steps carrying me into the dark alley where her gaze could no longer follow.
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Mina, who had been studying every day for her midterms in June, had once again become a ghost tethered to her desk. When her phone alarm signaled 11 p.m., she stood from her chair, stretched, and headed to the fridge to grab a coffee to keep studying into the early hours.
When she opened the fridge, all she saw were side dishes like kimchi pickles her mom had left for her. No coffee in sight.
"Why'd she leave so much again… I'm already so busy," Mina muttered. "Hmm, but where's the coffee? Oh, this might be a problem."
Mina felt a pang of guilt that her already busy mom had taken the time to prepare food for her. To lighten her mood, she cracked a joke to herself.
"No coffee, and this body will just pass out while studying. All it's good for is being pretty and tall. *Giggle.* Oh, I should go buy some coffee."
Humming a tune, Mina slipped into an oversized hoodie from a hanger on the wall, still in her underwear, and pulled on her favorite pajama pants from the bed. If she put on the hood, then…
"Alright, convenience store look complete."
Grabbing her wallet, Mina stepped out of the house, enjoying the cool summer night air as she walked to the nearby convenience store to buy coffee. The path was quiet, and as she passed illegally parked cars, she took off her hood to gaze at the moon in the sky. The yellow moonlight sparkled beautifully, filling her heart. For a moment, the moon seemed to pull her away from reality.
"The vibe outside is so nice tonight… I'm glad I came out."
Healing her worn-out mind from long hours of studying, Mina hummed again as she neared the convenience store.
"What kind of coffee should I get today? Caramel? Americano? Hmm, tough choice… huh?"
Mina stopped short when she spotted a man sitting alone at a table outside the convenience store. His broad back and perfectly squared shoulders caught her eye they were strikingly handsome from behind.
Mina thought that if other girls saw his back, they'd probably freak out over how good it looked. Some might even get so worked up they'd need to change their underwear. But Mina herself wasn't all that interested in his chiseled shoulders. She was just curious why a guy was sitting alone so pitifully at a convenience store table late at night. She started walking again to get a better look.
When she got close enough, she saw him smoking, and a slight wave of disgust hit her. Mina hated men who smoked. Her father, who'd hurt her, smoked, and so did most of the sleazy guys she'd met. She only liked obedient, kind men nobody else. Even when guys tried to hit on her because of her looks, she brushed them all off.
The obedient, kind guys, though, were too scared to approach her, so she was still a virgin. At an age where most would be driven by desire, Mina wasn't particularly interested. She was a rare type. Still, seeing the smoking man soured her mood, and in a fit of irritation, she walked up behind him, put a hand on his shoulder, and called out to him in a slightly provocative tone. She wanted to see him drop his cigarette in surprise. But she regretted it almost immediately.
"Ugh, why did I just grab a random guy's shoulder and scare him like that? I didn't mean to be that mean…"
Before she could apologize for her impulsive mistake, something unexpected happened, and she froze with her hand still on his shoulder.
"Huh? He's not even flinching?"
Normally, a guy would've jumped like a startled frog, but this one didn't budge, sitting there calmly. Intrigued, Mina asked to join him, and he nodded in agreement. Suddenly, as if it just occurred to him, he asked, "You're not a minor, are you?"
He said he didn't want to put out his cigarette if she was. What an interesting guy kind, maybe? Though he looked like he could pass for a minor himself. Mina, a diligent high school student preparing for midterms, sat down across from him and showed him the cigarette she secretly smoked behind her mom's back. She flinched at his words but played it cool, lying smoothly as she got a good look at his face and quietly marveled.
Black hair, pale skin, and golden eyes. A face that seemed to blend East and West. He definitely looked mixed-race, and even Mina, with her high standards, had to admit he was stunning. But the tattoo under his eyes killed any admiration she might've had. A club-going, party-animal type? No matter how handsome, that was a hard pass.
Still, she figured plenty of girls would go crazy if he so much as winked at them. How many "fish" were swimming in that guy's vast "pond"?
Feeling a bit grateful that he didn't make a fuss about her touching him, Mina asked what he was doing out here so late. His response shocked her. He started speaking in Korean but then suddenly switched to Russian.
Mina's face was mostly hidden by her hood, so even if he'd seen her and thought she looked mixed-race, it was strange that he'd spoken to her in Russian, of all languages.
(Is he Russian mixed-race like me?) He did look like it, and meeting someone like her made her excited. She started chatting with him and quickly asked, "How did you know I speak Russian?"
"…You're quite the talent," he replied, sounding a bit annoyed, like she was being a nuisance.
But Mina didn't care. She admitted she was mixed-race and asked which of his parents was Korean, hoping he'd be just as excited to meet another mixed-race person.
Instead, he jokingly insisted he was "pure Korean." At first, it was funny, but as he kept doubling down, Mina's competitive streak kicked in. She pulled out her phone, switched to selfie mode, and showed him his own face, pressing him to admit he wasn't fully Korean. She wanted him to surrender and say, "Alright, I'm like you."
But instead of responding, he stared at his face like he was possessed, then suddenly bolted up and stumbled off somewhere. Worried he might fall, Mina tried to help, but he snapped at her with sharp, fearful words, rejecting her help. Then he vanished into the dark alley.
Stunned by the sudden turn of events, Mina sat there in a daze for a while, forgetting to even buy her coffee. It wasn't until she got home that she realized it, and that night, she gave up on studying altogether.
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The street looked chaotic with cars parked haphazardly along the road. The villas around were dark, as if everyone was asleep, and only the sparse streetlights, standing at a distance from one another, faintly lit the darkened surroundings.
Walking down the middle of the quiet residential street, I dodged sudden road signs and parked cars. Stumbling like I might collapse at any moment, I must've looked like a textbook drunk.
Thankfully, the convenience store was only a few minutes from my place. I made it to my building without running into anyone, which I was grateful for.
Normally, no matter how drunk I was, I was confident I could whip out my sharp "teeth" to protect myself. But tonight? I felt like a hedgehog. Not the kind with sharp spines sticking out, but one flipped over, exposing its soft underbelly. A hedgehog without its protective spines, I felt fear. The unfamiliar sensation that someone could hurt me made me uneasy. Scared that someone might see me like this, I hurriedly climbed the stairs to my small studio apartment, my trembling hands punching in the door code before slamming it shut behind me.
As soon as I stepped inside, the tension left me, and the alcohol took over. My body felt like it would collapse any second as I dragged myself to the bed. I didn't want to look in a mirror. I don't know why.
Hoping this was all just a midsummer night's dream, I stripped off my sweat-soaked tank top and shirt and collapsed onto the bed.
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Translated by Reversalmanhwa.web.id
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