Confession
The next morning,
Allen slowly opened his eyes and realized he was lying on a bed, cradled gently in Stephan's arms, sleeping like a baby. Relief washed over him as he quickly checked his clothes—everything was perfectly in place, just as it should be.
Stirring beside him, Stephan also woke, a soft smile playing on his lips.
"Good morning," he murmured.
"Goo… morning?" Allen replied, blinking around the unfamiliar room.
"…Where are we?"
Stephan's voice was soft, almost teasing, yet carried an undeniable sincerity. "You fell asleep crying… you must have been exhausted. That's why I brought you here. My house. "
" Did I do the right thing?"
Allen blinked, still a little out of it, and nodded. "Yeah… it's...fine."
He tried to rise, eager to leave, but Stephan gently held him back, pulling him close again. His gaze locked onto Allen's.
"Allen… by now, you must have realized, haven't you?"
Allen hesitated, "Realized… what?"
A slow, knowing smile curved Stephan's lips. "I know," he said softly. "You're smart. Really really smart. By now, you must understand… I don't just want to be your friend. I want something more… with you."
Allen quickly put a hand over Stephan's mouth, and in panic. "N-No… don't say it!"
"Stephan, you're the first person I've ever been this open with," Allen said, his voice shaking. "Let's just keep this as a friendship… don't complicate things. Otherwise… who knows what we might become?" He tried to reason, his words faltering.
Stephan held him steady, "I'm sorry… but I can't keep my feelings locked away any longer."
"I'm human too, you know!" he shot back, a mix of frustration and helplessness in his voice.
Stephan leaned closer, his eyes soft but intense. "I've been trying to tell you my feelings for so long. Don't make me wait any longer… please, let me speak what's in my heart."
"No!" Allen tried to stop him, but Stephan gently cupped his face with both hands, guiding him to look into his eyes, deeply. With unwavering sincerity, Stephan finally confessed:
"I love you, Allen. I really, really love you. I want you, completely."
Allen froze, caught between fear and awe, unsure of what to do. He instinctively shut his eyes, bracing for what might come next. But instead of a forceful kiss, Stephan pressed a soft, warm kiss to his forehead, a gentle reassurance that made Allen's chest tighten with even more emotions.
Opening his eyes, Allen saw the calm, tender smile on Stephan's face.
"How could you even think I'd ever force anything on you?" Stephan whispered, his voice full of care. "I love you, Allen—purely, and always with respect."
"I love you, Allen," he repeated, letting the words linger in the quiet intimacy between them.
Allen felt completely disoriented, unsure of what to do next. In a panic, he yanked his body free and bolted for the door, desperate to escape. Just as he was about to run outside, Stephan's mother appeared in the hallway.
"Oh… Allen," she said warmly, her eyes lighting up. "You're awake! Are you feeling alright? You look in hurry?"
Caught off guard, Allen froze, unsure how to respond. Just then, Stephan appeared and gently introduced Allen to his mother. Her kindness was immediate, she spoke to him with genuine warmth, even inviting him to join them for breakfast. Allen tried to politely refuse, but with Stephan and his mother encouraging him, he finally relented.
Soon, the rest of Stephan's family arrived, his father and older sister, and Allen realized he couldn't turn them down either.
Gradually, he allowed himself to a little relax, letting their welcoming presence wash over him. Nervous yet comforted, Allen felt a strange sense of belonging he hadn't expected, suddenly.
Finally, Allen settled down to have breakfast with Stephan's family. Now he had already taken a shower and put on some of Stephan's spare clothes. Even though he was still avoiding eye contact with Stephan, Allen found himself engaging politely with the family, who welcomed him warmly. Deep down, he realized he genuinely liked them.
•
•
•
In the days that followed, Allen tried his best to completely avoid Stephan. Every effort seemed futile. Stephan appeared several times in person, waiting outside Allen's classes, hallways, calls, video calls, but Allen kept finding ways to dodge him. He wanted to return to his normal life, yet it felt impossible. Allen even deleted all of Stephan's messages, attempting to cut ties and distract himself, but no matter what he did, Stephan lingered persistently in his thoughts and in reality.
No matter how many times he had been turned down, Stephan showed no sign of backing off. In fact, when friends or classmates asked about what was going on between him and Allen, he didn't even bother hiding why he was so devoted to Allen. Many people even started teasing him, calling him gay.
He had never openly admitted it before, was he in the closet? Some of the older folks made jokes about it, but Stephan didn't care one bit.
At a breaking point, Allen couldn't hold back any longer. He led Stephan to the far end of the campus, to the secluded lake at the edge of the same park, where they were completely alone.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" Allen shouted, his frustration echoing over the still water.
"Don't you get it? I don't like you!" he continued, his voice trembling.
"Then why are you always after me?!"
Stephan sank to his knees, his expression calm but filled with quiet intensity. "Because… I love you, Allen."
Allen's eyes widened, disbelief and anger flashing across his face. "Lies! You're lying! It's all lies, isn't it?!"
"No one truly cares about anyone in this world! Parents support their children only because, when they're old, they'll need someone to lean on. Children care for their parents… only because there's inheritance at stake. Brothers and sisters? They'll tear each other apart just to claim what's theirs. No one… no one is really there for you."
"And lovers… what do they even mean? Nothing! Just a game, a fleeting thrill. As soon as they've had their fun, they're done, gone the next day, leaving nothing behind! And you… you're going to do the same to me, aren't you? Use me, play with me, and then… just walk away?"
"I hate you! You played with my heart! Just… go away from me!"
Tears poured down his face, his emotions spilling over, raw and unfiltered. "I hate you!"
Stephan held him gently, steadying him with warmth and care. "But I love you, baby."
"I love you."
"Why?"
Allen's voice trembled, filled with confusion and hurt. " Just Why?!"
"I'm not even a girl! I don't have big breasts, big ass, I don't have a vagina… nothing to bear a child! So then… why?!" His chest ached with every word, the pain nearly unbearable.
Stephan held him tightly, "Because I fell in love with you… truly."
Allen's eyes searched his, trembling. "Really? You mean it? You won't betray me… will you?"
"Betrayal? Forget that," Stephan said firmly. "I could never even imagine hurting you. Never." His own emotions broke through, raw and tender, as he pulled Allen into a protective hug.
Allen finally let go of everything else he had been holding in, tears streaming freely as he whispered between sobs, "…then let's see… how long this so-called love of yours will last…"