Chapter Five: RETROSPECTIVE
"Perception trumps reality"
[four days prior]
4:13 PM (Hospital)
A hospital room bleached white, and a mother soaked in tears, and a daughter who had choked on blood.
tick
tick
A clock counting down like the tempo of a requiem,
Beep
Beep
Beep
A heart monitor
hk..
...why?...
hk
The flowing sobs of a kneeling mother, whose heart is collapsing.
This scene, its sadness, its pain, and its tragedy…It was all real to her…but so many would never experience this, let alone understand.
God is seeing it, she said, god surely understands, she said…But then…
"Why god? Why? Why didn't you protect her? It should've been me…kah…just take me"
The mother's own blood lay in front of her—Her own daughter lay in front of her.
KSSSH
KAA
KSSSH
KAA
She found no blame to place, no solace, and no peace. The only thing she did find was… her daughter…trapped in a cage of cable. Those cables were the only thing that kept the ventilator from taking her to the reaper.
She found her daughter's life so fragile that now all it took was a pair of scissors to cut her presence, to cut her red strings,
Her dearest wish was to hold her daughter in her embrace, but instead, what was offered was the chilling touch of the ventilator tubes being shoved down the throat of her only true love— her daughter. And her heart.
Knock
Knock
The cacophony of her suffering was met with the sound of a visitor at the door.
Kahh
Hm?
hk
Yes..Come in
The door creaked open, and the kneeling mother's teary eyes met with a doctor's furrowed and fragile gaze.
He began to speak, his mouth opened, but…
Doctor:..........
Not a single word could be said.
The doctor's feet started to step across the cold tile as the cold air entered his nose. He walked to the daughter's other side.
The mother's trembling, teary eyes watched this:
His cold fingers pressed the girl's eyelids open as his eyes looked at her pupils; nothing was moving.
His hands clenched the stethoscope and pressed it against her chest…
KSSSH
Kah
KSSSHH
Kah
The tubes were breathing.
His hand grasped her shoulder softly and slowly shook her, the only thing that moved was her hair, and the ventilator tubes around her..
His hand pulled out a needle, he gently laid his palm on her arm, and slowly pressed the frigid needle into her skin. No wince.
At the very least….she wasn't awake.
The mother's sobs intensified as she muffled them with the hospital bed. Her fingers lay on the daughter's wrist; she was feeling her pulse, that was the best of an embrace she could get right now.
All the doctor could see was a woman of cracked glass.
His feet slowly began to walk to the door, but he stopped next to the mother. He knelt and began to speak.
Doctor: "Ma'am, the MRI came back good. The aneurysm isn't going to rupture from what we can tell."
The mother's sobs only paused for a second before intensifying as she threw her head up. Her free hand wrapped around the doctor in a one-armed hug.
Hk
Hk
tha
thank you
His words gave her …『hope』
**************************************************************
10:00 PM Lotus Racing Head Office (Aerin's team)
The man at the head of the table held his head in his hands, and his leg was tapping violently. He was surely in a state of disarray. Behind him was a team insignia. The insignia was that of a white lotus blooming from a bird's eye view.
The man's lips part, with his head still in hand.
CEO: "We can't let it fall onto us. This team gives jobs to hundreds of people. It feeds at least hundreds of families. This team feeds my family. Just tell me something I can use to keep us together. My only job as the CEO is to keep us together, so help me do it."
The CEO's voice was not angry, or sad, or disappointed; rather, it was a whisper of pure dread. CEO's dread was the type that made your chest flush hollow in an instant..
???: "Sir, I do have something, but I have to warn you, it's pretty caustic, Sir."
The man who responded was an internal affairs worker for the company. His voice was not shaky; he spoke with pure professionalism. His plain face spoke to his feelings on this matter; the outcome did not matter to him.
CEO: "Speak."
???: "Yes, Sir. Sir, there were countless videos around the track from the camera and other various things."
The CEO's eyes narrowed, he raised his forehead from his hands, and looked at the worker with a grim expression.
CEO: "Yes, what of it?"
???: "Using the footage, we found he peaked at 271 miles per hour."
The CEO lurched out of his seat and slammed both hands on the table in what seemed like shock
CEO: "What!? Why would he ever go that fast?! He should've known better. What about the fire?"
???; "his speed seemed to cause the engine's pistons to explode, and eventually catch fire. It's likely the shrapnel hit a fuel line."
CEO: "shit…what about the girl?"
???: She's currently in the hospital, she's in critical care, her mother was at the race, she's uninjured, and her father was arrested a few days before the event."
CEO: "So she isn't dead. Thank god. Tell me who's at fault here?"
???: Sir, in all honesty, we are liable to an extent. We cut corners, removed safeguards from that car for the sake of the sport, but to a greater degree, the driver ignored all logic and safety, and drove his car while it was on fire. It is undoubtedly a failure caused by him."
CEO: "We must not let that information slip. Aerin is too valuable. We can't sell out the team either…shit"
His voice began to increase slightly
CEO: "What can I do!?"
His voice turned into a roar. As his fist balled under the desk
CEO: "WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!? LET US DROWN!?"
???: "We must not comment… officially"
The voice that chimed in this time was not the worker's, but rather a member of the board of directors.
CEO: "What are you sugg–"
Director: "Call it a strategic leak."
CEO: "god… dammit all…fuck"
Thunk
The ceo gently thrust his fist against the table, causing an audible thud on the wood.
CEO: "What kind of suggestion is that? You think I should betray the one good professional driver that has ever decided to work for this half assed team?"
The CEO's voice was clearly exhausted as he breathed deeply
Director: "There is plenty of new blood in the lower leagues; they'd jump at the chance to race for us. And think of the Jobs you'll keep providing for people. It is just one man versus hundreds."
The CEO took a long breath and an exhale twice as long. For a moment, the only thing in that office was complete deafening silence; it was as if life had been banished from the room. For what seemed like centuries, nothing was spoken. The CEO was pondering. He sat for an eternity.
Director: "Here we get to control the narrative, we get to fight another day, our workers get to eat another day. Do not let your ideals get in the way of hundreds of meals for our workers and their kids. If you side with him, you let the children of our workers starve. Is it worth it?
CEO: "Enough, let me think…"
Director: "Your position isn't solid, Chief. The board will undercut you. Do you want to make that impression? They could replace you."
CEO: "I said enough."
The CEO's heart was pounding, his leg was bouncing, and sweat was pouring down his face. It was clear that this man recognized he was facing a dilemma. His breath drew short, and his eyes became as sharp as a needle.
RING RING
???: "hello"
******************************************************
5:38-7:50 pm Hospital
The room was laden with frigid air.
The mother's goosebumps looked like mountain peaks.
Fingers on her beloved's wrist, she slept.
The sunset peeked through the blinds.
Its fingers of light crept through the room in streaks, warming the mother's heart— her daughter.
A heart cracked from grief.
A girl paralysed by the world
Eyes traced by dried tears— None left to cry
The Machine kept her alive
But the Machine kept her alone.
The girl didn't want to be alone.
She didn't want her mother to be alone.
Nor her brother nor her father.
The clock ticked
The machine breathed
She knew—She knew.
She pried, unconsciously, for hours, and she pried.
She tore the cables that held her.
To be near the one she held dear
The daughter awoke, and she found herself free from the cable by her own hand.
The mother's eyes rose toward her side
A face she loved more than her heart was there.
Eyes she loved more than her life.
Her daughter's lips parted, and she spoke.
"Mom?"
The daughter's voice was hoarse.
"Honey?"
The mother's voice was trembling.
The mother's eyes spread wide, and her jaw dropped low.
Grabbing both her daughters' hands into a prayer motion, she smiled and then cried
ha
hk
ha
hk
The mother cried, because her heart—her daughter— was alive.
Her heart spoke:
"Mom? What happened"
The mother's lips didn't part, but she spoke.
As she dropped her daughter's hands, she just at her heart that now lay free.
Her cheek finally pressed against her cheek.
Her lips finally met the head of the one she held dear.
Hk
Hk
"You're okay."
"Thank god, you're okay."
"Mom, im…im scared"
"I know, darling, I know. Mommy's here."
The girl had no memory.
"mom , where am i"
ha
hk
ha
Grabbing the girl's fragile circular glasses, she brushed away the girl's hair and placed them on her face.
"The hospital, you got in a… in an accident,"
"I'm scared."
"I know, baby, I know"
As they both began to sob, they shook each other's soaking shoulders in their fear and relief. They sat there for what seemed like a lifetime, crying, and embracing—loving each other.
But the mother's concern could not be settled.
"I have to go get the doctor so they can check up on you. You're not supposed to be off the ventilator."
The mother slowly raised her face and smiled while feeblely wiping away her own tears with her hand.
She hugged her daughter once more, she hugged her heart once more, gently—so very gently.
And began to rise onto her own feet, hesitantly walking to the door…but
"Mom, wait— don't leave"
A hand grabbed her wrist
Don't worry, honey, I'll be right back. I love you, honey."
"Love you too..... is my brother okay?"'
The mother smiled and spoke
"Yes, he is a baby."
And with a kiss on her daughter's forehead and a quick hug, she walked to the door and called for a doctor.
"DOCT—"
She was interrupted by the alarms behind her
She ran to her daughter's side. Her daughter's eyes were fluttering
She grabbed her daughter's shoulders and shook them lightly
"Honey! Are you okay!?! HELP!"
"Mom, dont worry, im, im okay"
Her daughter's eyes grew heavy.
"BABY! Don't fall, don't go to sleep, you have to stay awake!"
"But I'm tired, I'm going to sleep."
"NO WAIT! NO DONT! BABY DON'T!"
The mother checked her child's pulse on her neck…
It was slow
"night, love you, mom"
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
A requiem rang throughout the room…
And her daughter's neck feels limp.
The mother shook her daughter frantically but gently; her neck swayed limply like a poppy in the breeze.
The sun's rays crept away, slowly falling off the bed, as the horizon grew dark.
Her screeches stained the air with melancholy
"STOOP! DON'T LEAVE ME!"
DON'T GO, HONEY! WAKE UP!
PLEASE WAKE UP PLEASE!
DON'T LEAVE ME!
STAY PLEASE STAY!
YOU CAN'T GO! DON'T LEAVE US PLEASE!
Swarms of doctors flooded into the room
"How did she get off the ventilator!?!"
"There should have been an alarm!"
"She was fully sedated!"
All of them swarmed around the hospital bed and the mother
"Nurses move the mother, quickly, we don't have time."
"HELP HER HELP HER PLEASE!"The nurse came from behind and tried to move her away, but… she fought
"STOP, I CAN'T LEAVE HER, GET OFF OF ME!"
She pried the hands off her body, but she could not resist for long as more came to take her away.
"She has tachycardia, get the AED."
The doctors charged the shock pads quickly and placed them on the daughter.
CLEAR!
The daughter's body jolted violently.
CLEAR!
The daughter's body spasmed and twitched again
"STOP, DON'T HURT HER"
As the mother was being dragged away, one of her hands broke free and hit the nurse behind her; the nurse fell and knocked the other nurse over.
As she ran, one hand reached toward her daughter, and she screamed
"DON'T LEAVE ME JOHA! (早 霞). PLEASE DON'T GO!"
She fell onto her feet and fell onto the floor.
"Starting chest compressions!"
And as she looked up toward her daughter…
Crack
The skincrawling sound of ribs cracking rang through the room as the doctors started resuscitation.
STOP! DON'T HURT HER!
STOP! DON'T GO!
"Security!"
PA, PLEASE DON'T TAKE HER FROM ME!
The nurses called for security, and they hastily arrived and dragged her out. The last thing she saw of her daughter was her body jerking from being compressed.
BABY! NO!
Her heart had died that day.
******************************************************
10:06 pm Lotus head office
The worker's phone rang, and he answered it. He stood there with his phone to his ear with a straight face. Until he hung up.
???: "Sir, the girl just…died"
Blood rushed to the CEO's head in a painful, ear-splitting beat. The CEO visibly winced. He shot up out of his chair as if his life depended on it; his eyes were wide, and his jaw dropped.
CEO: Are you sure? Double check!"
Director: "What's your choice? Are you going to side with a killer?"
CEO: "I SAID SHUT IT!"
"She's dead, Sir, she died from an aneurysm as a result of her head trauma".
CEO: "fuck… an aneurysm"
Director: "It's only a matter of time. What are you going to do? Let the media rip us apart? Let's get ahead of this."
The CEO sat down in his chair and shoved his head into his palms. His leg came to a stop, and his head began shaking while he clenched his eyes shut."
CEO: Shut up! just...just…do…. It…"
???: "Very well, Sir"
In one sentence, the man had sold out a man's career; in one sentence, the man had sold a piece of himself.