The masterminds POV:
Here I sit on my couch alone in the darkness, my room is a mess and I'm having a hard time arranging my thoughts.
I was betrayed today by the ones who I truly trusted, well not truly though. Let me rephrase that again:
I was betrayed by someone I partially trusted.
And to be honest I don't even feel angry, maybe a little disappointed but not actual angry besides 2025 was a really rough year for me.
My family's worried because I don't tell them anything, I just stay in my house with the windows shut and the curtain drawn.
I am supposed to start studying at a university next month, who am I kidding? I spent so many years working my ass off after finishing high school. I got scolded, insulted, looked down on and the list goes on.
But hey I still got my mental health right??
Well if I did I wouldn't be sitting here typing this would I?
I think my mental health abandoned me a long time ago, when I was probably 16 or 17.
Just kidding, my mental health abandoned m immediately I knew what life was.
Well my childhood wasn't very kind to me, all sort of things happened to me, things that I would never tell anyone till the day I die.
So I decided to write a few book because someone once told me I should try writing a book. But guess what? I didn't actually try writing a book because someone encouraged me, no no no I tried writing those two books because I needed money. Yes I am dirt broke.
And so far so bad my books have not really been doing well and it's making my stomach hurt. Whenever I feel an intense emotion it makes my stomach hurt.
Well, I don't have the self esteem to continue those books because I have become very insecure. Well I was always insecure about everything but this days I am the final boss of insecurities. I can't even look at my face in the mirror without grimacing, heck I can't even keep a relationship or get into one anymore because my self esteem is literally at the floor of bikini bottom.
So I decided that I wasn't going to get married, but I do have a question though, would things eventually get better?
Nah I don't think so, I mean the older I get the more depressed I get and I don't even have any life plans at 21. I have lost the urge to do anything. I don't go out anymore.
Hold on. Someone just knocked on my door.
It was my neighbors kids all four of them, they wanted to watch some cartoons.
I am a big fan of anime BTW I plan to binge watch rising of the shield hero when I'm done typing this.
Where was I? Yeah I don't go out anymore because I feel self conscious when I'm around people. ' what if they're looking at me? Does my face look fat? What If they are laughing at me?' I get this kind of thoughts when Im outside with people.
My phone is my best friend, no my bed is and my couch and my demons.
I feel like webnovel is going to take this down but I really don't care I just want one or 2 people to know how I feel because In reality I can't tell people how I feel.
I feel a lot lighter and my head feels a bit clearer after writing this