Chapter 1- Miserable
(A//N: Depictions of suicide in the first chapter for those who aren't comfortable with reading that. It's only this chapter, though. Read at your own risk)
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October 17th, 2035.
Time: 1:38 AM
Location: Blue Cloud City
Blue Cloud City, a medium-sized city in the far north, is tucked near a river that cuts through the entire nation. It was a beautiful, calm, and rather uneventful city where people who sought a quieter lifestyle lived. It wasn't the most amazing tourist destination and certainly didn't have the bustling, timeless vibe of a metropolitan megacity like the ones down south.
However, its charm was precisely in that aspect. The lack of "intense" imagery or the overstimulation of colors those cities provide.
In any case, Blue Cloud City didn't have anything going on, and that night it was certainly a night like every other night.
Tucked in one of the corners of this city was a small apartment complex. It wasn't anything unique either — a rather normal, frankly below-average, old building in a crummy neighborhood.
It had three floors and a small lounge on the first floor. There were exactly four apartments in that building, so it wasn't that big either.
In one of those apartments, precisely the one at the very top, lived a young boy. He was barely seventeen years of age, still in high school, to his misfortune.
Passing through his door, one would be met with piles and piles of rubbish and other unknown stuff covering the entire space. It looked like nobody had cleaned the entrance in years. Passing through this sea of trash, one would get a whiff of a horrible smell, perhaps of rotten food. To the left was a disaster of a bathroom and to the right was the small kitchen with large piles of unwashed, crusty dishes.
The entire place looked like a complete and utter disaster, not even fit to sustain an animal's life, let alone a human's. Yet, by some miracle, a human being lived there and survived.
Walking past all of that, one would find the bedroom, and opening the door, they would see a sole figure sitting at the desk with the bright, almost blinding screen blasting a video game right into his eyes.
The room was as horrendous as the rest of the house, if not worse. Books, trash, cups of noodles and snacks, and piles of clothes that hadn't been washed in God knows how long.
The entire place smelled so bad one would want to throw up just walking into it. However, for better or worse, no one truly walks into that place… ever.
"DEFEAT!"
A voice echoed within the entire room, mixed with the sound of gunshots and blasting. Then, a red screen appeared within the boy's vision.
"Dammit!" Slamming his hand against the table, Jack cursed loudly. "Why didn't that idiot support heal me? I was carrying the game so hard! But they had to be absolute idiots and ruin it!"
In a fit of anger, he swept all the trash on his table off before he slammed his fist again.
"Screw you all! Screw you!!"
Grumbling to himself, Jack leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling in a daze as he heaved up and down. As he calmed, his mind slowly trailed away into another world. His red, baggy eyes closed slowly.
'I'm… tired…' he thought to himself. 'I'm really… tired…'
Slowly, he opened his eyes and stared at the space around him. He was living in filth and darkness. All he could see were the signs of his own failure as a human being: every piece of trash, every piece of clothing, and every mark on the wall. It was HIS failure.
Jack, who was once someone with a perfect life, someone destined for success and a good future, lost it all in a single second. That was all it took: a single second of misfortune for him to be cursed with this life.
Slowly, his eyes looked down as he stood up. His expression was hollow and empty, his once bright red eyes losing all their light. His acne-covered face relaxed completely; he couldn't even find the strength to be angry anymore. In fact, he didn't even have the strength to feel anything.
Then, he started walking through the piles of trash, limping with his left leg as if he couldn't move it properly. Slowly, he kicked trash out of his path and made his way out of the room and into the bathroom.
Standing before the dirty, broken mirror, he saw a contorted reflection of himself. Not that a normal reflection would've been flattering either.
After all, the image staring back at him was that of a fat, pale-looking boy. He had a sweaty shirt on and long, unkempt hair that dropped over his face and stuck to his skin. The boy looked like a caveman who hadn't seen water in years.
Blinking slowly, Jack leaned down and turned on the faucet to wash his face. He splashed the water on it a few times before he turned and walked out without drying it.
Then, he limped to his kitchen and opened his fridge.
"… I forgot to buy milk…" he muttered as he stared at the empty fridge. Sighing, he closed the fridge and slowly turned to leave. However, as he was about to take a step, he slipped on some unknown substance on the ground.
"AAAGH!"
Flipping over, he fell on his back with a loud thud. "Agh… my back…" he cursed as he rolled to the side.
"Goddammit… Goddammit…"
His fists clenched from the sheer pain of the fall. However, he still slowly tried to lift himself. Pushing the garbage to the side, he used the kitchen counter as support to stand up. With his useless leg, that rather simple task turned out to be far more complicated than normal.
"Come on, it's not that hard." He clenched his teeth and used all his power to lift himself. After what felt like forever, Jack finally stood and leaned on the counter, breathing heavily. It took all his energy to pull that off.
"Ok, I'm fine… I'm fine." he whispered as he turned to walk out again, this time carefu—
SLIPBANG
He slipped again.
"Fuck!! Screw you!! Screw you!!! Just let me move!!"
Yelling loudly, Jack slammed his fist on the ground.
"Just let me move… man… Is that too much to ask?" Looking down at his useless leg, Jack felt overwhelming bitterness and anger fill his heart. His throat felt clogged as he fought the tears that threatened to escape his eyes. He was sick and tired of his leg, his life, and everything else. He hated it all. He hated that he had to wake up every day in this miserable world and deal with the fact that he was still alive.
He wished every night that he would close his eyes and never open them again. Yet, every day, he woke up, reminded of everything he was and everything he is.
"I'm not gonna cry." Sniffing, he wiped his eyes as he slowly rose again and tried to stand. However, as he was about to, his eyes caught something not far away from him — something that reflected light.
Squinting, he made out what it was. A knife, covered in residue.
For a second, Jack locked on it, not moving a single inch as a demonic idea formed in his head. An idea he had contemplated before, yet cowered at the thought of.
"... Gulp"
However, at that moment, for some unknown reason, that idea seemed more enticing than ever before.
'Who would care, really? They probably won't discover my body until several days later, when it starts rotting… They would just call it what it is — suicide, and bury me in some forgettable grave.' he mused. As dark and suffocating as that idea was, it sounded rather peaceful to Jack.
He could finally perish and be forgotten forever. He could finally be spared the pain of existing in this cruel world. He had to just take that bold step and end it all.
Slowly, his hand moved toward the knife as he held the grip shakily. His hand start sweating and his heart raced faster than before. But, he didn't give up like before. Not this time at least.
"It will just be painful for a few seconds and then I won't feel anything." he muttered. "Just a few seconds… They probably won't be worse than the pain I'm feeling now."
Lying back down, Jack aimed the knife shakingly at his throat.
"Just do it." He gulped as beads of sweat fell down his face. "Just do it."
Breathing heavily, Jack closed his eyes and kept the knife hovering above his head. Fear crept into his heart, telling him not to do it. However, this time, Jack was far too numb to care.
'3… 2… 1…'
Swish
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A//N: Add book to your library and donate some PS for a cookie :]