Spring break had concluded, and the new semester at Soubu High School officially commenced with all the fanfare of a season premiere.
For the first day of a new term, high school students typically rose at obscenely early hours. First-years harbored dreams of rushing to school to meet charming new classmates and forge the friendships that would define their high school experience. Second-years and above hoped to reunite with familiar faces when the new class rosters were posted, praying their social circles remained intact.
For every normal, well-adjusted high school student, the first day of the first semester represented a crucial pillar of their entire youth narrative—a day to arrive early and make the right impressions.
And I, Hikigaya Hachiman, now officially a third-year student, am currently pedaling my bicycle in a frantic, undignified rush to school, burdened by the crushing reality of being ten minutes late.
In truth, his beloved imouto Komachi had called to wake him that morning. But Hikigaya, trapped in the sweet embrace of exhaustion-induced sleep, had merely grunted incoherently in response. His adorable sister, displaying the merciless pragmatism unique to younger siblings, had heartlessly abandoned him to his fate and departed for school alone.
"Sigh."
Hikigaya released a long, soul-weary sigh, finding even the spring air oppressive. Having experienced the trauma of a disastrous failed start to a previous school year, he had meticulously planned to rise early today. He would arrive prepared, ready to greet new classmates, new teachers, and begin his final year with the dignity of a reformed loner.
Unfortunately, reality had other plans.
Because Yukinoshita had forcibly detained him for an entire afternoon yesterday, even after a full night's rest, his entire body still ached with a deep, bone-level fatigue. His physical and spiritual reserves were utterly depleted.
Even now, riding his bicycle required careful, deliberate movements to prevent his trembling legs from seizing up entirely.
"Sadistic Demon Lord! She's absolutely a Demon Lord in human clothing!"
Recalling the events of yesterday afternoon—the relentless campaign waged against him—Hikigaya's mind was currently haunted by terrifying shadows of trauma.
Before that fateful encounter, Hikigaya had possessed boundless confidence in himself. As a male, he fundamentally believed he could easily match Yukinoshita in stamina. Who could have predicted that reality would deliver such a brutal, humbling blow, directly sending him into an emotional spiral?
Despite Yukinoshita's notoriously poor athletic ability—she sometimes required visits to the nurse's office during PE—yesterday afternoon she had performed as though blessed by some unseen power. It was like a max-level demon lord, fresh from conquering the final dungeon, casually tormenting his pathetic Level 1 character who had just stumbled out of the starting village.
Damn it all. How can I be so pathetically weak?
The thought of facing Yukinoshita at school today, of enduring her inevitable mockery and ridicule... Hikigaya grew increasingly disheartened with each passing meter.
Dark fantasies plagued him: visions of married life where Yukinoshita would look at him with barely concealed regret and deliver cutting remarks like, "Zako-kun truly lives up to his name, doesn't he? I suppose I'll simply call you Zako-kun forever~" or "If you're struggling so much, Zako-kun, perhaps you should consider supplements~" or even worse, a heavy sigh followed by, "Well, never mind. As long as you can still father children, I suppose we'll manage."
Ahhh! I have no dignity whatsoever!!
Hikigaya's expression contorted into something resembling a bitter gourd left too long in the sun.
No.
I absolutely cannot surrender to despair!
If my youth story has fundamental problems, my married life story must NOT have problems!
With the crushing academic load awaiting him in third year, Hikigaya made a solemn vow: while maintaining his studies, he would prioritize physical training as a close second. No matter the cost, he refused to let Yukinoshita continue looking down on him.
He pedaled his bicycle with renewed vigor, increasing speed despite his protesting muscles. Consider it preemptive conditioning, he told himself.
"Huh... Whoa whoa whoa! Watch out!!"
Just as Hikigaya charged enthusiastically forward, a girl suddenly emerged from around a blind corner. Had his brakes not been in peak condition, he would have repeated the bicycle-accident incident from last year—and nobody wanted that.
That was close. Too close.
Thank goodness I'm physically weak. Any more force behind my pedaling and I'd have definitely hit her.
After stopping his bicycle, Hikigaya propped one foot on the ground and addressed the short-haired girl with genuine concern: "Sorry, sorry! Are you alright? Not hurt?"
...Huh. That uniform is from Soubu High.
A fellow student, then. Good.
"I'm fine."
"Oh, good that you're fine—"
Hikigaya nodded with relief. However, before departing, he hesitated, touching the back seat of his bicycle and glancing at the short-haired girl whose forehead was beaded with nervous sweat.
Observing this, the girl paused for a moment before asking with curious directness:
"Are you asking me to sit on the back of your bicycle?"
"Eh?"
Oh great, she has mind-reading abilities!
Since his intentions had been discovered, Hikigaya, enduring the social embarrassment that threatened to consume him, had no choice but to commit: "It's only natural for a senior to assist a junior. We're both going to be late—if you ride with me, we'll both arrive faster."
This is genuinely painful.
On the very first day of my third year, I'm inviting a complete underclassman to ride on the back of my bicycle.
Ah, I'm definitely going to be labeled as a creep, aren't I?
Then again... if this were a certain troublesome kouhai, she'd probably cover her chest with both hands, trembling theatrically, and deliver some rehearsed line like, "Senpai, you wouldn't happen to like me, would you? I'm sorry, but I already have someone I adore. My apologies~" Something equally insufferable, certainly.
"Thank you."
To Hikigaya's complete astonishment, the short-haired girl actually nodded and calmly walked to the back of his bicycle, seating herself without further prompting.
"Thank you, Hikigaya."
"Huh?" Hikigaya, who had been steadying the bicycle, immediately twisted his head to stare at the girl behind him with undisguised shock. "You know me?"
"Hikigaya is quite famous at Soubu High. Any normal student would recognize you," the short-haired girl stated matter-of-factly, adjusting her position before nodding to signal that he could begin riding.
"Famous? I'm just an ordinary, completely unremarkable student who wants to be left alone."
"A member of the Service Club. Involved in organizing the Culture Festival. The Sports Festival. The Joint Dance Party." She ticked each item off on her fingers. "Numerous school events, large and small. Does that truly count as unremarkable?"
"Ah?!"
When he heard the girl calmly recite his entire second-year history of embarrassing participation, Hikigaya nearly broke out in a cold sweat.
Because he was now carrying a passenger, he'd deliberately reduced his speed. This cautious pace was the only reason he managed to keep the bicycle upright instead of swerving into oncoming traffic.
Did you stalk me or something?!
Although Hikigaya had technically participated in all those activities, he had deliberately positioned himself as invisibly as possible during their execution. He'd been confident that, aside from the handful of people closest to him, no other student could possibly know the full extent of his involvement. Certainly not an unfamiliar underclassman.
Hikigaya's wariness toward this mysterious girl instantly maxed out.
Could it be... this kouhai secretly harbors feelings for me?!
Ahaha.
Someone like me—a dried-up salted fish of a human being—actually has a secret admirer?
No, no, no!
I have a girlfriend now. I'm a committed man!
Sorry, mysterious kouhai, but your affections are destined to go unrequited—
"Ju... Junior, I, I..."
Hikigaya's lips trembled as he opened his mouth, preparing to take the initiative and deliver a gentle rejection before things escalated further.
His survival instincts were screaming at him. This girl gave off an inexplicably dangerous signal—the kind that made his professional loner senses tingle with warning.
However, the short-haired girl spoke first, calmly interrupting his stuttering: "Hikigaya, I'm also a third-year student. Same as you."
"...Eh, eh, eh?!"
Also a third-year?!
No way!
Hikigaya's heart skipped several beats. Having participated in so many activities during his second year, he'd actually compiled a mental directory of all students in the school at one point. He prided himself on having at least a passing impression of not only his own grade but nearly everyone in the entire student body.
But for this girl who had suddenly appeared in his life, his mind was now a complete blank slate—as if she had materialized from thin air like a glitch in the Matrix.
Oh!
Is she a transfer student?
Idiot Hachiman!
She just rattled off a string of highly specific information about my embarrassing exploits. How could she possibly be a transfer student?
Either way, embarrassing history +1.
"I remember now, you were in Class B before... Fujiwara?"
"I'm Kato from Class E."
"Ah, sorry."
It's over.
Embarrassing history +1 again.
After mentally noting this latest failure, Hikigaya racked his brain desperately.
Ka... Kato?
Class E?
I'm in Class F.
So she's just in the class next to mine?
Hiss!
Is there really such a person existing in the neighboring class?
Oh no!
I have absolutely zero impression of her!
What is going on with this woman?
She's too strange—stranger than anything I've encountered in my years of dedicated loner observation!
Hikigaya, now burdened with two additional embarrassing incidents, inexplicably felt a suffocating pressure building in his chest. He realized with growing horror that the person sitting behind him on his bicycle was not a cute girl at all, but a terrifying, invisible Demon Lord—the super-invisible kind that lurked undetected in plain sight!
"It's fine." Kato shook her head, her expression perfectly calm, and stated matter-of-factly, "I'm not very noticeable to begin with. My grades are average, I haven't participated in any club activities, I've never been a class committee member, and I don't have many friends. It's perfectly normal for Hikigaya not to know me or have any impression of me at all."
What's with this familiar sense of déjà vu?
Isn't that just me?!
Uh... No, no, no!
Even a salted fish like me at least participated in a club! And while my other grades might be average, I'm ranked third in the entire grade for Japanese language!
How dare I compare myself to you—you've transcended invisibility entirely!
"That's not true, Kato-san is actually quite cute."
At least in one aspect, you're even superior to Yukinoshita, who holds the top grades in the entire grade!
"Hikigaya is very kind," Kato continued without changing her expression by so much as a millimeter. "However, you don't need to comfort me. If I were truly cute, Hikigaya would have noticed me long ago, wouldn't he?"
"...Eh?"
Hikigaya fell speechless, and as he selectively shut his mouth, the alarm bells in his heart rang even louder than before.
Not only did he have absolutely no impression of this girl—none whatsoever!
Yet this invisible monster seemed to know him intimately, and merely talking to her brought an unnamed pressure that left him constantly on the defensive, struggling to keep up.
Hikigaya even began to wonder if this accidental encounter with Kato was part of some elaborate scheme—an evil plot orchestrated by this apparent "demon lord" in high school form?
Hikigaya was now on maximum alert.
Saint Yukinoshita, save me from this hidden Demon Lord!