Lina
I cried so hard, a deep, broken sound that ripped out of my chest, after I finally got that I was still alive. It was a weird, awful kind of relief, mixed with a crushing sadness. That ruthless boss had his fill, including his friends Jamil and Lucian, had taken turns on me, and just thinking about it felt like a fresh, burning pain.
I remembered every bit of the hurt, from my mouth to down there. Everywhere hurt, it was a dull, aching throb that spread through every part of my body. I lay on the cold, hard floor, I couldn't even twitch, my arms and legs were heavy and useless.
"Oh, it hurts so much," I whispered, the words barely coming out, choked by the tears that just kept falling down my face, hot and never-ending. Each tear felt like it took a piece of me with it, draining me, leaving me hollow and empty.
The cold marble pushed against my bare skin, always there, always reminding me of where I was, of what had just happened. My muscles screamed, every tiny part of them protesting, a choir of pain that echoed inside my head. I could still feel the touches that weren't there anymore, the rough hands, the violating push, even though they were gone.
The air itself felt heavy, thick with the lingering smell of sweat, blood, and something else, something nasty and sickening that made my stomach turn. I just wanted to disappear, to just melt into the stone floor and stop existing.
I never knew Kade was still watching from the door, but I kept mumbling words, a broken list of my suffering. "It hurts so much," I said again and again, like a broken doll, those were the only words my mind could make.
My voice was raw, scraped, just barely a whisper. I didn't know if he was there, if anyone was there. I just needed to say it, to let out the unbearable pain that filled me. Every breath was a struggle, every heartbeat a new wave of agony. My eyes were blurry from tears, the big hall looked twisted and scary, a blur of dark stone and tall shadows. It was night already. I was lost in my own pain, stuck inside my own body.
Then, his voice. Cold, sharp, cutting through my foggy misery like a knife. "What a useless peasant I brought that couldn't do her job right."
When I heard his voice, my heart jumped, a painful lurch in my chest. It felt like a punch, a reminder that even though I was broken, I was still just a tool, I never bargained for, something he owned, and a broken one at that. Shame, hot and bitter, washed over me, mixing with the pain.
I tried to lift myself up, to push off the cold floor, but my muscles screamed, refusing to listen. My arms shook, useless, my legs felt like jelly. I couldn't do it. But I tried so hard, pushing with every last bit of strength I had, a desperate, useless try to get back some bit of dignity, to show him I wasn't completely broken, even if I was. I pushed, gritting my teeth, until I was halfway up, leaning on my elbows, my body shaking wildly.
"Sir, I only clean, and wash dishes at my old workplace," I managed to croak out, my voice barely a whisper. I couldn't find my voice, it felt like I lost it when those two men were hurting me. My throat felt raw, scraped, like I'd swallowed broken glass. My voice was messed up, a rough, broken sound, so I couldn't speak very loud.
The words were a desperate explanation, a plea for him to understand, for him to see me as something more than just a body to be used. I only came here because of my brother. I had always been a worker, a cleaner, a dishwasher in diners. My hands were made for scrubbing, for carrying, not for this. The memory of my old life, simple and tough but free from this kind of shame, flashed in my mind, a cruel difference to my nightmare now.
"You don't talk when I'm talking!" Kade ordered, his voice a low, dangerous growl that echoed through the huge hall. The sound seemed to fill every corner, pushing down on me, stopping any more protests. He walked into the big hall like a ghost and a killer, his presence chilling, his movements quiet and deadly.
He was a dark, big figure, a shadow of death. My breath caught, and I managed to get on my knees in front of him, naked, my body shaking, my face bent low, unable to look him in the eye. My head was bowed down, trying to show I gave up, a useless try to make him happy, to avoid more punishment. The cold air touched my bare skin, making me shiver, but it wasn't cold. It was from fear.
"It's still the same messed-up thing, you will do both and you will be strong!" His words were a cruel twist, a horrifying statement that my pain wasn't over, that this was just the start. I was going to be both a plaything and a worker, a broken body forced to do endless tasks.
"I'm sorry, sire, I will die," I said quietly, the words barely a breath, a desperate, almost silent plea. I never knew what might hurt him, what might make him even worse. I just knew I couldn't take any more. The pain was too much, the shame too deep.
Dying felt like a good escape, a sweet release from this never-ending pain. My eyes got blurry again, tears building up, and I tasted the saltiness on my lips. My body was a wreck, aching, bleeding, violated. How could I possibly be strong? How could I possibly do anything but die?
"It's better that way, girl. You die, I'll just get more women and ladies, so stop talking!" Kade's voice was sharp, uncaring, totally without any pity. His words were a brutal confirmation that I was worthless, a casual way of saying my life didn't matter. My tears fell even more, hot and heavy, splashing onto the cold marble floor. As they fell, my mind drifted, a desperate escape into the past. I remembered my mom, her kind eyes, her gentle hands, how she never let us suffer, how she always found a way to make things better, even when times were hard.
The memories were a fresh wave of pain, reminding me of everything I had lost, everything that had led me to this hell. My heart ached for a past that was gone forever, a life that had been violently ripped away from me.
"Stand up!" Kade ordered, his voice sharp, cutting through my sad thoughts. It was an order, not a question. I managed to push myself, my arms shaking, my legs trembling, trying to obey. My body felt like it weighed a ton, every muscle screaming in protest. I pushed, gritted my teeth, and slowly, painfully, I managed to get to my feet, swaying dangerously.
But my leg gave out, bending under me, weak and not listening. I fell so hard on the floor, a sickening thud that echoed in the huge hall, sending fresh waves of pain through my body that was already hurting. My head hit the marble with a dull thud, stars bursting behind my eyes. I lay there, a crumpled heap, couldn't move, couldn't even cry out. The shame was complete.
Kade, seeing me lying helpless on the floor, hissed in disgust. It was a low, angry sound, a clear sign he was annoyed. He scratched his head, his movements jumpy, irritated, as if my weakness was a huge problem for him.
"Gwen!" he yelled, his voice sharp, impatient. Gwen appeared, her face was full of wrinkles from tiredness, her movements quick and smooth, opened the door and rushed towards Kade. She bent her face low, showing deep respect and obedience, her eyes looking down.
" Sir," she mumbled, her voice soft, respectful. It seemed she had been there, waiting outside, always ready to be called, always ready to obey. She was like a shadow, always there, always unseen until he called her. Her being there, her quiet obedience, made my own defiance stand out, my own inability to just do what I was told.
"Take this girl and give her a work uniform, show her around and make her work now without resting!" Kade gave the order, his voice cold, uncaring, as if he were talking about a broken tool. He didn't even look at me, his eyes fixed on Gwen. He walked off from the hall, his strong body disappearing through the doorway, leaving me alone with Gwen and the lingering bad smell of blood and being violated. My mind spun. Work? Now? After all that?
I opened my eyes wide, full of disbelief, seeing that Kade had left. I felt mixed up and in pain, a dizzying mix of agony and confusion. After going through all that trouble to please three men, after being used and broken, after suffering such terrible pain, you still want me to work? The question screamed in my mind, a quiet, desperate cry of anger and disbelief. It was a cruel joke, a final, brutal twist of the knife. How could I possibly work? How could I possibly move? My body was a mess, my spirit shattered. The idea of being forced to clean, to carry, to serve, right after such a brutal ordeal, was just too much to understand. It was monstrous. It was Kade's ultimate cruelty.