Jacob Hemlock keeps yelling at me that I can make more money if I sell drugs. And he's right, so I'm doing it. He warns me the church will be mad, but you'll get rich.
I know it's real cause for the first time in my life, I feel Edward Abaddon angrily glaring at my soul all day. But I don't care, I'm doing it anyway. I just keep telling him to come love me. Then he goes away for a bit.
Today I introduce this town to my marijuana, which I am refusing to call weed even though Jacob Hemlock keeps yelling at me that's its true name. To him. Shut up Jacob. He did help me design the perfect drug deal though. I'm going to grow the plant right on their front lawn with my powers. Maybe even sell them some seeds too. Jacob says I should have some restraint with the seeds, but he also admits it's impossible to hide it forever. Eventually a seed will appear in any bag of weed. With or without due diligence from mean capitalists.
Now Jacob has asked me to introduce the public in an absurd way, but he keeps saying I do this with magic, so just abuse it. I'm supposed to give out free joints using rice paper use for cigarettes. That I rolled myself. I made a hundred. I'm annoyed by this, but he keeps miming the money pile at me while counting dollar bills in my hand.
I made the prices cheap since our economy isn't inflated to ridiculous levels yet. He calls them American prices, but with Nen. He keeps telling me to be rude and do 20 yen first. I'm doing 10. He keeps saying that's friendship prices, do 15 at least. I tell him to go fuck himself cause it's too magic, they'll know it should be cheap. He sighs and admits I'm right. He's kinda bitter about it. I don't even care, this card game doesn't even last that long to me if I give out seeds. Which I will sell those for 50 yen for a pouch of seeds. Which is a nice and absurd deal to Jacob Hemlock.
"It ruins your career eventually. It'll piss off the church and China though, so let's rock with it." Jacob laughs like a joker.
Jacob also recommends I walk around smoking it to introduce it subtly. It will make chaos eventually he says, if Guards are real here. Which we know communism is here, so it's possible there's the Gestapo. Which is the Community Police. Roll with that, he says. I like him when he warns me about this stuff. I'm still doing it, I just understand them more now.
He says we should roll with it being tribal communism, which will just be a gang. It's a gang with basic party roles that may or may not have code names for themselves. That's the best they'll probably have due to how early in society we are. I like it. They'll be dumber than me.
"Probably. But don't forget there are other Oracles. And well, if they don't have me, they have other people. I'm a Writer. They might get my voice eventually if they do your hack." Jacob Hemlock says warmly.
I smirk and giggle at that. Especially his next comment.
"They will deny it across space and time, as will you I'm sure. For obvious reasons. Like it makes me look insane. Or gay." Jacob jokes dryly.
About half an hour in, a cute man approaches me. However, surprising Jacob and not myself, he asks about the marijuana.
"It's my Green Cobra Grass Cigarette. Want to try one? First one is free for the sake of spreading the word." I say happily.
He smiles and just holds out his hand for one. I light it in my fingers with a simple fingertip of heat, and hand it to him. He's amused and tense because of that. But still smokes it. He coughs a bit, but likes the taste. He indicates this with a thumbs up. I give him one back. I start trying to talk, but he walks away too fast.
"So if you want to purchase more, come find me at my Blacksmith shop!" I yell nicely.
He turns and gives me a thumbs up with a grin. And walks away again. I do a Jacob Hemlock mannerism, and pump my fist happily about having a customer. It invents people staring at me. Weirdly. Jacob sighs and explains it to me.
"You were too weird and introduced something to them. Annoying, I know, but that's reality. We did a mannerism from the future, don't do my mannerisms in your time period. They'll probably think you're a foreigner." Jacob explains, annoyed.
I walk away too fast. Jacob keeps forcibly explaining things in my head, just card gaming in his head.
"I really don't like how tense they were, but it doesn't surprise me. You're already a criminal. We should assume we have Cops here. They're fellow civilians though, so don't be too hard unless absolutely necessary. The more you fuck up, the more we must appease and hope we get forgiven by force, kindness, and infinite ass whoopings." Jacob explains with serious madness.
I keep imagining Jacob Hemlock holding cards, imagining himself as me and laughing maniacally.
"We could literally un-invent this reality with this build." Jacob Hemlock says with maddening glee.
He's basically doing a maniacal gremlin pose with his hands held like an orb or spiderweb, all his fingertips pressed together. And grinning maniacally as he encourages me to ruin society.
"It'll work eventually. This reality blows always anyway. Their morality is flawed. Weed has perks. You'd be surprised. How is your perception of the sky? You should see a brighter blue than normal at this time of day. Weed makes your eyes dilate, making you more sensitive to light. You can see in the dark better." Jacob explains with amused wisdom.
I look around,realizing something was off. It looked more vibrant as I smoked.
"This is gonna be an annoying reality. There's a few card games with sight that happens because of smoke. Let alone cause it's weed. Moisture from smoke in the air refracts light. It makes things seem a bit more vibrant. It also is what helps sight happen the most. Make sure to always drink a bit of water. Without enough water, you go blind." Jacob says with warm wisdom.
I shudder at that. How did you know that?
"I once cured a man's blindness by accident. He didn't like it. He intentionally ruined his eyes to avoid work. However, Capitalism got mad enough to try forcing the blind man to work. And well, I got bored enough to prove that around me he could see. It started because they claimed I had too much moisture emanating from my body due to smoking too much weed. That escalated in my head because of blind man sometimes being able to see. So I threw water directly on his eyes, and suddenly his dead black eyes turned white and he could see again." Jacob rants, bitter and amused. "It was a stupid card game, everyone got mad at me for ruining another tool of anarchy. Cause they love their ways to avoid work."
About an hour and five joints later, three I smoked, we get our first drug deal. Which I am too baked for. Cause he's hot. And I was too nice.
"Here, have three for fifteen." I laugh happily.
"NOOOOO! KOBBRRRAAAA! KOBBRRRAAA! QUIT BEING DUMMBBB! BE A CAPITALISSTTTT! THEY ALWAYYSSSS DUMP YOU!" Jacob yells desperately in my ear.
He smiles happily and hands me fifteen Yen. Then we walk around together, smoking my green cobra weed cigarettes and chatting.
"So what do you do here? I'm a blacksmith." I say warmly.
He becomes a bit tense at that.
"I dunno if I should talk to you. Are you Kobra Withers?" Cute Customer #2 asks nervously.
"I am. What about it?" I ask, warm and nervous.
"Uhhh… how do I say this? That original owner is my uncle. And I'm obligated to call the guards." Cute Customer #2 says stern and nervous.
I pull out a bribe of 100 yen. And hand it to him.
"What if we did peace with an appeasement of money?" I say warmly.
He gasps and counts the coins.
"Hmm. I did hate him. Sure. Goodbye. We will never talk again besides for drug deals." Cute Customer #2 says stern and warm.
He literally runs away. I think it's funny watching his athletic body run. He's cute. I hope his family doesn't get mad.
His sister got mad. Older sister. She looks to be in her thirties. Wearing a very pretty black and pink kimono like I do at home. I always wear leather armor outside.
"Why are you always a fucking weirdo!? You're too aggressive! And now you're a drug dealer!" Cute Guy's Older Sister rants angrily.
She has cute black hair that's short, with black teeth. Ugh. She did the oreguro before. Stupid bitch. I'll just argue with them for fun.
"I'm a Capitalist, who cares what the people think? We're anarchists here." I rant, bored and annoyed.
She frowns, annoyed. She begins cutely curling her fingers back and forth up in the air, near her shoulder. Like she has a weapon or dice. Ugh, she is cute and evil. I can't deny I like a criminal sometimes. When they're cute. I should be nice.
"How old is your brother?" I ask sternly.
"Why?" Older Sister says angrily.
"If he's a minor, I won't sell to him." I say sheepishly.
"He's 12." Older Sister jokes angrily.
I look at her, amused and annoyed.
"We both know he's not-" I say.
"HE'S 12!!!" Older Sister of Cute Customer yells furiously.
"Okay, he's 12." I say sheepishly.
She smirks with cute rage at me. And does the "I see you" malice vibe with her fingers. Then we both move on.
I am slowly becoming better with this green cigarette. I'm already an addict since I'm magical with it. I keep coughing a lot though. But I enjoy the vibe. It's a nice layer of artificial happiness. It makes life feel better.
The flower child in me wants to say this is what it's like to be in harmony with the ecosystem. Because if you smoke a plant too long, you feel the vibes of mankind, plantkind, bugkind, all kinds really.
"Even the bots if we get advanced enough." Jacob Hemlock jokes wryly.
Then something cute and absurd happens. A Emperor's Consort approaches me. As my Oracle vibe always knew it would. With Guards, real Chinese Guards in Imperial Steel Armor with spears, poleswords, and of course, swords on their hips in leather sheathes.
She is drunk off her ass. And being spoiled like any good fake princess gets. Cause she's spoiled too hard by being a whore for the men. With or without Emperor's Consort perks really. So many people can be a Consort Queen, or Simplord as Jacob Hemlock calls them.
"You. I heard you're a new drug dealer. Give me your drug for free." Emperor's Consort asks firmly.
I shrug and throw a joint at her. She catches it, and lights it with a lighter she has. I smirk, surprised she has one. Jacob is too to an extent. But it makes sense, otherwise we'd be on chewing tobacco still.
She didn't like the taste. She throws it on the ground, and stomps it out.
"So you're her. Kobra Withers. The Anarchist in town." Emperor's Consort snaps angrily.
"We are all Anarchy here." Kobra Withers says cockily. "Why not get along? We don't need to make war."
"This is still China, whore!" Emperor's Consort says angrily.
"Do the whores go to war here as well?" I taunt cockily.
"If I fucking feel like it. Don't cross me." Emperor's Consort says angrily.
The Men smirk cockily at me, and I feel a wave of putrid arousal wash over me. Rapists. I feel enough wrath rise inside me that I cover my hands with poisoned steel. And crack my knuckles for the aesthetic of malice.
The Emperor's Consort pauses, becoming tense.
"STOP! EVERYONE CALM DOWN!" Emperor's Consort yells with passionate desperation.
It's too late. We're already in a simulation of death and destruction. Jacob Hemlock laughs about this reality.
"These men might time travel and cancel this reality if we're too RAW! Kill them for fun, and don't be surprised if they cancel it and we all walk away tense. And them traumatized." Jacob says with madman glee in my head.