First Impression
Shock – Unforgettable Moment:
Kael's head slamming onto the table — pure cinema. It instantly grabs the reader's attention; the sound, smell, and silence work together perfectly.
Riven's Coldness:
Placing the head on the table and saying "Yesterday Kael attacked my sister. This was the result." — this line defines Riven's calculating, emotionless nature. Brilliant.
Corven's Suspicion:
The line "Why is that worm looking at me?" could be more literary and realistic. Visualize the eye contact, the primal fear, the twitch of hesitation — it'll feel more grounded.
Collection Theme:
The motif of "collecting the traitors" is strong. Tie it deeper to Riven's psyche — maybe each head has a tag, a childhood memory beneath it, a twisted ritual.
Lack of Emotional Response:
Elira, Darel, and the others need clearer emotional reactions — tears, fainting, frozen stares, or drawing a blade in panic. Small physical responses will make the scene feel alive.
Transition — Demon Realm / Vel:
Use sharp contrast: icy silence in the village → at the same time, Vel's childish rage in his heavenly palace.
You can link the two scenes with a parallel cut: "A candle went out in the village… while above, a little god was brewing a storm."
---
The War Begins
Vel rose to his feet, eyes blazing with a light that pierced the heavens.
He looked down — toward the world.
> Vel: "My five hundred soldiers! Are you ready?
Today, we take Riven's fortress!"
The army roared in unison:
> "Yes, my lord!"
Vel's lips curled into a wild, boyish grin.
And in that instant — the sky shattered.
Darkness devoured the light; lightning cracked across the firmament.
Pitch-black rifts opened above,
and from them, the five hundred soldiers descended upon the world.
---
Riven suddenly froze mid-step.
While walking through the castle halls, he lifted his head — his third eye gleamed in the dark.
> Riven (smirking): "Ha… foolish Vel.
I knew you'd do this. If you hadn't, my plan would've failed."
There was no fear on his face — only joy.
The war was beginning — just as he wanted.
---
> Riven: "White Riven! Where are they?"
> White Riven: "About fifty kilometers from our village.
They're closing in."
> Riven: "Then tell everyone to prepare.
We move out!"
---
Darel tightened his grip on his sword, voice trembling:
> Darel: "This… this is really happening, isn't it?"
Corven stepped forward, pale-faced:
> Corven: "My lord, do you think… we can win?"
Riven paused, then smiled faintly.
> Riven: "I'm Riven. I never lose.
I just use my pawns wisely."
Silence.
The wind echoed against the castle's stone walls.
---
> Elira: "I'm coming too, Riven."
Riven turned; his eyes suddenly gleamed.
> Riven: "No. You'll stay here.
This place is your responsibility."
> Elira: "No! I won't leave you!"
Riven's aura exploded outward —
the air trembled, stones cracked.
Elira dropped to her knees, gasping for air.
> Riven (coldly): "You can't even withstand this.
You'd only hold me back."
Elira collapsed; tears streamed down her face.
> Elira (whispering): "I'm sorry… for being weak.
But please… don't die, Riven…"
Riven looked away —
and walked off without a word.
Behind him remained only an echo:
the silence before war.
---
The Beginning of War
As Riven's forces marched out, Elira secretly followed them.
Her heart beat with both fear and longing.
She hid behind a tree, holding her breath.
Riven's words still rang in her mind:
> "You can't even withstand this… you'd only hold me back."
Elira lowered her head, whispering,
"Maybe so… but I can't leave you."
When Riven and his army reached the battlefield, the sky descended like a black curtain.
The world itself trembled — as if holding its breath at Vel's arrival.
Riven raised his sword to the heavens.
> "Vel! Is this how afraid you are of me?"
From above, among the cracks, Vel appeared — smiling mockingly.
> "Afraid? No, Riven. This is just… strategy."
Vel's army surged forward like a dark tide.
Riven turned back,
> "White Riven, ready?"
White Riven drew a deep, steady breath.
> "Ah yes… finally, it ends."
Riven closed his eyes — the demon's whispers echoed within.
Then, opening them again, crimson light tore through the sky.
> "CHARGE!"
The ground quaked.
Light and darkness collided.
And far away, hidden behind the rocks, Elira rose to her feet —
running toward Riven, as if to shout "Stop!"
But it was already too late.
---
The heavens cracked; even the stones seemed to hold their breath.
As Vel's army advanced, Riven's third eye read the air — sensing intent like rippling waves.
White Riven raised his hand, ancient binding words spilling from his lips.
White light spread through the cracks in the earth — the enemy faltered.
> "Attack!" Riven roared.
He was swift — soaring through the air, slicing the heavens apart.
Vel countered with childish fury — thunder flashed and rained down.
> Vel (snarling): "Damn it! Another binding spell?"
His guardians formed a shielded wall around him. "Protect me!"
Riven dove through waves of energy, his blade slicing like a crescent moon.
White Riven's spell crippled enemy movement.
Corven rushed forward, raising his shield.
> Corven: "I'll cover you, my lord! I've got your back!"
His voice shook, but his stance was firm.
Riven glanced at him — a rare flicker of warmth.
> Riven: "Well done, Corven. I trust you."
Vel's patience snapped. Dark chains lashed out, tearing the spell apart.
His eyes blazed red with arrogance. "Enough!" he roared, breaking free.
A bolt of lightning struck Riven, hurling him to the ground, shattering the rocks beneath.
Vel approached, smirking cruelly.
> Vel: "Look at you — kneeling before me, boy?
I won't spare you, but I'll enjoy watching you crawl…"
Riven stirred, blood on his lips — laughing, deep and unsettling.
There was no fear, only the scent of triumph.
> Riven: "Hahaha — you? Kill me?"
He spat blood. "Those two men won't save you this time."
(His gaze pierced Vel — those two men: Darel and another savior.)
Vel's rage flared. At that moment, a movement —
Elira burst from behind the rocks, running toward Riven, hands trembling.
> Elira: "Riven! Stop! Please!"
But war was a beast.
A spear flew from one of Vel's guards —
and struck Elira in the chest.
Time slowed.
Elira trembled, her scream drowned in the wind.
She fell to her knees, hands sinking into the dirt.
Her eyes locked on Riven — love, fear, regret, and resolve blending together.
Riven couldn't lift his head.
White Riven strained to reinforce the binding spell.
Elira whispered her final words:
> Elira: "I'm sorry… I couldn't leave you…"
And then — silence.
Elira collapsed. Blood soaked the soil.
Corven dropped his sword and ran to her — but it was too late.
Something inside Riven shattered — or froze forever; no one knew.
Only an echo remained: Riven's deep, hollow laughter.
---
Riven knelt and touched Elira's hands.
Warmth was gone — only blood dripped between his fingers.
Elira tried to smile faintly, voice fading to a whisper:
> Elira: "Sister… hey… sister…"
Her last breath was for Riven: "I… love you."
Riven froze. His gaze emptied; something inside him shifted.
He stood slowly, letting her hands fall.
All softness had vanished from his face.
Vel watched from above, smirking. He tilted his head slightly and raised one finger.
> Vel: "You were already dead," he said —
crimson tears streaming down his childlike face,
the mark of savage divinity.
Something inside Riven broke — utterly.
He no longer protected anyone; he destroyed what he once guarded.
His aura spread like a shadow — cold, sharp, death itself.
A scream tore through reality.
The universe shook; beings in distant realms felt the tremor.
---
Divine Realm — Whisper in Silence
An old man, Ax, touched his forehead nervously.
"Ax… did you feel that aura? The zet?"
Zet narrowed his eyes, answering quietly:
"Yes… an executioner is coming."
Ax took another step, voice trembling.
"Can you kill him?"
Zet shook his head. "Not now. Not yet."
---
Riven was no longer Riven.
Something inside had snapped, replaced by pure void.
Vel hesitated — true fear flickered across his face.
"I… won't win this war," he realized.
In panic, he retreated to his realm, pride collapsing into terror.
As he fled, Riven's voice shattered the air — not a shout, but a command that halted existence:
> Riven: "EVERYONE. STOP."
Time froze.
The wind, the falling leaves, even blood mid-drip — all hung still.
Riven walked through the halted world, silence wrapping around him.
He reached Vel, grabbed his neck —
the small god squirmed helplessly.
With cold precision, Riven hurled him into the dark rift —
into a pit of shadows.
When time resumed, Vel lay broken at the edge of his own realm,
breath shaking, face twisted in horror.
Those below watched in awe and fear —
Riven's true power was now undeniable.
---
Riven's voice still echoed,
the chill of frozen time fading slowly.
White Riven's face twisted with fury — something had cracked within him too.
That moment marked the beginning of Vel's end.
White Riven planted his feet, raised his hands skyward,
and sealed Vel's spirit to the grave.
Vel froze midair, bound by ancient energy.
> White Riven: "How dare you… kill my sister?"
It wasn't a question — it was judgment.
White Riven charged, merciless and precise.
Vel's resistance meant nothing.
He was torn apart — utterly destroyed.
The first death.
Silence followed, echoing through the battlefield.
Riven looked at White Riven — confusion and awe mixing in his eyes.
> Riven: "How… did you kill him?
I was supposed to."
White Riven stepped back, breathing hard.
> White Riven: "You thought he'd die so easily?
I won't let you have that."
Then — the unthinkable.
White Riven revived Vel.
A spark reignited the boy-god's body;
he gasped, bewildered, alive again — only to die once more.
And again.
Each time he rose, Riven struck him down.
Again and again.
A cycle of torment — killing, reviving, killing —
a cruel exhibition of divine dominance.
Vel screamed, mind shattering.
"Kill me… please…" he begged, pride long gone.
Riven approached, calm and merciless.
> Riven: "You don't die that easily, kid."
The words cut deeper than any blade —
White Riven's actions had gone beyond the point of no return.
---
Riven's Inner Monologue / Transformation
Something cracked inside him.
Where a faint spark of conscience once flickered,
now lay only a void — and a reckoning.
As Elira's blood dried on his fingers,
Riven could no longer recognize the thing rising within him.
The protector was gone.
He no longer fought to save — but to erase.
Each step was cold.
Each breath, deliberate.
This darkness was no longer a power — it was a choice.
I will protect no one ever again.
---
Warfront — Darel and Corven's Reactions
Darel:
Holding his bloodstained sword, he watched Riven's transformation with horror and awe.
Seeing Elira fall shattered something inside him.
Yet, as a leader, he focused on his duty — following Riven's commands, though doubt gnawed at him.
Is this man still one of us?
Each move became cautious, his loyalty tainted with fear.
Corven:
Corven's eyes trembled.
Elira's death broke him — yet also ignited survival and vengeance.
Riven trusted him, and that trust became a chain.
But White Riven's cruelty disturbed him deeply.
During battle, he almost challenged Riven several times —
his hand trembling on his sword —
but Riven's overwhelming power forced him back.
That retreat carved a deeper crack inside him.
Amid the chaos of war,
Riven's new identity echoed across the battlefield.
Darel and Corven fought not only the enemy —
but their own doubts, loyalty, and fear.
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