"Ugh... did I leave the curtains open...?"
"Why did the damn sun rise so early today...?"
I opened my eyes, instantly irritated by the blinding morning sunrays striking my face.
But I snapped them shut just as quickly.
I felt that cause the luxurious suite at the most famous hotel in London that cost me five hundred pounds a night was nowhere to be seen now.
Well, the bed was still here, and it was relatively intact. But the rest of the room looked like a localized hurricane had touched down inside it.
Clothes, bottles, and overturned furniture were scattered everywhere.
I pushed the heavy blanket off to stand up.
"Either I'm still asleep, or a storm has passed through London when I was asleep..."
I paused, blinking down at the mattress.
"And what the hell is this doing in my bed?"
With the blanket pushed aside, I realized two very concerning things: first, I was wearing a silk hotel robe with absolutely nothing underneath it.
Second, tangled in the sheets next to me was a bright red piece of lace that turned out to be a bra.
I lifted it up by one strap, staring at it in bewilderment.
"Damn. This is humongous..."
"...Do they even manufacture them this big?"
I dropped the bra and rubbed my face.
"Okay. I need to calm down."
I took several deep breaths, collapsing flat onto my back against the mattress.
"Let me try to rationally recall what happened."
"I remember checking into the suite at The Savoy last night after driving back from Soho."
"Then, down at the reception, I heard that some high-end fashion event was being held in the ballroom."
"And I... somehow decided to attend it? Which makes absolutely no sense for someone like me who actively avoids social events like the plague..."
"Yup. That isn't like me at all. What the fuck went wrong here?"
I massaged my throbbing temples.
"I'm being dumb. Why think hard when I can just ask. SYSTEM."
[Host, you were drunk and later you were high too.]
I opened my mouth to yell, but the System preempted me.
[I know what you are going to ask. Yes, it was my doing.]
[I deliberately bypassed your Tier 2 poison resistances and artificially increased the potency of the alcohol within your bloodstream so that it would actually affect you.]
[Before you get angry, I only did it because my diagnostics indicated that you have been severely stressed, down, and highly irritable lately.]
[According to behavioral data I scraped from the Arcane Network, when humans reach this psychological threshold, they require a 'release'.]
I opened my mouth to chew the System out for literally drugging me, but halfway through drawing a breath, I stopped as I realized that I wasn't even angry.
Instead, I was feeling more relaxed than ever, I haven't felt this genuinely since awakening my memories.
"Sigh..." I let out a long breath, staring up at the ceiling. "Okay. I admit it, you were right. But the next time you plan to do something, you must discuss it with me first."
[Noted.]
"Anyway, judging by the sheer volume of evidence scattered across this suite, I must have pulled some genuinely unhinged shit last night"
"I still have absolutely zero memory of anything that happened after I stepped foot into that ballroom."
"Whatever. Let me just take a shower. I have a flight to LA to catch today, anyway."
"I'll just deal with the fallout of my own forgotten chaos as it comes."
After taking a long shower I needed, I came out naked while wiping my hair.
Now that my head was somewhat clear, I finally took a proper look around the wrecked living area.
"Fuck... why is that pool completely red..."
I paused, spotting a small mountain of empty glass bottles piled near the marble edge.
"Right. Figures, someone emptied a small fortune's worth of red wine into it."
I walked over to the main lounge table; my eyes landed on a black bag lying on it.
"And what exactly is the deal with this?"
I unzipped the bag and stared inside.
"Okay, this is officially escalating from weird to straight-up illegal."
I reached in and pulled out a heavy, tightly wrapped plastic brick.
"Why the hell is there a massive bag of crystal meth lying in my suite? ...Did I do meth last night?"
I stared at the pristine glass crystals, growing more and more confused by the second.
Knock. Knock.
The sharp sound at the door snapped me out of my thoughts.
I dropped the plastic bag and quickly grabbed a fresh hotel robe before swinging the door open.
A tanned, blonde-haired man wearing a designer suit was standing in the hallway.
"Who are..."
I was tackled by a hug before I could finish speaking.
"Alister, my man! You are genuinely the coolest freaking guy I have ever met in my entire life!"
he yelled, enthusiastically slapping my back before stepping away with a massive, manic grin.
"Listen, if you ever come down to Mexico, you must look me up. I'm telling you, there is absolutely nothing I can't make happen down there."
"Man, if only I had more time to hang around and party. Sadly, duty calls! Gotta take the bag and run."
Without waiting for an invitation, he breezed right past me into the suite, heading straight for the table and grabbed the bag.
He walked right back out the door, disappearing down the lavish hallway just as quickly as he had arrived.
I stood there the whole time and only spoke when he left.
"Who the heck was that man..."
...
Putting aside the sheer absurdity of being hugged by a suspected drug lord first thing in the morning, I threw on the expensive clothes I had bought yesterday.
I needed to head down to the lobby and pick up the forged passport I had ordered.
As I walked down the lavish hotel hallway, I immediately noticed something strange.
'What the heck? Why is every other guy I pass staring at me with such profound respect?'
It wasn't just a passing glance, either. Wealthy businessmen in tailored suits were literally stepping aside to give me a wide berth, offering me deep, respectful nods as I walked by.
'Seriously, is there some massive piece of context I am missing here?'
Choosing to completely ignore the bizarre, overnight reverence I had apparently earned, I quickly made my way down to the grand lobby and approached the reception desk.
The girl sitting behind the marble counter was definitely different from the receptionist I remembered from when I checked in yesterday.
However, the exact second I stepped up to the desk, her face immediately lit up with a bright, familiar smile.
"Hey, Alister! How are you feeling this morning?"
"Great," I replied slowly, leaning against the counter.
'Seriously... what the heck did I even do last night? Does the entire city of London know my name by now?'
...
END OF CHAPTER
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