I knocked on the door and waited patiently.
It was only when I had almost begun doubting whether I had mistaken the room number that I finally heard a hesitant, faint female voice from inside:
"...Who is it?"
"It's me."
I answered, "Hina, it's me."
Another stretch of time that felt unbearably long to me, though in reality it probably wasn't very long at all, passed before a click finally sounded from behind the door, and it slowly opened halfway.
And at last, I was able to glimpse the pitiable, exhausted appearance of the Prefect Team President who usually always appeared strong.
Hina wore a simple pink nightdress with white dots, with a light beige cardigan draped over it.
Her long hair, already naturally fluffy in texture, appeared quite messy from being left untended.
And on that lovely face, the eyes that had still been sharp and resolute during the battle that afternoon had now become hollow. Against the backdrop of the dark circles beneath her eyes, more obvious than usual, they were filled with exhaustion.
SAUCE
Her condition was even worse than when she had fought covered in blood that afternoon. It was as if after enduring that battle, all of her spirit had been drained away.
To actually appear before the me she loved in such an unkempt state. Under normal circumstances, Hina would definitely already be blushing furiously and hurrying back to tidy herself up.
"Ah, Sensei..."
Her tone was deeply dejected as well. Barely moving the corners of her mouth, she gave me a faint smile.
"You're alright... that's good... How did you know this place...? Well, I suppose you're Sensei..."
I had indeed used Schale's authority to find out the location of Hina's dormitory. As the Prefect Team President with countless enemies, she paid extreme attention to protecting this kind of privacy. Even Ako didn't know where her dorm was.
"Sorry for making you wait so long, Hina."
I spoke softly.
"Can you let me come in for a bit? There are some things I want to say to you."
However, the white-haired girl's gaze instinctively began to avert itself.
"I... already... Sorry, Sensei..."
Hina's eyes gradually reddened, moisture slowly gathering within them. Even her voice carried the sound of tears.
"I can't do it anymore. I can't keep holding on anymore... so... I'm sorry, but I'm going to disappoint you... Please go back today... Just treat it as though I've already retired..."
"Hina..."
I took a deep breath.
"I'm not here to talk to you about that."
She was already on the verge of collapsing. If I still asked her to shoulder responsibilities that had long since become unbearable for her, could I even still call myself human?
"Anyway, can you let me in first?"
I didn't want to make things awkward like this either, but the effects of my injuries had genuinely exceeded my expectations.
In truth, my legs had already started to feel weak. If I kept standing outside any longer, I was afraid I would collapse from exhaustion before even finishing what I wanted to say.
"...Okay."
After hesitating for a moment, Hina gently nodded and stepped aside.
I thanked her and entered the room, placing my umbrella on the stand by the entrance. While changing my shoes, I quietly observed Hina's residence a few times.
Just as expected, much like its occupant, the decoration and furnishing were simple and straightforward.
But what drew my attention most was the desk beside Hina's bed and the bookshelf beside it, both piled high with all kinds of documents.
It wasn't difficult to imagine her appearance as she still made time to handle official work late at night after returning home, or after waking up in the early morning.
"Please sit wherever you'd like... Sorry, Sensei, my humble home is simple, so I don't really have anything to serve you... Would black coffee be alright...?"
Given Hina's personality, she probably didn't even keep milk or sugar at home.
So I said, "Tap water is fine. I'll pour it myself."
Soon enough, the two of us sat separately, me on the office chair and her on the bed.
"...Sensei."
Hina cautiously asked,
"If you didn't come to ask for my help... then what did you come to see me for?"
I couldn't help but laugh.
"Why does that sound like I only ever come to you when I need your help?"
"S-sorry."
Yet the attitude Hina showed was far more humble than I had imagined.
"That's not what I meant. Sensei has always taken good care of me too... Sorry, I misspoke... Please don't mind it..."
"That's not what I meant either, why did this suddenly become..."
I sighed.
"My bad, let's skip this topic."
I had always known that Hina's self-evaluation leaned rather low. She even believed she wasn't cute at all.
And in her current state, where her emotions had sunk to rock bottom, she naturally became even more sensitive and fragile. I needed to choose my words more carefully when speaking to her.
"...Okay."
She nodded, then tentatively asked:
"Then, Sensei...?"
I gazed into the girl's eyes and spoke sincerely.
"Thank you, Hina, for protecting me from Arius Squad. Really, I'm very grateful to you."
"...Eh?"
The girl hesitated for a moment, then replied as though it were only natural:
"You don't really need to thank me for that... Those were only things I was supposed to do anyway. And at that time, I..."
At this point, tears once more welled up in her eyes. Clearly, she had remembered what happened back then.
Sure enough, Hina said in a slightly choked voice:
"If I hadn't chosen to leave Sensei's side, maybe it wouldn't have..."
"Hey, don't say that."
I put on a serious expression.
"Let me tell you a secret. Actually, that was part of my plan too."
"...Eh? What do you mean by that?"
"Obviously, I got injured on purpose so that Saori, the Arius student who fired the final shot, would feel guilty and regretful for the rest of her life... Hey, don't look at me like that. What if I really did have some grand plan? My wounds are practically healed already!"
Suddenly, I found myself missing the unique mass-misunderstanding talents of Gematria.
At times like this, Aru's authority really wasn't very persuasive after all.
Hina looked on the verge of tears.
"At a time like this, how can you still comfort me with such a relaxed tone and such an obvious lie?"
"...Sorry. I really don't know how to comfort people very well."
I gave a bitter smile before continuing:
"But Hina, it really wasn't your fault. Even if someone has to be blamed, it should be me. So no matter what you think, I'm truly grateful for all your effort and everything you've done."
"But I..."
She stopped midway through her sentence.
I pulled my chair a little closer so I could reach out and pat her head, comforting her like a child.
"You already did more than enough. Really. Even you, Hina, don't need to force yourself so hard, and there's no need to carry so much pressure. If you want to retire, then retire. It's okay. Get some proper rest and don't burden yourself mentally. Leave the rest to me."
Borrowing and slightly adapting Kayoko's advice to me here seemed unexpectedly fitting.
"You...? W-wait, what do you mean by leave it to you...?"
"Don't worry."
I smiled.
"I was just ambushed before, that's all. Don't underestimate the fully prepared version of the person in charge of Schale, okay?"
As long as I called all the students I knew to help out, everything would definitely get better!
"Anyway, even if the sky falls, adults are supposed to hold it up first."
Yet after saying all that naturally, I realized that Hina's condition not only hadn't improved, but her emotions had become even more agitated.
"But I..."
Hina sniffed and quietly said:
"I... can't be like Takanashi Hoshino..."
"...Hoshino?"
I asked in confusion.
Why bring her up at a time like this?
"I'm not as strong as that Abydos vice president..."
Hina quickly cleared up my confusion.
"The Abydos student council president... the one who found her body was Takanashi Hoshino. That was someone incredibly, incredibly, incredibly important to her..."
That single short sentence contained shocking information that sent huge waves crashing through my heart.
I had never heard that the student council president of Abydos had already tragically passed away, nor that Hoshino had gone through such suffering.
But that was normal. Who would casually reopen their own wounds for others? Though I felt regretful, even if I had known earlier, at most I would only have gained greater understanding of some past events and shown Hoshino more tenderness afterward.
Still, so much time had already passed, and now she had precious juniors and an important lover. She had probably gradually emerged from those shadows already.
Temporarily shifting my attention away from Hoshino's tragedy, I roughly understood why Hina had brought her up.
Just as that Abydos student council president had been for Hoshino, I was likewise someone extremely important to Hina.
After witnessing me get shot with her own eyes, what kind of pain must have been born from the guilt of failing to protect me?
In a broken voice, she continued:
"Even after experiencing that level of pain, she could still continue fighting at Abydos... but I can't do that... I can't become that strong... At that moment, I already..."
I couldn't help but call out:
"Hina..."
Finally, the grievance and sorrow she had suppressed in the depths of her heart for so long reached the limit of what the girl could bear.
"I've already been trying my hardest too!!!"
The sudden, sharp cry echoed through the not particularly spacious room.
And that was only the beginning.
Large tears continuously streamed down the curve of her cheeks. Hina didn't even bother pulling out tissues, only wiping at them messily with her hands, yet no matter what she did, she couldn't wipe them clean.
As though she had finally found an outlet, she tearfully poured out her feelings bit by bit to me, the person she had always admired.
"I've always been trying hard, trying to solve every problem... Even if nobody understands me, I still..."
In Gehenna, Hina, who devoted herself to maintaining discipline, naturally had the sort of reputation among the students who constantly disrupted order that one could easily imagine.
Very few people were willing to understand her hardships. Most only feared and disliked her, thinking she was meddlesome, and some even targeted her constantly and deliberately caused her trouble.
Even so, Hina still silently continued doing what was right.
"But at the most important moment, I..."
Hina accepted the handkerchief I handed her, but merely clenched it in her hand without using it.
"I couldn't hold on. I left Sensei all alone. I couldn't make it to Sensei in time, and yet you're still comforting me like this... That's so unfair..."
I really was unfair.
But that was because I wasn't nearly as good as Hina imagined me to be.
"I also wanted... to be like Takanashi Hoshino and the Make-Up Work Club... I wanted Sensei to notice me more, I wanted to be praised too!"
Hearing that, I silently stood up.
And noticing my movement, Hina froze slightly before hurriedly trying to explain herself.
"N-no... um, Sensei, I was just... s-sorr..."
Hina was probably about to apologize again. So I knelt down on the cold floor and gently hugged her.
"I'm sorry, Hina. For not noticing your expectations... no, even though I realized long ago that you liked me, I still never gave you a proper answer. I'm truly sorry."
"...Eh? Sen-Sensei, what are you say..."
"I said."
Holding her warm body through the layers of clothing, treating her as gently as though she were a fragile treasure in my arms, I seriously whispered beside her ear:
"I like Hina too."
"...Ah, ah, Sen-Sensei? Wh-what exactly are you...? I, you... me?"
She had become so flustered that she couldn't even form a complete sentence anymore.
I let go of her and naturally sat beside her on the bed, sighing.
"I originally thought there was only a thin layer separating us, so taking things slowly would've been fine. But now it seems I was wrong. Sure enough, if nobody breaks that barrier, we can never truly confirm each other's feelings."
"...You really like someone like me? Someone who's not cute at all and only knows how to work?"
Hina asked me in disbelief. Then, as though recalling something, her expression became gloomy again.
"...Sensei, if you're just trying to comfort me, there's no need to go this far..."
My response strategy was to immediately swear to the heavens.
"If I'm lying to comfort you, then may I never..."
"Don't!"
The white-haired girl frantically reached out and covered my mouth.
"Please don't say something so unlucky!"
I blinked, then nodded. Only then did she finally relax and withdraw her hand.
"So Hina believes in this kind of thing too?"
I laughed.
"...What if Sensei's oath gets recognized as a 'contract'?"
Hina looked at me resentfully.
"Please pay a little more attention to things like that."
...Right. This was Kivotos.
I simply said:
"Even if that happened, it wouldn't matter. My feelings for Hina can withstand the judgment of heaven and earth."
After a moment of silence, Hina, cheeks flushed red, timidly looked at me and nervously asked:
"But Sensei... what exactly do you like about me...? Even I don't know what there is about me worth liking... Please, if possible, be more direct..."
I smiled confidently.
"First, your face."
"...You're really being far too blunt."
As she spoke, Hina lightly touched the side of her own face and said troubledly:
"But someone like me who has no idea how to dress herself up, always keeps a cold expression, constantly stays up late working, and has dark circles under her eyes every day..."
I replied sincerely:
"Which is exactly why you're naturally beautiful!"
"...Alright, I understand that part now. Anything else...?"
I immediately responded to her expectation.
"Then, your figure."
Hina became speechless for a moment.
"No, Sensei. Setting aside how straightforward everything you say is to the point that I don't even know how to respond... You even like this lacking figure of mine? Isn't that a little...?"
"I embrace all forms of beauty."
I gave her two fitting examples.
"Although Ako's type really is quite indecent, isn't someone like Hoshino adorable too?"
"Ugh... now that you mention it, you and Ako really are... No, that's not important right now... sigh."
She let out a quiet sigh. Her expression looked slightly strained, and even her questioning sounded more routine now.
"Anything else?"
After building things up this far, it was about time to wrap things up.
"Of course."
I took her hand and guided it to her chest as I spoke affectionately:
"More important than appearance is this part of you, Hina."
"...Didn't we already talk about figures just now? Or is this something so important to Sensei that it needs to be emphasized repeatedly...?"
"I'm talking about your heart! Your inner self!"
How had Hina misunderstood things in that direction? Was it because of the color of her pajamas?
I silently complained before saying to Hina:
"Appearance, including your figure, isn't enough to become the deciding factor for truly falling in love with someone, right? At first glance, doesn't Makoto look pretty too?"
"...Sensei, aren't you a little too open to anything?"
"That's why I'm saying!"
I changed examples.
"For instance, the reason Hina fell in love with me definitely isn't just because of my unparalleled handsome appearance. It's more because of my dazzling inner spirit, right?"
For some reason, Hina looked like she wanted to say something but held herself back. Only after a while did she cautiously answer:
"...Is it?"
What was with this frustrating feeling of wanting to get angry but being completely unable to?
I forcefully returned to the main topic.
"Anyway, what truly made me fall in love with Hina was, as expected, Hina's heart."
"...Compared to you, I'm just a selfish, clingy, immature child."
Hina lowered her head, her tone gloomy.
"The reason Sensei likes me must really just be because you misunderstand me... I'm not as good as you think I am. Compared to Takanashi Hoshino, I really... no matter how hard I try, I'm still this weak..."
I couldn't help saying:
"Actually, I think you might be overestimating Hoshino a little..."
"Really...?"
"Yeah. There were times when she almost couldn't endure anymore either, when both her body and mind were on the verge of collapse and she refused to trust anyone."
Recalling the past between Hoshino and me, from completely failing to understand each other to gradually building a bond, I said emotionally:
"What people admire is only ever the version of others that they themselves can see."
Thinking of that, I suddenly also felt the desire to confess something.
"...Hina, I want to tell you a secret. My real secret."
"Eh? So suddenly...?"
Hina hesitated briefly, then nodded.
"If you think it's something I can know, then I'll keep it secret for you."
"Sorry. Anyway, the truth is... I'm not actually the dependable adult you think I am either."
I smiled bitterly and revealed to the bewildered Hina a fact I had never told anyone before.
"I'm just an unlucky guy who lost his memories and, the moment I opened my eyes, got appointed as some kind of Schale's Sensei."