"Kurenai, you're not..."
Yūhi Kurenai didn't reply. Her small face flushed pink.
Shizune silently clenched her fists beside her. She definitely wouldn't let Kurenai take Kairen away from her.
This time, she had to follow Tsunade-sensei and train hard in medical ninjutsu, so she could help Kairen in the future.
Rin looked at Kurenai, who seemed to have found someone she liked, then glanced carefully at Kairen.
"I won't say much. If the Third Hokage hadn't been there that time, the Hokage's assistant and I would've chopped him up with two swings."
Rin studied Kairen, who had grown up quite a bit.
He did have delicate, handsome features—but he was a braggart. How could he compare to Asuma, the Hokage's own son? What did Kurenai see in him, anyway?
After eating, Obito boldly slammed a stack of bills on the table and waved his hand.
"Keep the change, Teuchi-san."
Then he turned, flicked his cloak dramatically, and strode off with all the flair of a rich young master.
But when Obito secretly glanced at Rin, he saw her chatting and laughing with Kurenai, not even noticing his cool exit.
Kairen sighed softly, walking past Obito as he muttered,
"Your image as a short, poor loser is already deeply ingrained. Trying to change it only makes you look worse."
"Dammit!" Obito clenched his fists. "Don't tell me I, Uchiha Obito, can't match Kakashi's charm? Should I use Kairen's trick to make Kakashi look bad?!"
"Kakashi, don't blame me. This is all for the right to mate first."
...
After leaving Ichiraku Ramen, the group split up. Kairen walked with Yūhi Kurenai and Shizune toward the Senju residence.
Passing by a dango shop, Kairen saw a girl with light purple hair happily eating three-colored dango.
When she spotted the trio, her eyes lit up and she waved at Kurenai.
"Kurenai! Long time no see—you're back from the battlefield!"
"Anko!" Kurenai called back.
Anko was a year younger than them and one of Kurenai's close friends.
As soon as Anko saw Kairen, she narrowed her eyes and scrutinized him. Then she snorted.
"Moku Kairen, did you really think changing into a gray vest would keep me from recognizing you?"
As Kurenai's friend, she naturally knew about the shameless guy who used to stick to her like glue—and had no reason to be nice to him.
Kairen put his hands on his hips and looked at the somewhat wild-looking girl.
"Little Anko, you'd better mind your manners. If I get in the mood, I might just turn your teacher into a snakeskin handbag."
Anko had been taken in as Orochimaru's disciple at a young age, which had caused quite a stir at the academy. Many students were envious of her.
But hearing Kairen insult her beloved teacher made her face instantly darken.
She pointed her dango skewer at him.
"Kairen, you dead last! Watch your mouth or I'll feed you to my snakes!"
Kairen snatched the dango from her hand and said,
"Stop eating this overly sweet stuff. I've seen the kind of books you keep behind you—it's disgusting."
"What did you say?!" Anko puffed up her cheeks. "These three-colored dango are my life! You tell me to stop eating them, and I'll really feed you to my snakes!"
Fuming, she pulled a kunai from her thigh holster.
Kairen crooked his pinky at her, his tone dripping with provocation.
"Come on then. If you can force me to move even one step, I'll be your slave for life—just give me some grass to eat in return."
Kurenai nudged Kairen anxiously.
"Kairen, don't hurt Anko!"
Anko chuckled at that.
"Hurt me? Kurenai, you're giving him too much credit!"
"I graduated top of the academy, while this dead last... Hmph. Time to show you my snakes!"
Kairen smirked.
"Show me your snakes? Fine. Then you'd better be ready to taste mine when you lose."
"You dead last! Watch yourself!" Anko readied her stance and lunged at Kairen.
Kairen looked down at her chest and sneered with mock arrogance, tilting his head disdainfully.
"With those tiny A's, you think you can slay a king like me? Ridiculous!"
His attitude infuriated Anko.
She gritted her teeth.
"Kairen, you came back from the battlefield without learning a single useful thing—but you sure perfected the art of being annoying! No wonder the shinobi of Sunagakure would chase you around with bloodshot eyes!"
"Oh! You actually got that right."
Kairen crossed his arms casually. Anko's eyes blazed with anger.
A fight between ninjas was about to erupt.
Kurenai shook her head and stepped back with Shizune.
...
At the entrance of the dango shop, a small boy with black hair and faint lines at the corners of his eyes ate a skewer of dango, watching the confrontation with interest.
He studied Kairen closely and murmured,
"Why does this guy feel so familiar? Almost like one of my Uchiha clan..."
Anko suddenly stepped forward, kicking off hard and flinging three shuriken in a flash.
Kairen didn't even open his eyes. It was as if he didn't see them—or simply didn't care.
The shuriken were about to pierce his chest when Anko cried out,
"Idiot! Move!"
She'd overestimated him. If he couldn't even dodge that, how had he survived the war?
Had he spent it all hiding in a hospital bed?!
Before the shuriken could hit, a gourd at Kairen's waist sprayed out a burst of water.
The stream engulfed the shuriken, washing them away.
Uchiha Itachi, watching from the sidelines, widened his eyes in astonishment at the strange jutsu.
At the same time, a whiff of alcohol spread through the air.
Anko sniffed and blinked in surprise.
"Sake?! Moku Kairen, what kind of Water Release is this? No hand seals—and that control is perfect!"
Kairen folded his arms, exuding that lazy, superior air.
"The shuriken of mediocrity aren't worth as much as a stone in the hands of a master. Top graduate of the academy—come on, try again. See if you can make me take a single step."
Anko's jaw tightened, veins bulging on her clenched fists.
"You bastard... you're infuriating!"
Itachi bit into his dango, eyes fixed on Kairen. The man felt strangely familiar—he even wanted to flick his forehead.
Anko stomped hard, charging forward with a kunai like a striking viper.
Kairen looked at her sidelong again, calm and dismissive.
Just before the kunai could stab into his shoulder, another surge of sake burst from the gourd, engulfing Anko and drenching her completely.
Kairen flicked a finger lightly, and the liquid-wrapped Anko rose into the air.
She choked down a few mouthfuls of sake, her cheeks reddening. Then she glared furiously at him.
"Moku Kairen! Put me down right now!"
Kairen drew her closer, the sake swirling around them. He looked at the soaked girl, a faint blush still on her face, and chuckled.
"See? I offered to be your slave, but you wouldn't even give me grass. Forget Orochimaru—come be my student. I'll teach you the arts of music, painting, calligraphy, and flute!"
Relaxing his control over the sake, he allowed her a bit of freedom.
Anko instantly shouted, freeing both hands to weave hand seals.
"You hateful bastard! Take this—Hidden Shadow Snake Hands!"
Her arm shot forward, and several snakes burst from her sleeve like lightning, fangs bared as they lunged at Kairen.
Kairen raised a single finger. The gourd splashed again, sending a rush of sake to envelop the snakes, cleansing away the filth.
Then he snapped his fingers.
The sake ignited, roasting the snakes trapped within the liquid.
Before Anko could react, Kairen hooked his arm around her neck, pinning her in place.