If there's one thing I learned as a father, it's that nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, will ever go according to plan. Especially not when they involve kids that are genetically half of you.
Hallowe'en night was supposed to be simple, I take the kids out to experience the joy of free sweets for the first time in their lives, then we finish off the night with a campy horror movie.
But the moment I saw the kids' costumes, I knew that simplicity went right out the door. Ai was dressed as Yor, Akira found plastic horns somewhere and was swinging his kanabo around like it was a toy, and the twins… well the twins dressed as each other.
Hikari was dressed as Maki Zenin, and Himari was dressed as Mai Zenin. From the amused looks on their faces I could see that they were enjoying every moment of it.
I loved them all for it though, they were my chaos brigade.
"Alright!" I clapped my hands together, stepping back to admire my brood of chaos. "Let's review; Ai is dressed as an assassin, Akira is a pirate, Himari and Hikari… you guys know you're dressed as each other right?"
"Tousan, that's the joke…" Hikari replied.
Himari, who was rocking Mai's outfit crossed her arms in a very convincing impression of her sister. "Yeah… and we still look cooler than you."
I put a hand on my chest in mock hurt, "Blasphempy! I'll have you know… your mother and I are going as ourselves… and that's iconic."
The twins rolled their eyes but their smiles gave them away. I harrumphed and brushed fake dust off of my Jujutsu High uniform while adjusting my blindfold. Hikari had borrowed my shades so I went old school.
Mitsuri stepped into the room, she had put on her old Demon Slayer uniform, complete with her haori and her nichirin blade. She twirled, making her skirt flutter as well as my heart.
"How do I look darling?" She smiled.
I stepped forward and gave her a kiss, "Absolutely stunning love…" I grinned.
"Ew!!!" The kids groaned.
Mitsuri and I just laughed.
[Scene Break]
They say that during Hallowe'en the veil between worlds is at its thinnest. I don't think they really understood what they meant.
The first house we went to, the door opened after the kids knocked and called out 'trick or treat'. The man that opened the door looked like he was regretting the holiday already. He had slicked blonde hair and an apron on.
He sighed… "Mitsuri-san, Satoru… kids."
"Nanami-chan, how've you been?" I grinned.
"Here… I'm busy, take these and go." Nanami handed out candy bars to the kids who looked excited until they got a closer look at the 'candy'.
Ai peeked into her bucket. "Uncle Nanami… these are protein bars."
"Yes…" he replied flatly, "sugar this late in the day will ruin your productivity."
Before I could say anything, Akira whispered to Himari, "Is he broken?"
Nanami just shut the door without another word.
[Scene Break]
The next house was a bit better.
Yuji opened the door as a zombie, Nobara appeared next to him dressed as a witch already taking selfies.
"Ai! You look so adorable… Mitsuri-san as well, your costumes are so well put together!"
"Thanks Nobara-neechan." Ai hummed happily.
"You look great too," Mitsuri giggled, "now if only Satoru would actually put on a costume instead of insisting he's too handsome for one."
The two side-eyed be as they whispered to each other. Meanwhile Yuji handed out candy to the kids. The kids thanked him, and Akira tried to 'recruit' Yuji into his pirate crew. Yuji agreed.
"Satoru-sensei where's your costume?" He asked.
"I'm wearing it."
"You don't look any different…" Yuji tilted his head.
"Exactly." I nodded.
"That's not how Halloween works man!"
I scoffed playfully, "Say that to my face when you can actually look me in the eyes…"
"W-what does me being short have anything to do with this?!"
I gave him a smug grin.
"I hate you."
"No you don't."
"No I don't."
By the time we got to Megumi's, the kids had already consumed a fair bit of candy and the chaos had tripled. Akira was trying to breathe fire, with a lighter he got from somewhere. Hikari and Himari had swapped costumes somehow, and Ai was glaring at random people we passed by.
Megumi opened the door wearing… shockingly… a dog onesie.
"… not a word. No even so much as a whisper." He muttered.
I grinned, "Nice costume, finally embracing your inner shikigami huh?"
Mitsuri giggled, "You look cute Megumi-kun."
He groaned, "You and my sister both… now here, take this candy and go before your son sets my door on fire again."
Akira smacked him on the shin with his kanabo. Megumi looked ready to give up on life.
"One time… it was one time. Who knew that a flaming bag of dog poop would cause your door to burst into flames." Akira grumbled.
[Scene Break]
We stopped by many houses along the route. Tanjiro gave everyone baked goods, Zenitsu handed out autographed boxes of chocolate.
Then came Inosuke.
We found him by a cabin decorated entirely with glowing pumpkins. Suspiciously, the houses along the way were missing a few pumpkins and I had a feeling I knew who the thief was.
The boar masked teen was wrestling with three raccoons when he spotted us. He jumped back on his feet and ran over.
"Shakoku Koko! Fight me!" He shouted.
"Trick or treat!" The kids cheered.
Inosuke turned towards them and shouted back. "TRICK OR TREAT! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!"
Himari leans towards Ai, "Ai-Neechan… should we tell him?"
"No," Ai shocked her head, "he's happier this way."
Inosuke, ignoring social norms as usual. Shoved handfuls of roasted chestnuts into each of my kids' Halloween buckets.
Akira blinked. "Uh… thanks?"
Inosuke refocused onto me, "Now! Fight me Shikoku Kujo!"
"That's not my name… and no, it's family night."
"COWARD!" He pointed at me.
I sighed, "Alright, get him." I motioned with my head.
My kids immediately understood the assignment. In the blink of an eye, Inosuke was dangling from a tree upside down with lengths of rope wrapped around his body.
"NANI!!!"
"See ya around Inokosuki!" I waved.
"That's not my… GAAAAAH! Get back here Danzako Kambo!"
[Scene Break]
The last stop for the night ended up being the Butterfly Mansion. Kanae and Shinobu opened the door with matching outfits. Kanao was holding a big platter of mochi between them.
"Ara ara… Satoru-san, Mitsuri-san… what a pleasant surprise." Kanae smiled.
"Hiya Shinobu-Neechan, Kanae-Neechan." Ai waved.
"Trick or treat!" The others cheered together.
"Ara… we don't have any treats, but we do have this mochi." Shinobu nudged Kanao forward gently.
Kanao glanced at us impassively while holding the latter of mochi. "They're very good." She muttered softly.
I slowly reached out for one, but Shinobu smacked my hand away. "Those are for the kids… these are for you."
She took out a smaller platter of mochi from behind her back and offered it to me. I glanced at it suspiciously, then my gaze flicked towards her innocent smile.
"These are poisoned huh?" I asked.
She cupped her cheek, "Oh my… how silly of me… I seemed to have grabbed the wrong ones by mistake. Here take these instead." She handed me yet another smaller platter, this time there was dango on it.
Just as I was about to grab one, Ai's mouth fell open in shock.
"They're all poisoned!" Ai gasped.
"What are you talking about?" Hikari asked as she munched away.
"Yeah, these are fine." Himari and Akira added.
"Raisins… there's raisins in these." Ai fell to her knees in despair.
Mitsuri giggled at our daughter being dramatic. Then she turned to me, only to see me in the same position. She sighed…