'HOLY FUCK!!!!! THAT WAS CRINGE AS SHIT! also HOLY FUCK ITS ACTUALLY HER! KANAE KOCHO.'
It hadn't been long since I was transported to this world. Around three months give or take… I had landed in a rice field butt ass naked after all. I had no way of telling time other than the days passing and I counted roughly ninety days before I lost count.
That's quick maths.
How I ended up here is another matter. This is the Demon Slayer world. Kimetsu no Yaiba was just a fantasy anime in my old life.
Who would have known that dying Elvis style, on the porcelain throne would be my ticket to isekai paradise and gaining busted ass powers then being promptly punted into another reality.
My busted power was both Gojo Satoru and Sukuna from Jujutsu Kaisen combined. Basically, I became what Gojo would have been if he had eaten all twenty of Sukuna's fingers.
Hilariously overpowered and with enough sass and chaotic energy to give Deadpool a run for his money.
What more, was that ROB had told me that if I finished the 'story' of this world, I'd be able to jump to another world. Even if it was a random world, I was still not one to turn down adventure.
See, I had lived a rather boring and stagnant life before. A dead end 9-5, a disloyal girlfriend, no real friends, crippling depression… you get my point.
Now here I was, disgustingly powerful, in a world where I could live out my fantasy of dunking on Temu Michael Jackson… yeah, I see this as an absolute win.
Back to the story though, I'm sure you'd rather be paying attention to what happened after I saved the Flower Hashira from the cultist freak Douma.
I walked slowly over to Kanae after dismissing my domain expansion. Douma was not recovering from getting turned into a fine paste.
Kanae was looking at me like I was going to eat her, and not in a fun way. Which to be fair, the four eyes and the tattoos was a bit much but it did help with intimidating people into not screwing me over.
Which was a common occurrence in 1900s Japan.
"Moshi Moshi… any body home?" I waved my hand in front of Kanae's face.
She blinked owlishly at me, "Ah… wha?"
"Look you're clearly in shock, I'll answer your questions later, right now you need medical attention. That injury looks serious."
Just like that, it was as if Kanae suddenly remembered that Douma had stabbed her and cut her on the arm. She teetered and fell forward. I caught her like the gentleman I was and held her in a princess carry.
'Achievement get! Mom… dad… I'm finally in my popular phase.'
Kanae just continued to look at me like I was batshit insane. Which, to be fair, I am… maybe a little unhinged.
From her point of view, I just out villain'd a supervillain and was now casually talking to her as if we were having Sunday brunch. I could see the thought bubble over her head now; "Nani the fuck is wrong with this man?"
"Earth to pretty lady… I kinda need directions to where to take you."
Kanae seemed to finally snap out of her daze, she muttered something under her breath, probably praising me… definitely praising me… before pointing off to a direction.
"Right, off we go!" I grin at her.
Three months in this world and I forgot the most important thing. I have no idea where anything is. Even with Kanae pointing out where I should be going it still took me well until the sun was high in the sky before we managed to get back to the Butterfly Mansion.
Kanae was taken by a few Kakushi and I was led away to another room. I had closed the extra set of eyes so as to not freak out the occupants of the makeshift hospital but the tattoos were still a bit much.
Nothing I could do about it now though, they were a permanent fixture on my body. I think. Thankfully I didn't have the extra arms and the freaky stomach mouth thing that Sukuna's 'True Form' was known for.
The four eyes were already a bit difficult to get used to, I couldn't imagine the adjustment period needed to adapt to having four arms much less a large mouth on my stomach.
I had a feeling I could probably take that form though, not that I would. I liked my sexy body the way it was, no need for any more body modifications. This wasn't Cyberpunk 2077, I didn't need an bazooka hidden in my crotch or whatever the fuck that game was about.
[Scene Break]
"…she was supposed to die, why is she alive. What happened? Canon is ruined, my knowledge will be useless… unless I kill her now… YES, she has to die so that canon isn't ruined."
As I was relaxing on the porch of the Butterfly Mansion, I heard some insane sounding muttering in one of the rooms. Raising an eyebrow I stealthily made my way over to where the voice was coming from.
Pacing at the door where Kanae had been taken through was the most aggressively Chinese looking dude I've ever seen in my life. He had a face that looked like it was covered in ten pounds of make up with how unnaturally smooth it was. His eyebrows looked extra funky with how pointy they were.
Even his face was a little ridiculous with his eyes being extra slanted and his lips being way too red to belong to a man.
Overall he looked like a Kpop idol that watched one too many Chinese fantasy movies. Even his hair was stupidly long and done up in a bun.
I listened to him rant about seemingly nonsensical things. At least, nonsensical if you weren't someone who won the Isekai lottery.
"Damn damn damn… Kanae… how… she was saved, who did it, I made sure no one was around the area. Douma should have killed her. Fine… in order to make sure Shinobu and all the jade-like beauties are mine. Kanae must die… I, Huang Ching Dong Piao, will kill her so that—
"Alright that's enough…" I walked in just as he was about to say some more wild shit.
He cursed in what sounded like Mandarin Chinese.
"… foolish brat! Kowtow before me!"
"Kowtow? Do you hear yourself?" I crossed my arms and stared at him.
"You who can't even see the glory of Mount Tai question me, FROG IN A WELL! I Huang Ching Dong—
"Right, Ping Dong whatever your fuckass name is. I'll give you one chance. Fuck off and never let me see you again or die."
"Che… your cultivation is weak! I am the Young Master of the Golden Yellow Sun Solar Dragon, kowtow before me!"
I rolled my eyes, the man was clearly delusional along with being a transmitigator. He also seemingly didn't realise who I was despite the fact that I looked like Gojo Satoru with Sukuna's tattoos.
Suddenly Shinobu came running in looking annoyed.
"This is a place of healing… Please don't raise your voices."
Ping dong whatever seemed shocked at her arrival. I grinned and beckoned the Insect Hashira over.
"Kocho-san… come here, listen to him." I said as I pointed at the chinaman.
She raised an eyebrow, and glanced at the seething transmitigator. He pointed a finger at me and proceeded to say some more dumb shit.
"Y-you! You dare expose me?!"
"No one exposed you, you idiot… you're doing that yourself." I drawled.
Shinobu looked at him funny, "Expose?"
"Che! You lowly peasants… you dare mock a native of the Dragon Country?!"
Shinobu tilted her head, "Huang-san… what are you talking about? Dragon Country? I've never heard of such a place in Nihon."
"Ra!!! You have made you last mistake! Take this! Spiral Dragon Golden Yellow Sun Divine Light!!!" Ping pong or whatever shouted as he rushed at Shinobu and I with his fist raised.
Shinobu hummed as the clearly deranged man rushed forward at a relatively fast speed. Unfortunately for him, 'relatively fast' was painfully slow for a Hashira, much more so for someone like me.
I put a hand on Shinobu's shoulder gently, "Let me deal with this Kocho-san."
She raised her eyebrow at me, but then gave me her patented smile. "Ara… you're my dear sister's saviour, I can not expect you to dirty your hands."
I snorted, "Relax… I'm not gonna touch him. I don't know what sort of diseases he's got."
We both turned to King Kong or whatever his name was, who was still rushing at us with his 'attack'. I raised a hand, my Cursed Energy broiled, I made a single seal with my middle finger twisted behind my pointer.
"This is definitely overkill, but I'm not wasting anymore time on Captain Dim Sum over here so… Domain Expansion… Unlimited Void."
I heard a little gasp from Shinobu as the world shifted around us. The deranged transmitigator froze in place as his eyes glazed over. An endless stream of useless knowledge flooded his mind as Satoru's domain was unleashed.
I made sure to keep it contained to the room we were in and to exclude Shinobu. She seemed intrigued by the sudden wave of energy and visual changes that my domain released. She then walked over to the frozen idiot and waved her hand in front of his face.
"Moshi Moshi… Huang-san? Ara… what did you do?" She turned to look at me when the frozen chinaman didn't respond.
"My power is filling his brain with so much useless information that the rest of his body has shut down. He's effectively frozen in place until I release this technique and even then, there's no guarantee that he won't be a vegetable for life."
"Ara… that's a very scary skill."
"I guess," I scratched the back of my head, "how's Kanae?"
Shinobu smiled, "Nee-sama is fine now. I managed to treat her wounds just in time thanks to you."
I let out a sigh of relief, "That's good."
I released my Domain Expansion, Shinobu and I turned to Huang Ching Dong Piao, still standing… though his eyes were now crossed and he was drooling.
"Yep… definitely not a canon character."
Shinobu hummed and turned to me, "Canon character?"
"It's a phrase," I cupped my chin, "meaning someone from here."
"I see, he appeared one day and started trying to ingrain himself with me Kanao… I was planning on getting rid of him soon."
The thought that the idiot was really bad at being a transmitigator almost made me laugh. Shinobu noticed my smirk.
"I never got your name…"
I hummed, I could give my name… but that would be a 'Bob Uchiha' moment. Japan was currently in the early 1900s. Not exactly isolationist but still rather closed off. I was already pushing it with the white hair and the tattoos.
'No sense in sticking out any more than I do already.'
"Satoru… My name is Satoru."
Shinobu paused, then nodded, "Nice to meet you Satoru-san… I'm Shinobu Kocho, the Insect Hashira."
I returned her friendly greeting, "So what now?"
She looked at me, "Kanae told me about your strange powers. But clearly you're not a demon, so I'll have to contact the Master to see how we proceed."
"Alright… do you have a spare room? I hate to intrude but I've been sleeping in the woods the last few days, it would be nice to finally sleep on something that isn't made out of twigs and leaves."
Shinobu giggled behind her hand, "Ara… please make yourself at home. I'll show you to a spare room."