Chapter 4: 4. The World's Thinnest Four Books (Seeking All Votes)
Several days had passed since obtaining the blue-haired magus's physique. After initial frustration, Dudley quickly adjusted.
Life must go on. Rather than blaming fate, he focused on self-improvement.
Thus Dudley immersed himself in Ripple technique training.
At St. George's Primary.
"Dudley, heard you visited Oxford Dragon School. How was the exchange program?"
Several burly boys in rugby jerseys draped their arms around Dudley, asking warmly.
Not all students feared Dudley. He wasn't a brawler seeking trouble.
As he claimed, he disliked complications.
Unless principles were violated, Dudley remained "refined and easygoing."
These rugby players weren't from St. George's but graduating boxers from nearby Smeton Middle School.
"Boring. Just a bunch of bookworms." Dudley bit into a hot dog, chewing vigorously.
[System notification: Consumed complete hot dog. Experience +1]
The mental notification brought immense satisfaction.
The Mage Cultivation System replenished energy through food intake, allowing Dudley to activate mundane life skills with experience points.
Those skills had zero magical connection—daily utilities per system explanation:
English, math, sciences, firearms, boxing, archery...
This "Mage Cultivation System" was stingy with magic-related rewards but generous otherwise.
Eating was the solution. Hence his "Food Guard" title.
Touching his food made you his enemy.
"I heard their students excel academically. Did our Mr. Dudley feel intimidated?"
"Good grades? Merely above average. Nothing special except rote learning."
Dudley waved, downing a cup of "happy water" in one gulp.
[System notification: Consumed complete happy water. Experience +1]
Recalling the Oxford Dragon exchange amused him.
He'd taught those bookworms unforgettable lessons—academically and athletically.
The memory of sniveling children running back with snot bubbles still made him chuckle.
Oxford Dragon School in Oxfordshire was a co-ed private primary, claiming to be Oxford University's preparatory school.
Preparatory university? Yeah, right.
Dudley's abilities deserved better than St. George's. The Dursleys chose it for low tuition—public school meant affordability.
Remember: the Dursleys supported both Dudley and Harry's education.
Their clothing told the story.
Harry wore Dudley's old uniform. Dudley's new clothes were plain fabric.
Plus Dudley's appetite made finances tighter.
Unlike their film portrayal, the Dursleys weren't initially well-off. Harry's primary school years were financially strained until two months ago.
Vernon Dursley—through his sister Marge's referral—secured a position at Grunnings. After closing a major drill order, their situation improved.
Now they discussed transferring Dudley to another school. Otherwise, Dudley wouldn't have participated in exchange programs.
But Dudley didn't want other schools. Mainly because Harry wouldn't be there. Dudley couldn't "fleece wool" without him nearby.
With private school fees, the Dursleys couldn't afford both Dudley and Harry attending together.
Even if they could, they wouldn't let Harry go.
His mother Petunia Dursley and father Vernon Dursley disliked Harry.
The reasons? Complicated.
After swallowing the last bite, Dudley spotted Harry exiting the school building with his backpack. He turned to his Smeton Middle School boxing friends: "Haven't stretched my limbs in ages. Care to spar?"
Silence.
After an awkward pause, they exchanged glances and made excuses.
"I have plans today."
"Mum wants me home early."
"Left my door unlocked."
Only Dudley remained.
Their good relationship with Dudley made them acutely aware of his terror. Sparring with him meant seeking abuse.
Dudley clicked his tongue: "Tsk. No fun."
He strode cheerfully toward his dear cousin Harry, draping an arm around his neck: "Let's go home together."
Watching them disappear down the street, St. George's students collectively sighed.
"God... Poor little Harry will be bullied by his wicked cousin again."
"So, you'll rescue him?"
"Don't joke. Are you sending me to my death?"
Rumors spread like this. Despite Dudley and Harry's good relationship. Well, Dudley thought so anyway.
They lived at 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey. Twenty minutes' walk from school.
Seeing Harry walking with head down, Dudley broke the silence. He pulled crumpled bills from his pocket: "Harry, this is 8 pounds 50 pence left from your glasses repair. Unsafe with you. I'll save it for your future wife."
"Alright, Big D."
Harry had heard this countless times. His ears were calloused.
Dudley smiled, tucking the bills back into his pocket. At this moment, he became Dudley Grinch.
Not that he was stingy. Every penny of Harry's was meticulously recorded. Dudley needed constant food intake to power the system.
Fortunately, most food converted to muscle. Otherwise, his appetite would make him Dudley Round.
Pushing open the duplex door, Dudley's sharp nose caught dinner's aroma. His appetite surged.
Truly, the world's thinnest books are: American History, German Jokes, Italian War Heroes, and English Cookbooks.
England indeed lacks notable cuisine. Besides fish and chips every housewife makes, few dishes stand out.
But no rule says Englishmen must cook English food. Petunia Dursley excelled at German cuisine. Her crispy pork knuckles tasted excellent.
(End of Chapter)