The blade tore through his ribs like it was nothing. A cold, precise pain that cut his breath short. He fell to his knees, eyes locked on the staggering silhouette of the drunk holding the knife, eyes glassy, drool on his lips. A fucking shitty end to an already garbage life.
As the blood drained from his body, warm and sticky on the cold alley concrete, his consciousness started to dissolve. But instead of the void, a strange thought came up, clear and sharp despite the agony. He remembered. Rimuru Tempest. That character from a shitty novel, also stabbed in an alley, who got reincarnated in another world with insane slime powers. A fucking great idea. Way better than what was waiting for him.
"Fuck, it'd be so cool if that happened to me," he thought, the last flickers of his consciousness fading. The very concept of prayer was absent. It was pure desire, a selfish, desperate wish thrown into the void.
And the void answered.
[Ding!]
The sound was mechanical, crisp, completely disconnected from the reality around him. It echoed directly in his skull.
[Host's wish acknowledged and granted.]
The voice was flat, without the slightest inflection, like a GPS announcing the end of the world.
[Initializing skill package: 'Slime Reincarnation.']
A list scrolled before his eyes, though he no longer had eyes to speak of. It was a pure mental projection, a litany of absurd powers.
[Unique Skill: Great Sage acquired.]
[Unique Skill: Predator acquired.]
[Extra Skill: Magic Perception acquired.]
[Extra Skill: Absolute Isolation acquired.]
[Extra Skill: Ultimate Regeneration acquired.]
[Extra Skill: Polymorphism acquired.]
Each announcement was a hammer blow driving a nail into the coffin of his old life. He was no longer the victim of some drunk asshole. He was… something else.
[All core skills integrated. Beginning dimensional transfer process.]
There was no tunnel of light, no angelic choir. Just a sensation of being sucked in, like a leaf in a torrent. The last fragments of his consciousness twisted under the strain, then everything went black.
---
The consciousness came back like a brutal hangover, but without the pain. Just a strange heaviness, a feeling of being both massive and tiny. He opened his eyes. Or rather, he tried to open his eyes. The perception was different. He had no eyelids to blink. He saw in 360 degrees, absorbing his entire surroundings at once.
He was blue. Translucent. A fucking gelatinous mass the size of a soccer ball. A slime. The concept was so absurd it took his mind—now aided by the cold logic of Great Sage—several seconds to accept it.
[Welcome, Host. Reincarnation successful.]
The system's mechanical voice resonated in his being again.
[You are currently in the world of Naruto, 3 years after the end of the Third Great Ninja War. Location: Forest north of Konoha.]
Naruto. Holy shit. The system wasn't lying. He was really in this world of shinobi and crazy jutsu.
[Initializing core system: Lustful Slime System.]
Here came the poisoned gift.
[Main Objective: Establish a harem consisting of the most powerful and notable kunoichi in this world. Priority list: Tsunade Senju, Kurenai Yūhi, Anko Mitarashi, among others.]
The Great Sage immediately processed the information, providing biographical data on each name, their abilities, their current statuses. It was overwhelming.
[Warning: Any non-consensual actions or those involving minors are strictly prohibited and will result in immediate revocation of all skills and permanent death.]
"No problem, asshole," he thought, his "body" vibrating slightly. He wasn't a rapist. A selfish bastard, maybe, but not a scumbag predator like the one who'd stabbed him.
[To facilitate integration and objective completion, the Host will receive quests. Failure or refusal of a quest will result in severe penalties.]
Typical. Give with one hand, threaten with the other.
[Initial Quest: Locate and infiltrate Konoha's cemetery. Objective: Analyze the burial site of the First Hokage, Hashirama Senju. Reward: Increased chakra storage capacity. Penalty for failure: Permanent 50% reduction of current chakra reserves.]
Fucking system. Day one, and it's already asking him to mess with the dead. But the reward was tempting. And the penalty, straight-up deadly.
He "looked" around. The forest was dense, alive. He could feel chakra flowing in the trees, the insects, the earth. Magic Perception. It was like seeing the world through a new lens, an extra layer of fascinating reality.
He tried to move. His gelatinous form rippled, advancing slowly, absorbing the soil's moisture and small plants in his path. Predator worked instinctively, analyzing and digesting organic matter to convert it into energy. Ultimate Regeneration ensured even minor damage was instantly repaired.
He was no longer human. He was a thing. A thing with a fucking purpose.
The Great Sage devised an immediate plan. Konoha was south. He needed to familiarize himself with his new abilities, grow stronger, then find a way to infiltrate the village without getting turned into goo by patrolling ninjas.
He focused on his form. Polymorphism. The skill responded. His gelatinous mass trembled, compacting, gradually taking on a basic humanoid shape, like a crude clay silhouette. It was a start.
A cold determination filled him. His first life was over, cut short by a loser's blade. This new life, he'd build it with the tools he'd been given. He'd become strong. He'd survive. And he'd collect these women—not as trophies, but as the cornerstones of his new power.
The blue slime, now fueled by fierce will, began to move, gliding silently between ancient trees, heading toward the hidden village of Konoha. His legend, as slimy and ruthless as it was, had just begun.