Honestly, I didn't expect to write this. But as I wrote the next chapter, I thought, you know, I don't have to just allude to Taiga and Saber Lily's first interactions. I can write it instead and have fun there!
So, yeah, this is a short fluff chapter. That said, I had quite a bit of fun with it so it serves my purposes. Also, this chapter was written in honor of the Saber Wars event in NA FGO.
"Ah, hello," Saber Lily stood up to greet Shirou's guest with a respectful bow. Judging by her Master's response to the intruder, she was expected.
Though the shade of red on his face was a surprise and slightly worrying. Had she messed up somehow?
"I am Saber Lily and I am here to visit and learn. Shirou was kind enough to make breakfast for both of us. Nice to meet you!"
"Nice to meet you too," Taiga greeted with a return bow. "But why are you taking my 5-star breakfast and my cook!"
"That was a 5-star breakfast?"
Surprise lanced through her heart and head as she wheeled around to face Shirou. "Thank you very much, Mas-Shirou!"
She wasn't supposed to call him Master, Lily remembered. Shirou wanted her to call him by his name.
"No, it was pretty slap-dash," Shirou scratched his head. "Not my best work. Nowhere close to 5-star or even average."
"Mast-" Taiga's eyes narrowed. "What were you going to call Shirou?"
"Master," Lily honestly replied. Shirou had just smacked his own face. Why did he do that?"
"I thought it was 'Mister', not 'Master' nowadays," Taiga folded her arms and glared at Shirou.
"Unless…Shirou!"
"What?" Shirou looked wary like he was walking into a trap but had to go anyway."
"Did you and she get up into kinky roleplaying sex with bondage, dominance, sadism, masochism, and elements?" Taiga pointed asked."
"What?" Lily was unsure if it was Shirou or her who yelled that or who was blushing harder.
"What? No! We didn't!"
"And the marriage proposal?" Taiga maliciously stalked forward; her hands held like claws."
"What marriage proposal?" Saber asked, her blush not going down."
"She just liked the miso!" Shirou shouted suddenly."
What did miso have to do with marriage? Was it associated with marriage?
But the Grail told her that miso soup was a standard Japanese breakfast.
"And who was the miso for?" If Taiga was a cat, her tail would be bushy and puffed up, as her anger poured out of her."
"For both of us," Shirou answered."
"What about breakfast!" Taiga whined."
"You don't come to eat on Sunday unless it is a special occasion," Shirou put up both of his hands. "I didn't even know you were coming."
"But I was looking forward to my 5-star buffet breakfast with all of my favorites!" Was she crying? She had tears welling up in her eyes. Real tears."
But Lily guessed that if she arrived too late only to completely miss one of Shirou's breakfasts, she might be sad too. Especially if his usual breakfast was even better! But still, to the point of crying?
"What do think I am, a cook show host?" Shirou sarcastically asked. "I'm not that good."
"And she ate it all!" Taiga's arm shot out, pointing at Saber. "Where's my breakfast!"
"At your home," Shirou answered."
"Shirou!" Taiga roared and leaped at him."
"No!" Saber blurred to interpose herself and protect her Master, arms outstretched. This Taiga seemed really angry."
Taiga's weight and body crashed into Lily, knocking them both down into the table. Tumbling over their sides, the two rolled across the table, chopsticks clattering as they were displaced, until the pair rolled off the edge of the table, away from Shirou.
"Get out and give me back my breakfast!" the hungry Taiga bellowed from atop Saber."
"It's gone and not your breakfast!" Saber denied."
"And you leave!" Taiga commanded as she broke away from the pile on the ground."
"I refuse!" Saber crossed her arms as she sat up. "I was helping out all night and I have an obligation!"
"All night!" Taiga wailed."
"Well, more of I arrived half-way through the night and helped Shirou." Saber defended her actions. "I refuse to leave as it would leave my duty unfulfilled!"
"Shirou, how could you let a girl sleep over!" Taiga wheeled on Shirou. "What would Kiritsugu say if he knew about this?"
Kiritsugu, Kiritsugu, it sounded familiar like someone her older self would know.
"He'd be happy," Shirou folded his arms and nodded after a moment of thought with his eyes closed. "He'd say something about a man's resourcefulness."
"Ugh," Taiga flinched. "You're, you're right. Kiritsugu was really indulgent with girls. But why did you have to inherit it, you dense idiot!"
"Says the one who benefitted the most from it," Shirou muttered loudly. Saber Lily guessed it was supposed to be said under his breath though. Kind of rude to call it out like that. But maybe it was ruder to be the one exploiting it?"
"I don't know who you are talking about," Lily began, folding her own arms and putting aside the question of propriety in Japan.
"But I will not leave my post under any condition! I will defend Shirou, his home, and his breakfast!"
"I can tell where the priorities of you two are." Shirou threw in."
"He doesn't need a defender, he has me!" Taiga shot back."
"Then more people won't hurt." Saber Lily was full of conviction, the emotion firming up her heart."
"But that will mean I will have to share with more people!" Taiga looked grief-stricken."
"Sharing is good for you, Taiga," Shirou encouraged."
"But that means less for me!"
"There must be sacrifices made for the greater good," Lily nodded as she closed her eyes in satisfaction at her point."
"But I don't want to make a sacrifice! And if there are more guards on the food, then there will be less food to pay the guards! We'll have to fight over it!" Taiga proposed as she slapped her dress's pocket and frowned at nothing being there. "In the dojo!"
"I accept your duel." Saber Lily proudly accepted. "The time is when we both get there!"
"As the owner of the house, shouldn't I get a say in this?" Shirou wondered."
"No." Came the reply."
"I'm defending your right to say it, Master!" Lily supported even as she chased after Taiga."
"But not enough to actually listen to it." Shirou concluded before sighing and resuming his cleanup of the breakfast table. Which was now a bigger mess than before he had started cleaning up breakfast."
Saber Lily was too focused on the upcoming duel to listen to a now distant Shirou. She was excited at the opportunity to face off against an Eastern swordsman. Taiga was obviously a swordswoman as she moved like one!
Arriving quickly, the two hungry young women (Hey, it's Taiga, do you want me to get hurt too—Shutting up) raced for the wooden practice swords, Taiga arriving first because she knew where they were.
The older woman (hey, stop that! Bad kitty! Stop biting me, stop biting me! Fine!) young woman grabbed one before pausing and grabbing a second that was off to the side.
"Here!" She yelled as she threw the second high into the air even as she struck down at Lily's unguarded head."
Lily deftly dodged the strike and caught the flung blade. Side-stepping a second fast-as-the-wind blow, Lily gripped the received blade and faced her opponent.
"Ah!" Taiga complained even as she lashed out with an overhead strike. "You dodged my early strike."
"I know I said the duel would begin when we both arrived," Saber Lily dodged consecutive blows as she hefted the blade and tried to get a good grasp on its dimensions and weight. Lily frowned as the sword seemed off… workable but off. "But striking without a formal announcement is unchivalrous!"
"Losers weep!" Taiga denied as she lashed out. This time Lily set her blade to block. "And victors eat!"
Lily's sword smacked into Taiga's in a perfect parry-
-and folded in half, letting the other sword sweep in and smack Saber in the white dress covered torso.
"Chest!" Taiga yelled before raising her sword in triumph. "My victory!"
"What!" Lily stared at her foam sword before her head snapped to Taiga, the fire of righteous indignation burning in her heart. "That-That's cheating! Giving me a faulty sword like this!"
"It is still my victory!" Taiga taunted proudly, not caring about how dirty her victory was. "Loser has to leave."
"Rematch!" Saber disgustedly threw the toy sword to the ground. "I demand a rematch!"
"I will still win," Taiga tapped her own body with the tip of her sword smugly. "No difference."
"With a proper practice sword, I would defeat you!" Saber Lily insisted. She would defeat this cheater! She would bet Taiga isn't even a real swordsman!"
"The barking of sore losers is nothing to a winner," Taiga smiled."
"I'm not a sore loser and you aren't even a true swordsman!" Saber denied."
"Oi!" Taiga's eyes narrowed. "I am a black belt. I'm a better swordsman than you'll ever be."
"Then prove it." Lily challenged as she darted over to where Taiga had pulled her real wooden sword. Pulling a real wooden sword out, Lily spun around to meet Taiga's eyes. "Two out of three!"
She would humiliate this pretender! She would beat her twice for inflicting such a low-honor defeat upon her! Only big brother Kay could do that! And she disliked it when he did it. She would give twice the bitter ashes of defeat unto this scoundrel!
A few quick moves and the arrogant Taiga was watching her own sword fly out of her hands.
"My win." Saber couldn't hold back the smile at her just and righteous victory over the forces of dishonor."
"Best of three!" Taiga yelled as she jumped up and grabbed her sword again."
"Of course!" Lily smiled like a lion would. "Dirty cheaters have to suffer twice what they inflict."
"Best of five!"
"Hah! I won this time!"
"That's cheating too!"
"Then prove it!"
"I will!"
"Best of seven! And this time you won't be able to cheat by kicking like that!"
"Best of nine!"
"Hah! That's my fifth victory! Now you have to leave."
"That was a draw and you know it!"
"Best of seventeen!" Taiga panted as she bent down to pick up her sword. How was this swordswoman not tired while she was panting? Taiga had used every trick and technique she knew and this Saber was just getting better at not falling for them. Now it was matches of pure skill! And while Taiga was better, Lily was almost as good! Ignore the fact that Lily's score was higher!"
"Um," Shirou's voice interrupted, breaking into the haze of a good fight. "I was just going to tell you that lunch is ready."
"Really?" Lily's face lit up as she turned to face Taiga's boy."
A chance! Taiga lashed out, striking for the unguarded back.
Lily instantly spun, not back around but to the side, body curving to face Taiga even as her sword came up to block.
But Taiga had built up too much momentum. The swords met with a thunderous clash. That was soon followed by several more rapid strikes as Taiga seized upon the advantageous momentum of her moves.
"The food is getting cold." Shirou reminded as the two started dueling again, causing the two to stop. Food or swordsmanship? Swordsmanship or food? To be hungry? Or not to be a winner? That is the question. Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer-"
Taiga's stomach let out a growl. Odd, usually her stomach grumbling didn't have an echo like that.
Shirou's raised eyebrow was pointed at Saber whose cheeks turned slightly red.
Oh. Oooh.
"We'll take this to the dining room!" Taiga declared, seeing a way to switch the arena into one she was more confident in. No one would beat her speed in eating!"
"Messiest eater loses," Shirou inserted."
"The one to eat more wins!" Taiga insisted."
"I'll be the first to the table!" Saber declared, running to the rack and putting away her current sword. They had had to replace a few as the two high-level swordmasters had fought with all of Taiga's might."
"I will!" Taiga insisted as she started running. Tired? Who was? Not her!"
"Okay, you can stay," Taiga admitted as she laid back, stomach now groaning from being too full. "No one who fights like you and appreciates good food like that can possibly be evil."
"You too," Saber nodded in approval. "Though, your dirty tricks should be removed from your arsenal. A true swordmaster doesn't need them!"
"Hey!" Taiga protested. "I practiced those! They are as much a technique as any you used. Plus, you're too naïve and gullible."
"Am not!" Lily huffed."
Shirou yawned as he worked to clean up the kitchen as the two squabbled. It had been a long day. When did he last sleep again? Was it last night? Or the night before? And going through most of his food storage to keep the two fed required that he cook fast.
At least he had been able to eat a little while cooking after realizing that anything he left on the table, even the portions on his plate, would just go down one of two ravenous maws. But they would leave the kitchen alone so any food he put onto his plate out here would stay here.
Still was a bit hungry though.
Things quieted down and Shirou glanced over his shoulder. Taiga was sleeping, her bulging stomach telling why she was out like a light. Exhaustion and digestion. Opposite her, Saber Lily was resting her eyes, looking warm and comfortable as she relaxed. And unmentionably cute, in Shirou's opinion.
Shirou yawned again. After finishing these dishes, he should probably get some sleep too. He needed it after such a trying night and day.