If she could travel through time and go back, Tohka would probably return to the night when Senya confessed to her, pinch her own neck hard, shake herself, and warn herself to stay alert.
Just recalling that night made her feel incredibly embarrassed—as if her toes could pierce through her shoes and dig a three-bedroom apartment into the floor.
She should have acted more reserved, more rational, just like she had always done in front of Senya.
Instead, she had turned into a predatory woman, silently welcoming his every bold move, even feeling a faint thrill, and responding actively.
It was really bad.
She kept thinking that there must have been a better way to handle things back then…
It had been three days since they returned from the beach.
The yacht trip had been lively and fun, a cheerful outing for everyone.
Rokka had taken countless photos, covering every combination of friends, and even Eriri and Shiho, who usually didn't get along, had been persuaded—albeit reluctantly—to pose together, maintaining a fragile façade of harmony.
After returning, Rokka had the photos printed in multiple copies and sent them to everyone from the trip.
For Tohma Kasa, who had often remained on the fringes of the friend group, Rokka had personally delivered hers.
Kasa, outwardly cold but warm inside, slowly accepted Rokka's kindness once she recognized it, returning the same warmth in turn.
This trip had greatly shortened the distance between Kasa and Rokka, strengthening their friendship.
Everyone had a wonderful time—except Tohka.
She was genuinely happy to hear Senya's confession, knowing his feelings for her were so passionate.
But her happiness wasn't simple—it was tinged with complexity.
After the initial emotional rush faded, as she reflected on their relationship, she realized there were too many unresolved points.
Among them, besides the current state of their relationship, the one she couldn't ignore was Saeko.
From her diary, Tohka knew that Senya was currently dating Saeko.
So what did it mean that Senya had confessed to her, and she, when pressed repeatedly by him, admitted she liked him?
Was this a "knowingly doing wrong" scenario?
Even knowing they were a couple—just not publicly acknowledged—she had deliberately ignored that fact in the moment, immersing herself in the intimate atmosphere, acting on her own desire to be close and embrace him.
The night they returned on Sunday, after showering and calming down, this thought popped into her mind.
Since then, even when she tried to suppress it, she couldn't fully ignore it.
Her moral compass kept reminding her of her impropriety in this relationship.
Senya confessed, she admitted her feelings—but they hadn't explicitly agreed to date or be together officially, so technically, there was nothing to feel guilty about.
No! That reasoning was way too brazen!
They had hugged, kissed, even shared a bed at night—there was no way that could be considered "nothing."
Bound by her moral conscience, Tohka fell into a spiral of self-denial, losing both the mood and courage to respond to Senya's subtle or overt attempts at closeness.
For the past three days, she had been intentionally avoiding him.
Locking her door at night, deliberately reducing time alone with him.
Trying to think clearly—but it wasn't easy. This was a knot that didn't untangle easily.
Of course, Senya noticed.
That Sunday night, he had sensed Tohka's state but didn't pay it much mind.
He mistook her reaction as the delayed shyness he expected—coming to terms with knowing him, then accepting it, then adapting.
He thought she would quickly work through it, and he would soon enjoy the shameless happiness from that hotel night.
But after a few days, he realized she hadn't improved as expected, and a knot formed in his mind: this was a problem.
After a few gentle tests, he quickly identified the reason.
It was Saeko.
Not surprising.
Senya had never intended to reveal their relationship only through the diary.
When the right moment came, he would confess to Tohka in person, explaining the diary's true purpose.
He knew how such misunderstandings—mutual affection with secrets—could lead to tragedy in literature and media. He wasn't going to make that mistake.
Finding the right timing, however, was difficult.
Tohka was already full of inner turmoil. Senya couldn't predict how she'd react if he revealed everything now.
Without certainty of her acceptance, he wasn't willing to take the risk.
But if he didn't clarify about Saeko, he couldn't resolve Tohka's mental knot.
He couldn't rely on Saeko's side either, since he had explicitly promised Tohka he wouldn't tell anyone.
No matter how he thought about it, every approach hit a dead end.
Senya's mind spun; he couldn't find a good way to ease Tohka's current state.
Could he just let her work it out on her own?
If she couldn't, how long would he wait?
Their relationship would remain no different from before—unable to hug her when he wanted, before or after the confession. He groaned at the headache this caused.
Thinking under such a headache was impossible.
Then, the situation unexpectedly shifted thanks to the gentle, refined kendo girl's unintentional intervention.
Friday afternoon, after school.
With no obligations, Senya went home briefly with Rokka.
Tohka wasn't home.
Her school was closer, and usually, she arrived first.
Recently, however, she had been coming home later.
Yesterday's reason: participating in a culinary club activity.
The day before: shopping with friends.
Today: she'd planned to visit her mother's store, help if needed, and return home with her in the evening.
Reasonable enough—but Senya still suspected she was avoiding him.
"Phew… it's so hot! Senya, I'm cutting the watermelon—how much do you want?"
"I'll pass. Cut less. By the way, I'm heading out. Can you manage dinner yourself?"
"Heading out? Where to?"
"To Saeko's for kendo practice."
"Oh, go ahead. Don't worry about me—I'm not hungry in this heat, I'll just eat more fruit later."
Senya quickly showered, changed, and headed to Saeko's house.
As the kendo club captain, Saeko had announced free practice after school, giving out the dojo keys to others.
She had arrived home early, already waiting expectantly for Senya.
They had agreed not to overindulge in the past, keeping their physical interactions—though enjoyable—within reasonable limits, about twice a month, to avoid exhausting her body.
Senya realized "vulnerability" applied to more than just men.
"Saeko, I saw fresh blueberries and melons at the fruit shop… we can eat them together later… um, maybe I should put my stuff down first?"
As soon as Senya stepped into the Dosjima home, Saeko embraced him.
Without a word, she pressed her face to his chest, breathing him in greedily.
He was led past the living room straight to her room.
This wasn't the first time.
Every time he saw her in such a state of longing, it filled him with excitement and satisfaction.
This side of her was only for him, a secret he alone enjoyed.
He drew the curtains.
This time, Saeko didn't coil around him like a soft snake.
She sat on the bed, patting her thigh.
Eyes glowing dangerously red, she said with restraint:
"Senya, I want to try a different way today…"
By "different way," she meant having him rest his head on her thigh while she leaned over him like a mother cradling a baby.
It felt good mid-session. Afterwards, Senya cradled her, gently pressing his fingers to her forehead.
"Saeko, that wasn't like you… why that approach?"
"Senya, didn't you like it?"
"I did, but it caught me off guard."
"I… got it from something erotic."
"Saeko, that's naughty—you can't be looking at that stuff."
"I just wanted to make you happy… Eriri drew it really well. If you have time, you can check it out too."
"???"
"What's wrong?"
"You mean you learned that move from Eriri's drawings?"
"Yes. But I didn't ask her directly—I accessed her paid online account secretly. No harm done, right?"
"Right…"
Knowing Saeko got it from Eriri, the awkwardness vanished instantly.
Still… it felt strange.
She had directly applied poses from Eriri's book into their practice sessions.
In a way, Eriri was unknowingly involved in their interactions.
Although a little indirectly…
Senya shook his head, recalling the elastic peach-shaped butt of Eriri running ahead of him on the beach.
After resting together, he carried Saeko, now too soft to walk, to the bathroom for a joint bath.
At dinner, he noticed her glancing at him, hesitant to speak.
"Saeko, you don't have to overthink. Just tell me."
She blinked rapidly, touching her cheek.
"Was I that obvious?"
"Yes—glancing up and down, picking all the food… very noticeable."
Having been exposed, she finally confessed:
"I do have something to tell you… about Shiho."
"Oh? What's up with her?"
"She's having some issues, but before that, I need to confess something to you."
"Confess?"
"Yes… I'm sorry I acted on my own without telling you…"
Pausing, she saw Senya's expression remained gentle.
Recalling how he had been so tender in the bath, cleaning her toes, she let go of her worry and said it all:
"…I've been intentionally encouraging Shiho to pursue you."
…
Want to unlock up to 60+ early-access chapters and exclusive novels? Join my Patreon today and dive deeper into the adventure!
patreon.com/sabu19
...