"Where in the world did you learn to drive?" asked Luvia as her head was nearly smashed into a window yet again.
A question that Shinji dearly wanted answered himself as he struggled with the seat belt to avoid strangling to death. If he was going to die today, then it was going to be by something more awesome than a seat belt, thank you.
"My legal guardian was a yakuza princess" said Shirou as he calmly curved the car around an air borne rocket propelled grenade "I asked her grandfather to have some of his best men teach me their trade over the summer break."
So much for being a hero of justice Emiya. For a moment Shinji actually considered feeling proud of Shirou's descent from grace but experience told him that he would soon be very disappointed with whatever came out of the redheads mouth next.
"They were all very excited to learn that I was planning on going into humanitarian work and put in a lot of effort into helping me out" said Shirou as he sped down the road "Unfortunately, because of their criminal activities, I ended up spending more time fighti- err, I mean reeducating them on proper civility than anything else so we only had enough time to skim over the basics."
Kind of like that. Was it any wonder that the redhead had a few screws loose when those were the kind of people he hung around with when growing up? Shinji honestly regretted not being around to bos- help out the young man when they had both been younger. Shinji was certain that he would have made for a much better influence on the Emiya than the likes of Fujimura-sensei.
"I don't know whats worse" said Luvia as the car was rattled by another explosion nearly causing them to flip over as the car momentarily drove along two side wheels "that you were trained by criminals to fight criminals or that you have the nerve to call this basic!"
"Epic car chases are just one of the many things that a hero of justice might need to know" said Shirou as he briefly checked the rear view mirror after the car slammed back down onto all fours "like abduction, espionage, hacking, and causing pointless massive explosions."
And suddenly this whole hero of justice thing was starting to sound kind of cool to Shinji… wait… what was that last one?
Without a word Shirou put on a pair of traced sunglasses right before he swerved while hitting the breaks and then rammed one of the pursuing cars into a nearby gas station causing an explosion that sent the entire structure up in flames. The explosion generated a powerful gust of wind that slammed a large cloud of smoke and dust into the streets blinding lesser drivers who were not Yakuza trained.
With a lurch the battered car burst forth through the cloud trailing a stream of smoke.
"We are saving the more advanced stuff for next summer" noted Shirou as he raced through a red light "until then I can only claim to be second rate."
"You just blew up a gas station in the middle of London" said Luvia as she looked back in disbelief.
"It's not like anyone else was around after the Nazi's took it over" said Flat helpfully "besides, a few mundane explosions caused by mundane means aren't going to reveal the existence of magecraft to anyone."
"Do we have any ideas on who they might be targeting?" asked Shinji with a grunt as he was banged into a window by a hasty turn. Shinji was starting to suspect that the redhead was doing that on purpose.
"I'm rich so they might be out to ransom me" admitted Luvia before looking away a small flush "…and my family has made a lot of enemies over the years so it could be that."
"It might just be my parents trying to assassinate me again" noted Flat as he stared out the windows "but then again their plans were usually far more elaborate and ruthless than this."
"They set up a bounded field, a team of snipers, several pursuit vehicles, and clearly bribed the entire London police force given that there hasn't been any response yet" said Luvia ducking as the car was hit by several bullets "how can they possibly get more elaborate and ruthless than that!?"
"Well" replied Flat thoughtfully "there was this one time that they summoned cute little ponies to kill me. Things got pretty messy after one of them almost blew up Fem's Casa and a golem castle got involved."
For a moment Shinji considered adding his own two cents about family night at the Escardos house hold, but then he remembered that most of his own family in the last few generations had an unfortunate tendency of ending up as worm chow. Instead he decided to take a far more productive approach for once.
"Oh look" quipped Shinji as an unreadable expression crossed his face at the sound of beating rotors filling the air "they brought an attack helicopter."
Perhaps Flat's comment on secret agents wasn't so far off the mark after all.
"Actually" said Shirou as he peaked out the window at their latest pursuer "that's technically just a scout helicopter."
"Does it matter what kind it is?" asked a panicking Luvia as she looked out the back window "it still has gatling guns on the sides. Do you even care that we are all about to die!?"
"I've faced worse odds than this" said Shirou with an unconcerned shrug "you really have no idea how far archers will go out of their way to kill me."
"I'm sure that if Ayako ever found out about that she would call it karma" said Shinji snidely "though I have to agree that compared to living with my grandfather for eighteen years, an attack by a helicopter and a few dozen terrorists is absolutely nothing. Don't even get me started on my sister-"
A strong downward wind from above rattled the car causing Shinji to pause mid sentence in alarm. He looked back and saw that the helicopter was flying rather low between the buildings as it's manned gatling guns started to spin up.
"On second thought I think you should drive a little faster Emiya…" said Shinji as his face turned a chalky white. Why hadn't he gone with the rest of the class again? In retrospect, following a teacher in a line filled with little children far younger than himself like a little duckling didn't seem quite so bad when compared to being a sitting duck.
"By the way" said Shirou as he skidded the car around a sharp corner just barely avoiding the helicopters first burst of armor piercing rounds that cratered the road behind them "how has Sakura been doing? She seemed a little depressed after she found out that I was going to London with my master. Sometimes I can't help but worry about her."
"You know that smile your girlfriend sometimes gets?" responded Shinji as a glazed look entered his eyes getting a nod from their suddenly very apprehensive redheaded driver. Their driver who didn't so much as flinch at the idea of gatling guns. "Thats Sakura's default face these days. Always smiling at you like a little angel. An angel of death. There is a reason that I went ahead and payed the exorbitant fees for a last minute entry into the Clock Tower and that gramps suddenly decided to go on a vacation to the other side of the world."
"It can't be that bad" said Luvia disbelievingly as she looked at him with a raised eyebrow "even I would hesitate at the Clock Towers late entrance fees."
"Just last week I witnessed the miracle of a bunch of old ladies in wheelchairs learning how to walk again" said Shinji with a haunted expression as the sound and flash from a nearby explosion substituted in place of the more traditional and ominous lightning strike "…I was actually impressed with how much effort they put into jumping off of the bridge."
"I stand corrected" admitted Luvia as she tried to work her jaw.
"Does anyone know the way to the Clock Tower?" interrupted Shirou as he dodged another black van that tried to ram them.
"Good thinking Shero!" exclaimed Luvia as her face lit up in realization "we can get help from the Association! There is no way that they can overlook a targeted assassination of this scale against members of the Clock Tower in broad daylight."
"Nah, that not it" admitted Shirou as a frown crossed his face "I just don't want to be late for work. If I miss one day for something like this then I might start to miss work for similar reasons. I don't want to start forming bad habits."
Talk about dedication to the cause man. Dedication to the cause.
"…I'm not going to even comment on that" said Luvia as she sat back with an irritated expression crossing her face.
"Welcome to the club" said Shinji equally irritated as more air borne armor piercing rounds strafed them "but that doesn't really change the fact that it's a good idea even if his reasoning like always is horribly wrong."
Shinji had to give it to these guys, they were almost as dedicated and singleminded as their idiotic redheaded driver. It almost made him want to turn his friends in himself just to see what kind of money was involved and who it was that they wanted six feat under. Ah, who was he trying to kid, It was definitely Shirou they were after. No one else could possibly incite such a burning desire to see someone dead quite like the redhead could.
His refusal to take action had absolutely nothing to do with his new found fear of his adopted sister. Nothing at all, because Shinji was a good friend who took care of his own and there was absolutely no way that Sakura could read his thoughts from several continents away.
Was it wrong that the little purple haired angel acting as his conscious from her perch upon his shoulder was actually the devil in disguise?