I did as instructed, following Claude through the palace to the outer courtyard and sitting beside him on the steps. Neither of us said anything for a short while, forcing me to take in the sights around me. The courtyard itself was barren save for a few cherry blossom trees. There was a large wall which obstructed most of my view, but it was short enough that I could still see the pagoda roofs of the buildings just beyond it. Despite the buildings all looking old and worn down, there was a beauty to them that I'd only ever seen captured in documentaries and video essays back on Earth. I wondered how many people would kill to be in my position right now, drama be damned, just for the opportunity to marvel at this village from an era long past. I took a deep breath, leaning back and staring up into the starry night sky. Now that I thought about it, this may have been the first time in my life I'd ever seen stars at night, too. Light pollution made that impossible everywhere else I'd lived.
"Speak your mind," Claude ordered, not turning to face me.
"And say what?"
"Anything."
"Got a lot of shit on my mind. Point me in a direction."
"I'd be doing you a disservice if I pointed you in a direction. Just say what's on your mind. It doesn't matter what it is."
"Well, might as well address the elephant in the room." I sighed, eyes focused on the stars above me. "That all went bad, huh?"
"It sure did, Giovanni."
"Keep it real with me. On a scale from one to ten, how badly did I do?"
"Considering Fang Leung would've knocked that man on his behind after getting interrupted once…" He paused. "I'll give you an eight."
"That a good eight or a bad eight?"
"What do you think?"
I stood up and faced Claude. "They kept piling all of Fang Leung's bullshit on me, and they talked over me every time I tried to say something! Everyone's doing it! Azurine, Dai Yuhan, you. All of you! I can see it on your faces! You all treat me like I'm Fang Leung when I'm not!"
"I can't speak for Dai Yuhan or Azurine, but I can speak for myself. I don't see Fang Leung in you. I don't see a shred of him in you. In fact, I don't see anything in you. I can't see anything in you, because I don't know you, Giovanni. None of us does. So tell me, then. Who are you?"
I sat back down, resting my arms on my knees. "Asking me who I am is like asking someone what their favorite show is on the spot. You can't just spring that on me. I'm not Descartes."
"Then let's take it a step back. You chastised the townspeople for not defending themselves. Was that said out of anger, or are those your honest feelings?"
"That's the one you care about?"
"It's far more important to me than anything else you've said or done up to this point. I'd appreciate your honesty."
"Well, I said it because of how I grew up. Where I come from, you protect yourself because no one else is gonna do it for you. Yeah, they all said 'the Family is your family' and 'we're brothers' and shit like that, but they never had your back for real. If you got jumped, you got jumped. You run home and tell everyone about it, and you get hit with a million reasons why that happened to you instead of a 'let's go find the assholes that did that to you'. You had to have your own back or you'd die. I mean, if you really think about it, that's why I died in the first place: I dropped my guard and let it happen. I know it's my job to protect these people, and this was what I signed up for, but they can't just rely on me for everything, can they? All these problems they threw at me… They can't feed themselves? Protect themselves? Get jobs outside of Azure Tide and make money? Why is it all my responsibility?"
Claude didn't say anything for a long time. He, like I'd been doing, was staring up at the stars. I joined him again, waiting for… anything. Agreement, disapproval, and an argument. It didn't matter what. I just wanted to vent and better understand what the hell my job here truly was.
"I understand where you're coming from."
"Really?"
"I do. Life was similar where I grew up. No one fought for us. No one fed us. If we wanted anything–money, food, opportunity–we didn't just have to find it ourselves. We had to claw it all from the hands of someone who'd already obtained it. It was that, or die. That's what life is like in the Nameless Frontier. I experienced it, Fang Leung experienced it, and everyone outside of this palace experienced it."
"Then why are they so angry with me if they understand I can't do everything?"
"Because they're tired. People aren't meant to fight for their survival for that long. I know that, and you know that."
I did know that. It would've been easy for me to shut Officer North out and go back to the life I'd been used to living up to that point, but I didn't. I let myself get swept up by her maternal love and took the opportunity she gave me to leave that life behind and start a new one for myself. When I looked at it like that, I wasn't too different from the citizens of Azure Tide. They, like me, were tired of "surviving". They wanted to live. Even if only for a little over a year, I'd lived in New York, all thanks to the sacrifice Officer North made for me. Every single day in that dingy little apartment in the Bronx was the best day of my life, all because I allowed myself to get swept up by someone else's love. The day I'd learned of her murder, that warmth vanished, and I hadn't felt anything similar since.
Once I looked at it like that, I finally understood what Claude was telling me. It wasn't just that I needed to take care of these people; it was that I needed them to trust that I would. There was no chance I'd occupy the space in their hearts that Officer North did in mine, but I still needed to provide that comfort and support that she did for me, or I'd be a failure as the leader of the Clan.
"The people need to know that I'm capable of protecting and feeding them at the very least." I found myself saying. "But they hate me."
"They sure do." Claude chuckled. "But they'll come around. Actions speak louder than words, they say. Provide for them and show them that you're dedicated to them and come around. It'll take some time, but it's possible."
"I know, but I still need to say something to them. I'm not gonna leave things on this note."
Claude laughed a bit harder. "Apologizing, huh? There goes that final shred of doubt. You really aren't Fang Leung!"
"Were you listening to anything I said?"
"Oh, relax. It's just a joke." He said, though he continued to laugh. Once he finally stopped, he stood to his full height and walked down the stairs, ushering me to follow him with a nod. I did as much, walking with Claude through the barren courtyard as he spoke. "When you apologize, don't say the things you think they want to hear. Tell them what you did, tell them why you did it, and tell them how you're going to improve. They won't forgive you just because you said sorry, and they don't have to, either, but the act of apologizing itself will resonate with them. And finally, try not to blow up at anybody again, yeah? Next time someone's mad at you, instead of blowing up at them, take some time to understand why they're so angry and address those concerns." He smiled. "Trick of the trade I learned from an old client."
"Yeah, yeah, I already know how to apologize to people." I smiled. "But thanks anyway. I've always had a bit of an attitude problem. Officer North called it 'Little Man Syndrome'. I was only 5'9".
"I wouldn't call your outburst unfounded. The people's anger at Fang Leung and your mounting adrenaline from this admittedly long day simply clashed at an inopportune time. Anywho, was there anything else you had on your mind, Giovanni?"
"I mean, I guess I'm wondering what Fang Leung did to get the Yanlin so mad, but I have a Data Pack on that."
"In that case, happy reading." Claude approached the wall as if about to jump over it. "I'll be standing guard at the Northern Gate for a little while."
"Should I join?"
"Maybe not. The townspeople are still out there, and I think they need some time for tempers to cool. Don't wanna risk any more shouting matches, do we?"
I sighed. "I'll go up and work on my apology. And, uh, thanks for this. It means a–
Quest Received: The Northern Gate Project
Rebuild the Northern Gate. Failure to do so within 24 hours will result in a Quest Failure.
Reward: You will receive 5000 Renown, 1000 Charisma, and 100 Diplomacy.
"Something happen with the System?"
"I have 24 hours to rebuild the Northern Gate or it'll be a 1-on-1 meeting with those Outer Plane Igrin again, and I have it on good authority that they're gonna hit harder this time."
Claude whistled. "24 hours? The Immortal Ruler sure has high standards…" He chinned at the palace behind me. "Go get your rest. We're gonna be up early tomorrow."
"We? You're gonna help?"
"It's our home too, Gio. Of course, we're going to help."