"To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don't wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now." – Alan Cohen.
MAISIE
THE BELL JINGLED as I opened the door and walked into Rainbow Café. My eyes scanned the room and I noticed a few familiar faces from school. As I walked towards an empty table, I noticed a blonde whisper something in her friend's ear. Then they both stared at me with similar looks on their faces –one of disgust. Usually, I'm affected by things like this but for some reason, I didn't give a damn. I think it had something to do with my being here to see the new guy, Alexander.
I sat down in anticipation, keeping myself entertained with my phone as I waited. But an hour later, I was still waiting. Alexander hadn't walked through the door. Maybe he's just running a little late, I thought. I had hope and believed that he would show up. I mean, he's a nice guy and he wanted to be my partner so he'd definitely show.
About 30 minutes later, when I was just about to give up, he walked into the café. Just by stepping in, he had everyone's attention. Three guys seated at a table waved at him and he smiled as he approached them. I watched them exchange greetings, delighted to see one another. I took a deep breath, trying to muster all possible courage to confront him.
"You can do this, Maisie." I chanted to myself as I stood up and walked to his table.
"You're late," I said, my heart pounding in my chest. All conversations at their table stopped and faces turned to stare at me.
"Are you talking to me?" Alex asked.
I nodded.
"Late for what?" His right eyebrow lifted in question.
The person I was talking to didn't seem like the same Alex I met yesterday. "We were supposed to meet about an hour and 30 minutes ago for the assignment."
"Assignment?" He looked genuinely confused for a second before realization dawned on him.
"Oh, that? Wait, you really thought I'd be your partner?" He laughed. "I was just messing with you. Can't you tell when someone is playing a prank on you?"
It felt like my heart shatter into a million pieces hearing him say that. I should have known.
"You could have just said it to my face."
"I thought it was pretty obvious. Why would I want to partner with an ugly fatass like you? This isn't a fantasy, you know. This is real life, Fatsie. No one wants to be associated with you. Get that into your fat skull."
I jolted awake, my heart beating wildly. I looked around and realized I was in my bed, inside my room. There was no Alex and I wasn't in the café. It was all a dream.
What a lousy dream!
I placed my hand on my chest and took deep steady breaths, trying to calm my racing heart. It was a dream, Maisie.
I unplugged my phone from its charger. The time was 8:27 am. Thanks to that stupid dream, I was up earlier than usual on a Saturday. I checked my messages and saw that Alex's texts from last night and my replies are still there. I didn't know whether I should be happy that that part was a dream. We agreed to meet today at Rainbow Café that's close to our school. I remember falling asleep with a smile on my face last night but look at me waking up in a crappy mood because of the dream.
I contemplated calling or texting Alex to cancel but I knew that would just make me a coward. I knew it'd be stupid and cowardly for me to decide not to go just because of a dream. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I headed to the kitchen where I knew my mom would be. The smell of pancakes wafted into my nostrils as soon as I entered the kitchen.
"Good morning, mom." I hugged her from behind.
"Wow. You're up early today. What's the occasion?" Mom grinned as she patted my hands that are wrapped around her.
"I had a bad dream." I pulled, a sigh escaping my lips. Mom turned around to face me.
"Are you okay?" She held my shoulders, inspecting my face.
"I'm fine. It was nothing serious. Don't worry about it." I told her, getting out of her hold. I dipped a finger into the pancake batter and my mom swatted it away. I grinned proudly before licking the batter off my finger.
"Naughty girl." She eyed me and resumed frying the pancakes. "I'm almost done making the pancakes. Do you want hot cocoa or coffee?"
"Coffee."
"Make two cups of coffee, then."
A few minutes later, Breakfast was served.
"Please, tell me you actually have plans today and won't just lie around watching Korean Dramas."
"I'd love to disappoint you, mom but I actually do have plans today."
Mom grinned, her eyes sparkling. "A date, perhaps?"
I sighed. "No, mom. I already told you. The boys in my class are repulsing and the girls are equally annoying. I don't like anyone so no, I'm not going on a date. I'm meeting the person I was paired with for a Literature assignment."
"You don't have to like someone to go on a date with them, Maisie."
"I know that. I'm just not interested in anyone or interested in going on dates with anyone." Besides, no one is going to ask me, I mentally added.
"My dearest daughter, Cupid shoots us with his arrow when we least expect it so anything can happen."
"Cupid had better not come near me. If not, I'd break his tiny arrows and shatter his bow."
Mom laughed, really amused. "I can't wait for you to fall in love."
"That's not gonna happen anytime soon, Mom."
"When it does, I will remind you of this conversation."
"Whatever."
After breakfast, I watched some episodes of a Netflix series with mom before going to get ready. Mom drove me. I was about to open the door when mom said, "Call me when you're done. I'll come and pick you up."
"Don't worry, I'll take the bus."
"I know you don't like taking the bus. It's uncomfortable for you so I'll come and pick you up, okay?"
"Okay, if you insist. Thanks, mom."
"You're welcome, darling." She sang as I got out of the car.
"Bye." I closed the door.
"Enjoy your date!" she yelled as she drove off.
"That woman." I shook my head and my lips lifted in a smile.
The smile was wiped off my face when I got to the entrance of Rainbow café. I remembered my dream and shook my head in an attempt to shake the thought away. That didn't work. I took a deep breath and gripped the straps of my backpack. I walked in and found an empty table to sit at. I entertained myself with my phone as I waited for Alex. It was just like in my dream and that made it feel like déjà vu but I tried to not think about it.
About 10 minutes later, Alex hadn't shown up. It felt like my dream or nightmare was becoming a reality. I wasn't disappointed though. I was a little sad but I scolded myself for expecting much from him. I should have known the dream was a sign. Five minutes later, I decided to leave. I didn't want to wait for everything to play out the way it did in my dream.
The moment I stood, someone walked in. It was him. He looked around and spotted me.
"Thanks for keeping me waiting," I said. I didn't sound angry, I sounded like someone exhausted, and tired.
"I am so sorry. Deeply sorry. Avery, my twin delayed me. She thought I was coming for a date and didn't want to tell her who the girl is. I had to coax her into letting me out of the house. It was actually after I mentioned your name that she let me come." Alex explained.
I was surprised that he not only apologized but also gave an explanation without me asking.
"Are you leaving already? Do you have to be somewhere? Should we reschedule? Are you angry?"
It took a lot of effort to not smile right then because he looked so adorable.
"I was about to leave and no, I'm not mad. Let's do it now."
"Thank you so much." Alex smiled as we sat down. "And once again, I'm really sorry."
"It's okay."
We brought out our stuff and just as we were about to start, he said, "You look nice by the way."
My eyes widened as they stared at him in surprise. Did he really just say that?
I studied his face for any sign that would give away that he was lying but I found none. It's either he was a good liar or he meant what he said. He was too engrossed in whatever he was doing on his laptop that he didn't notice me staring.
That was the first time a guy ever complimented me and I think it turned off a switch in my brain. I could have just thanked him or acted like I didn't hear him. I didn't have to reply him, I really didn't. But I did and it was kinda embarrassing.
"Mworago?"