The moment Lulu broke through, the universe exploded in pop-ups.
[Congratulations! You have become a Constellation.]
"Eh? Constellation?" Lulu tilted her head, ears twitching irritably. "I didn't sign up for this."
More windows dinged in rapid succession.
[Please select a mortal to sponsor] [Please select sponsoring method]
Lulu groaned, flopping backward onto the grassy plains. Her nine tails puffed dramatically beneath her like an annoyed cushion. "Ughhh. This is actual work! Since when did enlightenment come with paperwork?!"
Constellations, apparently, were supposed to shine as beings beyond mere ascended cultivators and demigods.
Lulu wrinkled her nose. Boring. Absolutely boring.
"Let the other shiny star-people play god," she muttered, kicking her little legs. "I just want snacks and naps."
A chime cut her off.
[Warning: Failure to comply may result in penalty]
Her ears shot straight up. "P-penalty?!"
The system didn't elaborate. It didn't need to. Lulu sat upright, pouting. "Tch. Fine, fine. If I have to sponsor a mortal, I will. But don't expect me to babysit one every second."
She tapped her chin. Thinking. For three whole seconds. Then her eyes lit up.
She jabbed a tiny finger at the glowing interface. "System! Just… pick a mortal for me. One that's, uh… compatible. Yeah. Compatible with me."
Another chime.
[Confirmed. Searching for optimal mortal match…]
Lulu's tails swished proudly. See? No effort required. The System could do all the heavy lifting. She'd just reap the benefits.
Now for the second problem, this "sponsoring method." Her ears flicked as she scrolled through options. Blessings. Contracts. Trials. Ugh. Every single one sounded like work.
"Who even wants to hand out blessings all day? Ew."
She flicked her wrist, tossing the menu away. A new one popped up immediately.
[Warning: Selection required.]
"Fine, fine! Don't rush me." She puffed her cheeks. "Let's see… mortals love gambling, right? So how about…" Her eyes sparkled. "A lottery system!"
She wove her hands together, fumbling through the glowing framework. The result was… strange. Unstable. A pool of prizes shuffled endlessly, waiting to be drawn at random.
"…Yes. Perfect." Lulu clapped her hands, delighted. "No planning. No thinking. Just pull something shiny, and good luck! Hehehe."
The void shimmered. A confirmation blinked before her eyes.
[New Sponsorship Method Created: Gacha]
Lulu tilted her head, blinking. "Ga…cha? That name's lame. Whatever. Still genius."
She sprawled back on her tails, smug as ever. No effort. No responsibility. This was going to be easy.
…Right?
[First Mortal Selected.] [Initializing Sponsorship Contract…]
"Oho, already?" Lulu perked up, tails swishing. "Hehe, let's see what poor fool gets blessed by my brilliance."
The void rippled, shimmering like water. A figure stepped through, tall, golden hair cascading down her back, crimson eyes cutting through the dark. Her stride was steady, elegant, perfectly composed.
Lulu blinked. "…Eh?"
She leaned forward, squinting. Definitely a mortal. But she wasn't gawking. No trembling knees, no panicked screams. Just calm eyes scanning the space, then landing squarely on Lulu.
Lulu stiffened. H-hey. Why was she looking directly at her? Mortals weren't supposed to…
Another chime rang.
[First Roll Granted.]
A glowing sphere materialized in the mortal's hands. She turned it once, studying it with a detached coolness, before crushing it between her fingers.
Light burst outward. For a moment, Lulu grinned smugly. Hehehe, here it comes. Rusty sword. Maybe a healing herb if she's lucky.
But when the glow faded, a golden slip of paper drifted into her hand.
[Wish Voucher Acquired.]
Lulu froze. Her tails snapped upright. "…Huh?"
Her ears twitched violently. That… wait, no. No no no no. She hadn't put that in there! She knew what she added: a couple of shiny rocks, maybe a bent sword, a healing herb if the mortal was really lucky. But this? This golden cheat-code ticket?
Her eyes bulged. "W-wait a second! I never made that! System! Hello?! Who authorized this item?!"
She stomped her little foot, pointing furiously at the floating text. "I demand a reroll! A refund! A... something!"
The System, of course, ignored her.
Meanwhile, the mortal (tall, blonde, crimson-eyed, annoyingly composed) read the slip with all the poise of someone checking a grocery list. She lifted her head, gaze locking on Lulu.
"I wish," she said, her voice smooth, steady, unfairly calm, "to marry Lulu."
"EEEHHH?!" Lulu's shriek cracked across the plains. She stumbled backward, tails flaring so wildly they nearly tangled themselves. "T-that's not how it works! That's not how anything works!"
Ding.
[Wish Accepted.]
Lulu froze. Her ears drooped, face pale. "No... no no no no no..." She whipped her head around at the void above. "System! Bad System! Reject it! Cancel it! Void it! I'm too young to be a bride!"
No answer. Just silence.
Except for the sound of footsteps. Calm. Unhurried. Getting closer.
Lulu peeked up, only to find crimson eyes right in front of her, glinting with a faint smile.
She squeaked. "S-stop right there! Mortals aren't supposed to just... just walk up to me! Where's the respectful distance? The kneeling? The reverence?!"
The mortal tilted her head slightly, expression as cool and detached as ever. But her words cut straight through the air:
"Wives don't kneel."
"W-wait, that's not how the System is supposed to work!" Lulu flailed, ears twitching so fast they blurred. Her tails puffed like angry fireworks behind her. "Y-you can't just wish for me! That's... that's cheating!"
The mortal didn't so much as blink. She took another quiet step forward, gaze steady, voice smooth. "It said any wish." Her crimson eyes softened into something perilously close to a smile. "I wished for you. Now you're mine."
Lulu nearly swallowed her tongue. "I wanted a worshipper, not a wife!"
"Mm," she murmured, unhurried. "But wives get special privileges, don't they?"
Before Lulu could summon a comeback, fingers slipped through the wall of fluff at her back. Stroking. Deliberate. Careful.
The fox yelped, stiffening like she'd been zapped. Her ears shot straight up, twitching wildly as heat flooded her cheeks. "H-hey! T-tails are off-limits!"
The hand didn't withdraw. If anything, it lingered, testing, learning. Then another touch followed, lower this time, trailing up along Lulu's thigh before pausing.
"Then what about here?" she asked softly.
Lulu squeaked so loud it nearly cracked the sky. "S-stop that! This isn't what Constellations are supposed to... AHH!"