"Whoa! Big Brother, what are you doing? That's going to hurt!"
Lisanna immediately flustered, hugging Phoenix's left arm tightly and pulling back with all her might, but her delicate strength couldn't move him an inch.
"Don't worry, I'm just washing my hands."
—Ugh!
Lisanna's face instantly went blank. Elfman, who had been silently and happily gnawing on roast pork, widened his eyes in surprise, dropping his roast meat to the ground without even noticing.
Washing hands with fire, that's just too unconventional!
"Okay! Very clean!"
Phoenix placed his "washed" left hand on Lisanna's head and stroked it. Lisanna immediately showed a contented, cat-like expression.
"That's enough. Don't forget, you'll be cooking for me from now on."
"Your skin is getting thicker and thicker. Be careful, you might eat yourself to death!"
Mavis, who had intended to be a bystander, couldn't remain calm. She glared at Phoenix with an annoyed expression.
"I'm a Phoenix, you know. I can't be eaten."
"Can you act any more idiotic?" Mavis's gaze had turned to contempt. "Enticing a girl to cook for you, that really takes some skill."
"Hahaha~ After all, cooking at home is tiring, and with Natsu, that freeloading, bottomless pit who can't tell grains apart, I'm really exhausted."
"Then hire a chef!!"
"That costs money, and if I give an IOU, the Old Man will fight me to the death."
"Then pay for it! Are you going to let your hundreds of billions in assets go to waste?"
"Paying is losing face. I'm the World's Greatest Swordsman, you know."
"By not paying, you've already disgraced the honor of that title completely!"
Mavis retorted fiercely, but Phoenix looked unfazed.
"No, me paying is absolutely out of the question! Last time I paid for a house, I already did more than my duty. Don't talk to me about money again."
"Talking about money hurts feelings, right?!"
Mavis's mouth twitched as she added.
"Exactly! Just thinking about how the Old Man cunningly tried to borrow money from me last time makes me angry. Why should I lend him money?! He's the Guild Master, the third Guild Master of Fairy Tail, he's loaded."
"No matter how rich he is, it's not enough for your antics! Have you thought about the mountain of debts you've accumulated from missions over the past six months? Have you thought about the innocent towns and cultural relics that suffered during those S-class missions?"
"The Guild Master pays, that's how it should be."
"Should be my foot!!" Mavis angrily retorted, but then her expression instantly changed. With an "it's none of my business" look, she went back to gnawing on her roast meat. "Anyway, I'm not the Guild Master anymore, so it has nothing to do with me."
"I feel so bad for the Old Man!"
Phoenix put on a show of sadness and distress. Mavis seemed used to it, but still couldn't help but retort.
"Then shed a few cheap tears!"
"Sorry, the flames here are too intense, they've all evaporated."
"...Hahahahaha—!!"
Phoenix and Mavis exchanged glances, then both clutched their stomachs and burst out laughing simultaneously.
"—?"
Lisanna and Elfman stared in surprise at the two strangely behaving individuals. They hadn't understood a single thing the two were saying from beginning to end. Although they didn't understand, both of them were very happy, that was for sure. A sudden surge of envy welled up in Lisanna's heart, envying the unspoken understanding between Phoenix and Mavis. Even when joking, the two could tease each other without needing to explicitly state anything.
"Someday... I can do that too..."
Lisanna clenched her fists, silently encouraging herself.
"What are you mumbling about? If you don't eat, you'll get hungry."
Phoenix's teasing words brought Lisanna back to reality. Looking at Phoenix's delicate face illuminated by the flames, Lisanna suddenly smiled.
"What, do I have something on my face?"
Phoenix touched his face, sounding puzzled.
"No, I just wanted to smile, that's all. Yes, that's it."
"Huh? What a strange child."
"Big Brother is strange too."
"I am not."
"Big Brother is just strange."
"I am definitely not strange. You're the strange one."
"Big Brother is being a tsundere."
"Tsundere your sister!"
"But I only have an older sister."
..."Then tsundere your older sister!"
"Pfft—!! Hahahahaha—!!"
This time, it wasn't just Lisanna laughing. Mavis and Elfman were both choked with laughter by Phoenix's powerful statement.
Laughter echoed under the crescent moon, and everyone's relationships grew much closer.
Well, of course, a certain delinquent girl who was still unconscious was clearly not included in this... Three days later, Phoenix and his group of five returned to Magnolia Town.
Standing in front of the guild hall, Phoenix suddenly felt a surge of emotion.
He and Mavis had once been brought here by Gildarts, then years later he brought Natsu, and now he had brought Lisanna and the other two. If he also added Gray, who had come here due to his influence, Phoenix suddenly realized he truly had a talent for enticing children.
"Heh heh~"
A slight smile played on Phoenix's lips, and his right fist habitually smashed against the door.
Boom!!
"Everyone, I'm back!!"
Amidst the flying wood splinters, Phoenix greeted everyone inside with a carefree expression.
"Phoenix!! You scoundrel!! How many times has this been?!"
Before anyone could offer enthusiastic cheers, Makarov, sitting at the bar, stretched his neck and angrily cursed.
"What does it matter? Just pay for a new one, right?"
Phoenix shrugged, saying nonchalantly.
"Then at least pay a single coin!!"
Makarov's anger seemed to flare even brighter.
Ding!!
Phoenix flicked a coin of the lowest value, which spun at Makarov's feet.
"Go buy it!"
"I swear!!"
Seeing Phoenix's expression, as if he had suffered a huge loss, Makarov's body trembled. He clutched his chest with a pained expression, his entire old face turning ashen.
"Oh, Old Man, what's wrong? You shouldn't be so happy! Don't worry, this isn't the last time. If I accidentally break the door again in the future, I'll always offer a single coin as compensation."
Phoenix instantly appeared behind Makarov, dutifully massaging the Old Man's shoulders.
"Pfft—!!"
Makarov spat out a mouthful of old blood, his heart truly unable to withstand the shock.
"Hahaha! Phoenix, stop bullying our Guild Master. If he accidentally kicks the bucket, who will you bully then?!"
Macao kindly advised, though the schadenfreude on his face was impossible to hide.
"The Guild Master talks about you a lot, Phoenix. I hear you didn't incur any debt on this mission, and the Guild Master has been praising you."
Wakaba said with an expression that implied Phoenix should quickly thank the Guild Master. Seemingly understanding the implication, Phoenix looked at Makarov with teary eyes and said gratefully, "Thank you so much, Old Man. On the next mission, I'll celebrate your expectations at the best hotel."
"Pfft—!!"
Makarov instantly became listless, and a white wisp of a soul floated out of his mouth.
"Whoa!! Oh no, oh no, the Guild Master is going to kick the bucket! Quick, put it back in him!"
Macao, Wakaba, and the other elders all rushed forward to help, but the younger generation all focused their attention on Phoenix.
"Let's fight, Phoenix! I'm not the same as I was a few days ago. I can definitely defeat you!!"
Natsu, who had been itching for a fight, rushed in front of Phoenix, shouting, flames erratically bursting from his mouth.
"You?"
"Of course..."
Boom!!
Natsu's head was instantly pressed to the ground by Phoenix's hand, leaving only his two legs flailing weakly.
"Ice-Make—Lancer!!"
Oh no!! I reacted on instinct!
Gray looked at Phoenix with a terrified expression. Before Gray could utter a word of plea, Phoenix spun around, instantly appearing behind Gray, and punched him flying. The poor inner wall of the guild hall once again had a human-shaped hole in it.
"Really, fighting is not good, you know. Erza, you really need to keep them in line next time."
Phoenix sighed softly, looking overworked, which made all the other members except Erza silently retort, "You're the one who fights the most!!"
Unfortunately, with Natsu and Gray's examples right before them, no one dared to utter a single word of rebuttal.
"Don't worry, Master. Even if you didn't say anything, I would still keep them in line. Although friends sometimes fight, I still prefer to see them get along harmoniously."
Erza nodded, saying with deep emotion, which made the others feel even more like crying.
Hey, hey!! Why aren't you keeping your cheap master in line?! Did you not see him fighting?