Everyone grows.
To put it another way, everyone has a time when they are immature.
Just as Harry did, and as Albus did, there was a time when I, too, was nothing more than an inexperienced wizard.
Hogwarts, fifth year.
It was less than a month after I had learned that magic wasn't some fantasy concocted by capitalists to plant false hopes in the lower class.
A time when I didn't even have my own wand and could only manage clumsy magic with someone else's.
Back then, Hogwarts was a mysterious yet alien place to me.
I was not a blank slate like a child, ready to accept everything. At fifteen, having already seen a fair bit of the world, Hogwarts felt less like a new home and more like an unfamiliar battlefield.
There was no overt, visible discrimination, but I inevitably became an outsider at Hogwarts, not just because of them, but because of the walls I had built around my own heart.
"You're that famous new kid who started Hogwarts in the fifth year?"
"You're pretty good."
The first person to speak to me there was Sebastian.
And that was when I made a friend for the first time at Hogwarts. No, perhaps not just at Hogwarts, but for the first time in my life.
That was why he was never just a friend.
Sometimes he was a teacher who taught me magic. Sometimes a rival against whom I tested my skills.
And above all, he was the one who brought me precious connections.
"No matter how dangerous the magic is, the magic itself isn't a sin, right? The problem is with the person using it."
"Yeah, Sebastian. You're right. It's foolish to shun dangerous magic just because Dark Wizards use it."
An old saying from the East goes that a friend who truly understands you is the most precious treasure of all. Sebastian and I were two peas in a pod.
Our attitudes toward magic, our ideologies, our ways of thinking.
Was that why? I was always warmer to Sebastian. More lenient. More generous.
I tried to understand his minor mistakes and his major faults. I ignored the fact that he was changing, little by little, as he learned more Dark Magic. Even on the day he cast the Killing Curse on his own family.
I still can't forget the sight of him, his hands trembling after using the Killing Curse on his own uncle.
Sebastian stared at the wand that had just cast the green spell as if he couldn't believe it, then looked at me with shaking hands.
"Aisen. W-what have I done?"
"Sebastian."
"No! Please. Just be quiet. Don't say anything to me."
When I opened my mouth, Sebastian must have sensed the negative tone in my voice, because he screamed. He covered his face with his hands for a long time, as if sobbing, and steadied his ragged breath.
Then he looked at me with eyes that seemed to be begging for something.
"R-right. Aisen. Magic isn't a sin. My uncle was the bad one. Right? Ah, yes. If you want, I can teach you Avada Kedavra. Because magic itself isn't a sin! Y-you think so too, don't you?"
It was a pathetic attitude, so unlike his usual self. Though he didn't say it outright, his words were a desperate scream for affirmation.
*Magic isn't a sin, but you just sinned using magic.*
I should have said those words. But looking into Sebastian's trembling eyes, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I squeezed my eyes shut and nodded.
"Ha, haha! Great, Aisen. Look. Y-you do it like this…"
...
…
But by the time I realized it was wrong, it was already too late.
In the end, it returned to me as my own transgression.
"Aisen. Am I seeing things? I didn't know I'd start seeing things now that I'm a ghost."
And there, my old friend, whom I was facing once again, had a bluish, translucent body.
"If I'm not seeing things, it must be one of two things. Either I've gone mad, or…"
As I stared blankly at Sebastian, my body frozen, Harry grabbed the hem of my robe and looked at him with a wary expression.
"What's wrong, Master?"
Seeing this, Sebastian let out a smirk, or perhaps a hollow laugh, and looked at me.
"Hah. Master? My, Aisen. I don't know the details, but it looks like you're living quite an interesting life."
"What? Oh no, the vial Master gave me…!"
Behind Sebastian, Bellatrix was fumbling with a cracked glass vial, a look of panic on her face.
*I see.* I didn't know what was going on, but it seemed Bellatrix was involved.
Perhaps because I desperately didn't want to think about Sebastian, my mind went blank, and I found myself just watching Bellatrix's actions.
Seeing this, Sebastian raised a corner of his mouth crookedly.
He wore an expression that was remarkably similar to my own smile as he spoke.
"I suppose you're happy, having forgotten all about me, and Anne? I'm so envious."
The moment I was about to respond, Bellatrix's shrill cry rang out.
"Got… it!"
Having pulled yet another new wand from her sleeve, Bellatrix fixed the cracked vial, then pressed a button.
*Click.* With the sound of a dial turning, Sebastian's translucent blue form was sucked into the vial like smoke and vanished.
My eyes widened in a different kind of shock. A device that could suck in and store a ghost?
To be able to so directly interfere with a ghost—a being formed from the lingering thoughts of the dead. This was no trinket a witch like Bellatrix should possess.
Was this what she used to attack the portrait in the dormitory?
"Dark Wizard. That object… where did you get it?"
I drew my wand and aimed it at Bellatrix.
Fear flickered in her eyes, likely remembering the ancient lightning magic I had used just moments before.
One spell was all it would take to end this. To resolve all my questions and anxieties.
But in that sliver of hesitation, I couldn't bring myself to brandish my wand. Lestrange, who had been watching me carefully, gritted her teeth and, as if every second was precious, disappeared with Apparition.
"Wait…! Dammit, Lestrange! Master, shouldn't we go after her?"
"It's fine, Harry."
Harry seethed with frustration as he watched Bellatrix flee, but I had no desire to give chase.
No.
To be honest, I was going crazy with the urge to chase her right this instant.
I wanted to catch Bellatrix and demand to know what that vial was. And why Sebastian's ghost was trapped inside it.
But my body's condition held me back.
In my current state, even a minor emotion could cause an error in my Apparition.
And right after seeing Sebastian… I didn't know what might happen if I used even a simple spell. That thought had prevented me from firing a simple Stunner at Bellatrix just moments ago.
If I had been alone, I might have taken the risk and gone after her.
I looked at Harry with a grim expression.
"Let's go back, Harry."
Unlike the old days, I now had far too much to lose.
Whether it was fortunate or not, we picked up Neville, who had fainted and was sprawled on the ground, and returned to Hogwarts.
On the way back, Harry watched me with a questioning gaze as I glanced back at the Forbidden Forest.
*Whooooooosh!*
The hollow cry of a Dementor echoed through the empty air of the Forbidden Forest.
***
In a cave somewhere in the Highlands.
With a *whoosh*, a witch appeared via Apparition, gasping for breath. It was Bellatrix.
As a Death Eater, a member of the Walpurgis Knights, and one of its chief enforcers, Bellatrix had seen it all.
She had even crossed wands with the old man Dumbledore, the overwhelming wizard said to be second only to the great Dark Lord.
And yet, she could say with certainty that she had never felt anything like this before.
A feeling that she couldn't overcome him no matter what she did. No, not just that she couldn't win, but that she couldn't even escape.
Though she had been born a noble pure-blood of the House of Black and had sworn loyalty to the great Dark Lord, the moment she stood before that man, she was consumed by the feeling of being a powerless bug.
Honestly, she felt that her escape was not just a miracle but a mystery.
The moment she had looked into those gleaming golden eyes, she had realized that if he had wished it, she would have died without even being aware of it.
And… her Lord's voice. No, that wasn't right.
As she stood panting against the cave wall, trying to cool her racing heart, she heard a sneering voice from somewhere.
"My, my. Not only a criminal, but one who runs away whimpering after losing a fight. The Black name has truly fallen, hasn't it?"
"What?"
She snapped back reflexively, but then flinched, realizing there shouldn't be anyone else in the cave.
Whipping her head toward the sound, she frowned. The ghost of Sebastian, who should have been inside the vial, was standing there.
She fumbled for the vial in her breast pocket and pulled it out, her face scrunching in annoyance.
The bottle she had just repaired with magic was cracked again.
"Damn it, this was a gift from my Lord…!"
"Did you really think such an incredible artifact, one that can contain a ghost, could be fixed with a simple Mending Charm? And without that vial, you can't do anything to me, can you? Right?"
"Shut up, you lump of soul. You think I can't do anything?"
Sebastian flinched at Bellatrix's glare. After all, it was true that Bellatrix was a fairly powerful Dark witch.
She might know a spell or two that could affect a ghost.
"Calm down. I think we might be able to cooperate."
"Cooperate?"
"Yes. It seems I've met an old friend. You too, right?"
Bellatrix looked into Sebastian's eyes as he spoke.
Azkaban was a place born of madness, a place that could drive even the sane to insanity. And the fact that this was a ghost born on that island meant he was a prisoner who had met his end in Azkaban.
Seeing a madness in his translucent eyes that was quite similar to her own, Bellatrix smiled coyly.
"Fine. Let's hear it."
***
No one at Hogwarts, aside from those of us in the Forbidden Forest, knew what had happened that night.
Well, to be precise, except for one person.
After all, we would have been caught from the start without Albus's help.
And so, a very peaceful night passed at the school. There was no attack from Bellatrix.
After a few more nights like this, the professors would probably have no choice but to send us back to our original dormitories.
One of the only witnesses to our secret journey, and perhaps its greatest beneficiary, was Neville, who was now lying quietly in the hospital wing.
Ostensibly, the reason was that Neville had fainted, perhaps because the sleeping arrangements had been uncomfortable.
It was a ridiculous excuse, but perhaps due to Neville's extensive record of hospital wing visits, Madam Pomfrey accepted him with a sigh and no questions asked.
As for Harry, it seemed some sense of responsibility as a master had blossomed overnight, as he had followed Neville to the hospital wing.
Anyway. Those facts weren't what was important.
I sighed and idly waved the Elder Wand.
Ever since I met Sebastian, I haven't used any magic at all.
***