Topher stops by here and there, he said I should go back to school so I don't fail 11th Grade.
"I don't want to because it won't be the same without her." I exclaimed.
"I'm honestly thinking about it, I can't imagine the work I have to do. Is it worth it though. No! I shouldn't go, because, if I do then everyone will ask a bunch of questions and I don't know if i'm ready for that yet"
Topher had walked in without me noticing,
"Hello! Earth to Jess" he calls out.
"Huh? Oh sorry I was just thinking to myself." He looks over at me with a serious yet playful look on his face and says
"Get dressed, it's Six Thirty and we have to be at school by seven". I argue with him that
I'm not going but somehow he forces me anyway.
We arrive at school and when we walk in everyone in the halls just stares, surprised that I actually showed up. We made it to the first period and Mr. Lawson was surprised to see me because of what had happened and the amount of days I missed. He was nice but I thought that class would never end. Everybody was staring at me, almost as if I had toilet paper on my shoe but worse. Second period, which is Ms. Perry's class, was also slow, all she did was yap about grammar and it was so tiring and annoying. Come third period ,which is my free period in the library, Ms. Pood, the librarian, was really nice. I find a seat, sit down, plug in my earbuds, listen to music, and stare off into space. I stayed in the library for flex time too. I feel a light tap on my shoulder, It's Alysa trying to get my attention. I take out my earbuds and ask,
"What's up?"
"I heard about Elizabeth , I'm so sorry about your loss, I know you had a strong connection with each other and all. How are you doing with all of it?"
I look up at her,
"I'm doing fine, I just needed some time to myself but I'm doing fine now."
She looks at me with a concerned look on her face, with a pause, tells me to have a good day and walks away. I got through Mr Herald's fourth period, I think I fell asleep about half way through the lesson though. As soon as the bell rang,Topher and Alysa met up with me after class and asked if I wanted to go out to eat with the rest of our friend group. By that time I was hungry because I had skipped lunch, so I gave in.
We walk into Up and Down Burger, and I see Jacob and Sara already at the table. They look up at me with an excited yet sympathetic look on their faces. I was getting really tired of that look but I'm thankful that they care.
We sat down and Jacob asked me how I was doing. I told him I was doing ok, him and Sara
just looked at me with this unpleasant look. Other than that It was, honestly, refreshing to get back with the gang, well, most of them anyway.
After we ate I went back home and turned on the TV, which just happens to be on the news station.
*This is NW2 News and welcome back, two weeks ago today, on September 5th, Friday night, Local Woman Found Dead in Apparent Homicide. The police are still looking for the murderer of thi-...*
I cut off the TV as fast as I could because I didn't want to hear it again, but I was too late. I started to cry because I was not ok.
"I had lied to all of my friends, telling them that I was fine and doing ok now. But I know that they noticed, I was lying."
I called Topher and asked him to come over, he didn't ask any questions when he heard me crying. He lives about twenty minutes from my house but he was there in less than ten. He stayed and called our other friends, Alysa, Sara, and Jacob. They decided to have a slumber party at my house and they tried to cheer me up the best they could.
It helped a little bit but I was still really depressed, it was almost like the police officer was at my door, giving me the news for the first time again.
I woke up before everyone else did and made some coffee, then I made some warm tea and set it on the counter. Jacob watched me set it down and asked me who the tea was for. I told him it was for Elizabeth, then the crushing realization of my mistake hit me. I had made tea for my girlfriend like I always do when my friends come over, but this time it was different. This time I had made tea for someone that is but a ghost, a mere spirit.
I started to tear up, Jacob just came and held me close for a good twenty to thirty minutes. We went to the mall a few hours later, I got more clothing because mine was getting pretty old. Then we went out to eat because I was hungry, after we finished shopping. Jacob and I went back to my house to play Mario Kart. I beat him every time, after that we ordered food to eat because we were hungry again. After that, we just watched TV the rest of the night, until he had to go home. The others had to study for their test on Monday in Mr. Lawson's class. Mr. Lawson told me not to worry about it because I hadn't been there for two weeks and didn't know everything I
needed to. Jacob left my house at around five-ish and as I'm getting ready for bed I think to myself,
"I wish I could just relive that day so I can stop it from happening."
and then go to sleep.