Happiness is never the same for everyone. It changes, shifts, and reshapes itself with time. Loving someone you shouldn' t may not be the wisest choice—perhaps even a waste of life. Yet because happiness itself is different for each of us, no matter the risk, no matter the consequence… all we truly want is to be happy in our own way.
The light in the room glowed bright, but not warm. It was the kind of light that revealed truths—when R finally showed a piece of his own, through the screen of a phone, laying bare the trail of those who had paid into greed that never lasted.
"You… you' re the one who took the bribes?"
R' s hand pressed lightly against Reya' s taut stomach. Their closeness softened, and the heat inside him ebbed away, spilling out shamelessly as if everything Reya had poured into him now refused to stay contained.
"It was me."
"You' re the reason they' re all chasing that money?" Reya pressed down gently against the swell, coaxing the release to ease his elder.
"Yes. I am." R' s voice was husky, his face twisted with weariness, leaving Reya to bear the weight of what had been born from his own unrestrained frenzy.
"And now—how does it feel?" R asked, his voice quiet yet steady. "This life where nothing is guaranteed. Is it more exciting than the games you used to play?"
Reya' s heart pounded hard—not from fear, but because he knew he had once played tricks on R, hidden truths, thought himself clever. Yet now… the tables had turned.
"You… you control everyone."
He picked up the phone again, showing R a photograph with faces crowded together among a mountain tribe. "Are you in this picture?"
"Here."
R smiled faintly, pointing to a tall man, handsome and severe, brows knit in permanent disapproval, his presence more commanding than anyone else in frame. R had altered his face so many times since then—until it looked gentle, approachable, harmless even. A mask that hid the one pulling the strings.
Silence thickened the air. Reya' s body tensed, trembling, as his eyes remained fixed on the man before him—warm, yet unyielding.
Composed. Steady. Warmhearted. Just like always. Just like that day. Just like their first night together.
Not once had R worn a scowl.
Not once had he unleashed his anger.
And at last, Reya understood—he had never been the one to choose anything. He had only ever been chosen.
R shifted, leaning back against the chair, radiating authority without ever raising his voice.
"I want to ask you something."
Reya frowned, unease curling in his chest. "Ask? …What is it?"
R paused, then spoke with quiet certainty.
"My fiancée is no longer available. And so I need someone else to take that place. To stand beside me, and share the weight of what I do."
The words struck deep. Reya' s breath caught, his chest tight as if his heart had forgotten how to beat.
"That fiancée…" R continued. "They took risks in my stead. They carried burdens for me. I owe them everything—but they never made me feel. The money, the victories… none of it brought happiness."
Reya' s throat tightened as R' s sharp gaze lifted to meet his own.
"But the day I saw you," R said slowly, as though weighing each word, "standing in the rain, drenched to the bone—I found myself smiling. Thinking you must be insane, refusing to shield yourself from the cold the way everyone else does."
Memory struck Reya hard. That day of relentless rain, the chill that seeped into his bones. And then—an umbrella, held silently above his head, offered without a word. That moment had never faded.
R' s voice carried on, even, calm, yet cutting deep. The faintest curve of his lips now revealed what Reya had never dared to name—warmth not as a gift, but as a trap of beautiful steel.
"So what are you, really?" Reya whispered. "Good or evil? Back when you were a cop, I never saw you bend the law. You looked disgusted at corrupt politicians…"
R tilted his head, a flicker of amusement in his voice. "Did I? Funny, I don' t recall ever saying such a thing."
"But your face—your silence. You never smiled at the news," Reya pressed, as though clinging to proof.
R let out a quiet laugh.
"Perhaps I was only wondering what to eat that night."
Reya' s eyes widened. "You still haven' t answered me. Which side are you on?"
R leaned forward, his voice low and resonant.
"Do you think someone like me can choose a side? A prince… a king… we belong not to one half of the world, but to all of it. We must speak to everyone—whether they are free or bound, whether they worship one god or another."
His gaze pierced through Reya as though peeling him bare.
"You think I can simply choose what is right? For tens of millions of people? What' s right for one is wrong for another. What' s wrong may be the only way someone survives. Everyone else can choose. But me… I can' t."
Reya swallowed hard, lips trembling. "I don' t understand everything… but maybe I understand enough." His voice cracked. "So I' ll ask one more thing."
R tilted his head slightly, granting permission.
"Why me?"
Those sharp eyes softened just a fraction. "No reason," R said, voice unhurried. "I simply… like you. And when I like something, it has to be mine."
Reya froze, heartbeat stuttering and racing all at once.
"And in the end…" R continued, "I' ll let you decide. Stay by my side, or take off the collar and walk away."
Reya lifted his gaze slowly, as if afraid he' d misheard. "Did you just say… you like me?"
R held his eyes, then gave a small nod. "I did."
"You want me to… look after you. As what?"
"As the one closest to me."
Reya bit his lip, trying to process. "And what would that role require?"
"Everything. Go where I go. Eat with me. Sleep with me. Risk your life for me. Everything."
The room grew heavy with silence. Reya scratched the back of his head, forcing a crooked smile.
"Doesn' t sound like much fun…"
R' s mouth curved faintly, eyes glinting with a teasing warmth. "That' s your choice. I have to go now. There' s business waiting."
He stood, moving Reya' s body aside with ease. And for the first time, Reya wondered—had R spent that whole year truly changing his mask into that of an ordinary young man? Or had the sleepless nights and hollow hunger consumed him just as much as they had consumed Reya?
"…"