"Please. You think you can compare? He's a fellow officer, refined and sharp. Way better than a sleazy pervert like you. And you, Reya—you're rough, crude, shameless. Absolute scum. Pfft!" Versailles sneered, covering his mouth with aristocratic grace like a British nobleman, though his words were nothing but poison.
"Fuck off! Your parents are the same as mine—so you're just insulting yourself! I'm his man. Talking with him and sleeping with him? Not the same league, bro. With my stamina, no one can outdo me." Reya smirked, shamelessly bragging about his… lower-body talents.
"Hahahahaha!"
The whole gang, both in-game and out, roared with laughter until their stomachs hurt. When it came to filthy humor, no one could beat Reya. The crown for "Most Degenerate Bastard Alive" fit him perfectly.
"Anyway… I honestly can't remember how long it's been since I left home," Reya muttered, eyes half-lidded as if digging through the fog of his memory.
"One month."
"Two."
"It's been one month and twenty-nine days, you goldfish-brained idiots," Midgie's gravelly voice cut in sharply, the group's walking database never missing a beat.
"Precise as hell~" Reya flicked his wrist flamboyantly at the webcam, like some sassy drag queen on stage.
"Think my parents would know I'm shacking up with a cop?" Reya asked, eyes gleaming like he'd been hexed by love.
"I say they think you're locked up in a psych ward. Let you go crazy for a while before giving you your medal. Hehehe."
"Fuck off."
"You think he's caught feelings for you yet, Rey?"
"After 888 positions, surely one of them stuck?"
"Of course it did. Just look at my dick—"
"DON'T pull your pants down, asshole!" his friends shouted in unison, terrified for their eyesight. Reya had a habit of flashing without warning, and no one wanted to go blind from friendly fire.
"Who said I was stripping, pervs? I just meant look at it—it's worn raw."
"Too much pounding?"
"Mhm~"
"You seriously expected Reya the Shameless to give a different answer?" Rome snorted.
"I thought he'd at least crack a joke worth five baht," another muttered.
Rome squinted, staring at the wall clock like a dog eyeing a chicken bone.
"Forget it. I don't even wanna know who he really is," Reya cut in, sweeping the floor before someone very important came home.
"But I do know. He's the golden boy of the anti-narcotics division. Clean record, handsome, parents dead, perfect résumé. Why the hell would someone like him end up with trash like you? If it were me, I'd understand."
SNAP! Rome's three-colored highlighted hair was yanked back in a tight grip. His face froze harder than Botox, while his manicured nails scratched at Reya's arm like a hissing cat. The bastard just raised his brows in challenge.
"Fine, fine! I was joking! Let go, I don't wanna go bald!"
The truth was, the inspector looked flawless on the outside—polished, calm, kind-hearted, even soft. But his simplicity, his boring daily routine, was strange and alluring to someone like Reya. It made him the perfect hiding place. A man too unbothered to notice what Reya was keeping secret.
Reya sighed, still sweeping. "Time flies too damn fast. Don't feel like working today…"
"Ever hear that rumor? About the missing billion?" Pyramid's raspy voice cut in, low and eerie like a ghost story with a sexy twist.
Versailles perked up immediately. "Spill."
"Vanished money." Pyramid's gaze flicked up from under his lashes, voice dropping.
"W-what?" Rome gasped.
"No break-ins. No leaks. But the money's gone." His gravelly tone turned the air heavy.
"Impossible," Versailles muttered, chin on his finger, eyes narrowing like he was under a spell.
"You were there that day, right? You and Rey? Me and Versailles skipped out 'cause we faked food poisoning," Rome asked, the group crowding together like wannabe detectives.
Pyramid nodded. "Yeah. Place was locked down. Cameras everywhere."
"So?" Reya glanced up, unimpressed.
"So no one went in. But it's still missing," Pyramid pressed.
Reya shrugged, still mopping. "Who cares."
"Rumor says it's hush money. Paid off every year to keep certain chairs in parliament steady. No one knows who gets it. But they say it's untouchable."
"A billion… per year?" Versailles whispered. "Then it must be someone—big."
"Not Thai," Rome muttered darkly.
Reya scoffed. "Aliens?"
"Fuck off, Rey! Go mop somewhere else!" Rome barked.
"Why use cops for that?" Versailles argued. "If it leaked, the opposition would rip them apart."
Pyramid's eyes narrowed. "You've seen your parents. They don't fear anyone. Except maybe the ones they're paying. Opposition doesn't even matter."
Rome exhaled hard. "Feels like we're already tied to this shit, huh? Like fate's knocking."
Reya grinned, crooked. "The inspector said I'm a thief~"
Pyramid barked a laugh. "You? Reya? Please. You've barely left your room in two months. You look like a caveman sniffing your mate's scent."
"What'd you steal, Rey? You've been broke since forever. Only reason you survived was stripping for cash when you threw a tantrum and ran away from home," Rome shot back—earning a heavy smack to the head.
SMACK!
"I said he called me a thief of virtue."
"Ha! You mean when you forced yourself on him while he was drunk? Only a bastard would pull that. Lucky dick of yours isn't behind bars."
"Please. One taste of this body and hips, even a saint would cave," Reya bragged, smirking shamelessly.
"Pfft." (Pyramid)
"Pfft." (Rome)
"Pfft." (Versailles)
"You guys don't think it's weird? The inspector looks like some saintly guardian of justice…"
"Shut the fuck up already," Pyramid snapped.
"Like a Power Ranger of Morality!"
"Goddammit, Rome!" Reya flicked a rubber band at him.
"But seriously, why would he take this case? Chasing dirty money for the nation's most corrupt politician?"
"Gathering evidence, maybe." Pyramid bit his nail, thoughtful.
"What, planning to throw your dad in prison, Reya? That man's nastier than you." Rome batted his lashes mockingly.
"Not my business. I've only got my man, nobody else."
"You sure he counts you as his man? Pretty boy like that could have an army of fangirls," Versailles jabbed.
"Hooking up's enough. I'm a slut. I crave fun. Wanna get off? Just come to me, babe." Reya wiggled his ass while changing into soccer shorts, still smirking like a bastard.
"…Not our problem. We're just kids. Let's stick to games."
"Yeah…" the others chorused.