Chapter 72 – Mia's Reaction
Sometimes I wonder if happiness has a shape. If it can be touched. If it can be kept in a box, like a letter or a photograph.
Because if I could, I would keep that time with Cody.
The days before he left for camp were the most alive I can remember. Not perfect. Not easy. But full. Full of us.
We went out together whenever we could. Sometimes to the park, sometimes to the music store, sometimes just walking aimlessly. He talked about chords, about ideas, about things he wanted to learn. I listened, I watched him, I loved him in silence.
The nights were ours.
Not all of them. But the ones that were… were intimate. Gentle. Real.
He came in through the porch window, as always. Sat with me on the sofa. Sometimes we talked. Sometimes we kissed. Sometimes we just stayed in silence, hands intertwined, hearts beating as if they knew time was short. Other nights were long, leaving me tired and sore the next day. I still think Cody isn't human.
My mother became more lenient. My father more complicit. And even though they didn't say it, I knew something in them had changed too. Maybe because of Cody. Maybe because of me.
And then came the last day.
The eve of his departure.
I didn't cry. I didn't want to. I wanted it to be joyful. For him to leave with a bright image of me. Of us.
We met in the afternoon. Walked through the park. Sat on the bench where he had read me his first lyric. He was nervous. I was too. But we pretended not to be.
"Are you ready for me to leave?" Cody asked, smiling.
"No. But I want you to have fun," I said.
"And if I miss you?" Cody asked.
"Then write to me. Or come back. Or think of me when you play guitar," I said.
He kissed me. Long. Tender. As if he wanted to memorize me.
And I… let him go.
Not out of resignation.
Out of love.
Because sometimes, loving someone also means letting them leave.
---
The days before Cody left for camp were like a song I didn't want to end.
We went out together whenever we could. Sometimes to the park, sometimes to the music store, sometimes just walking aimlessly. He talked about chords, about ideas, about things he wanted to learn. I listened, I watched him, I loved him in silence.
The nights were ours.
Not all of them. But the ones that were… were intimate. Gentle. Real.
He came in through the porch window, as always. Sat with me on the sofa. Sometimes we talked. Sometimes we kissed. Sometimes we just stayed in silence, hands intertwined, hearts beating as if they knew time was short.
And then came the last day.
We met in the park, as always. The same bench. The sun sinking slowly, as if it too wanted to stay a little longer.
Cody was different.
Not in his clothes. Not in his voice. In his eyes.
Distracted. As if he had something on his mind he didn't know how to name.
I noticed. I felt it. I waited.
Until he said it.
"What would you do if I meet someone there? If I fall in love?" Cody asked, not quite looking at me.
I stayed silent for a few seconds. Not out of surprise. Out of care.
"I don't mind," I said.
He looked at me. Finally.
"You don't mind?" Cody asked.
"Of course I mind. But it doesn't stop me. If that happens, when I'm ready, I'll come for you. And I'll compete with whoever it is. Eve, Roxy, or whoever crosses your path," I said.
He laughed. Not mockingly. In disbelief.
"And what if you don't want to anymore?" Cody asked.
"That's possible too. But today I do want to. And I want you to have fun. To relax. To enjoy without guilt. We're not a couple. I don't owe you fidelity. And you don't owe me love. Loving you is my choice. Not your obligation," I said.
Cody stayed still.
His face shifted a little. As if something inside him had loosened.
He hugged me.
Strong.
Slow.
Real.
"I'll never deserve you," Cody said, voice low.
"Don't say that," I said, but he didn't let me continue.
"I don't know what's coming. I don't know what will happen there. But thank you for this. For you. For your present," Cody said.
I hugged him too.
Not as a goodbye.
As a promise.
Because even if he left, something of me went with him.
And something of him… stayed with me.
---
The living room smelled of freshly made popcorn and expectation.
My mother sat with a cup of tea in her hands, her hair still damp, as if the premiere were a family event. My father, in his soccer shirt and with an unopened beer, settled into the armchair as if he were about to watch the most important match of the year.
And I… I had my heart in my throat.
*Total Drama.* The show. The camp. Cody.
Not as a spectator. Not as a helper. As a competitor.
When he told me, days before, I thought he was joking. Cody, in a reality show. Cody, surrounded by cameras, absurd challenges, and people shouting for attention. But he just shrugged and said: "I want to have fun. I don't care about winning. I want to see what happens."
---
And now… he was about to appear on the screen.
The introduction was quick, colorful, loud. Chris McLean, the host, had that exaggerated energy that only exists on television. Then the parade began.
One by one, the contestants arrived by boat.
The camera showed the camp dock. The lake shimmered under the sun. Chris waited with his shark smile and his clipboard of names.
Gwen was first. Dark, reserved, with a black backpack and a look that said *don't talk to me*. My mother watched her with curiosity. "That girl has something," she said.
Then came Owen. Shouting, hugging everyone, as if camp were a party. My father burst out laughing. "He's going to be the life of the disaster," he said.
Heather arrived as if the world owed her something. With queenly posture and a judgmental smile. My mother frowned. "She's going to cause trouble," she said.
Duncan appeared with his punk hair and defiant stare. My father pointed. "That one's going to fight with everyone," he said.
Leshawna, Lindsay, Harold, Courtney… each with their style, their energy, their way of walking. The show presented them like pieces of a puzzle we didn't yet know how to fit together.
And then… Cody appeared.
One of the last.
The boat approached the dock. He stepped off in his gray hoodie, light backpack, and that way of walking that seemed to say *I'm not sure, but I'm here*. He greeted the driver with a calm smile. He didn't shout. He didn't pose. He just went along.
"There he is!" I said, rising a little from the sofa.
My mother frowned. My father nodded.
"He looks good," my father said.
"He looks relaxed," my mother said.
"He looks like himself," I said.
Chris introduced him with a quick phrase, something like "the techie kid with a Sunday smile," and Cody just raised his hand, as if he didn't need more.
The episode had no challenges. No drama. Solo introductions. Glances. First impressions.
And that… was enough.
Because even if I couldn't touch him, I could see him.
And even if I couldn't talk to him, I could hear him.
And even if I couldn't hug him, I could remember him.
When the last boat arrived and the campers headed to camp, the music swelled, the host cracked a joke about "the adventure is just beginning," and the screen faded to black.
My mother stretched. My father opened his beer. I stayed still.
"What did you think?" my mother asked.
"Chaotic," my father said.
"Real," I said.
I went to my room. Sat on the bed. Opened my notebook. Wrote:
> "First episode. Cody among the last. Gwen distant. Owen loud. Heather venomous. Me… here. Watching him. Loving him. Waiting."
I closed the notebook. Turned off the light.
And I dreamed of a boat crossing the lake, of a butterfly flying, and of a boy who told me, even from afar, that he would always be there for me.
---
The second episode began with an aerial shot of danger. The sea below looked like an open mouth, waiting to swallow the campers. Chris McLean, with his shark smile, announced the first official challenge: jump from the heights into the water. No ropes. No cushions. Just faith and gravity.
My mother frowned from the first minute.
"That's not safe," she said, crossing her arms.
My father shrugged. "It's television. There must be precautions."
I said nothing. I just watched the screen, waiting to see Cody.
The contestants lined up. Some trembled. Others faked bravery. Heather complained. Owen shouted. Gwen watched silently.
One by one, the campers jumped. Some with style. Others with screams. Some with fear. Others with arrogance.
And then Cody appeared.
In his gray hoodie, no backpack. He approached the edge. Took a deep breath. And just before jumping…
He shouted.
Not a scream of fear.
A scream of names.
"Gwen! Courtney! Lindsay! Bridgette!"
My mother turned toward me as if I had been mentioned in a dark ritual.
"What was that?" Helen said.
"A shout," my father said, not understanding.
"He's a lustful boy," my mother said dryly.
I… just smiled.
Not out of pride.
Out of complicity.
Because my mother had no idea.
So I only thought:
[*You have no idea, Mom. No idea.*]
Cody fell into the water with style. Not the best jump. But his. And I… loved him more.
---
The punishment was announced without much ceremony. Chris said it with his usual mocking tone, and the camera focused on Cody, who just shrugged.
My parents didn't quite understand.
"That's a punishment?" my mother said, frowning.
"Looks more like an opportunity," my father said.
I said nothing.
Because I knew.
I knew Cody plays. That he sings. That when he does, he doesn't seek attention. He just connects. With what he feels. With whoever listens.
The scene was brief. Him in front of the others. Doing what he had to. Without exaggeration. Without seeking applause.
But I saw him.
I saw how he moved. How he breathed. How he let something inside him come out unfiltered.
My parents looked at each other.
"That boy has something," my father said.
"Yes," my mother said, softer.
I just watched him.
And then, at the end of the episode, it happened.
A quick scene. No dramatic music. No announcement.
Cody and Gwen, sitting together, talking quietly. She laughed. He looked at her. And then… they kissed.
Not much. Not exaggerated. But real.
My parents looked at me.
They said nothing.
Just waited.
I… felt something.
Not pain.
But a pang.
Jealousy.
Not for the kiss.
For what it meant.
Because Cody was someone hard not to be interested in. Because Gwen was smart, intense, beautiful. Because I knew that could happen.
---
And still…
I looked at him.
I looked at him like someone watching a battle not yet fought.
And I thought:
[*If I could face Eve, you won't defeat me. I'll just wait for him to come back.*]
---
The fourth episode began with balls.
Literally.
Chris McLean appeared on screen with his shark smile and announced the challenge: "Extreme Dodgeball! The team that wins the most matches, wins."
My mother settled into the sofa with her cup of tea. My father leaned toward the screen. I… already knew this wasn't going to be calm.
The campers lined up on the improvised field. Lindsay tied her shoelaces with a distracted smile. Duncan spun the ball in his hand as if it were a grenade. Heather was already complaining. Gwen watched silently.
And Cody… was there.
In his gray hoodie, with that expression of *I didn't come to win, I came to live.*
The challenge began. Balls flew. So did shouts.
Cody dodged with agility. Lindsay ran close to him, laughing. They covered each other. Passed signals. Laughed in the middle of chaos.
My mother noticed.
"Is that Lindsay?" she asked.
"Yes," I said.
"She's very close to Cody," my father said.
I didn't respond.
Because yes, she was close.
And yes, that stirred something in me.
But it wasn't new.
I had already seen Cody with Eve.
With Roxy.
With Becca.
And still… I was here.
Justin, meanwhile, seemed to play for himself. At a key moment, he let a ball hit Cody in the back. Lindsay screamed. Cody fell. Justin irritated.
My mother frowned. "That boy is a traitor."
My father nodded. "He doesn't know how to play on a team."
I… only watched Lindsay.
She went to Cody, helped him up, said something we couldn't hear. He was irritated. She was too.
And I thought:
[*If I could face Roxy, you won't be competition.*]
Not out of arrogance.
Out of certainty.
Because Cody was someone hard not to be interested in.
But I… was hard to replace.
---
The fifth episode was supposed to be simple.
"Survival challenge," said Chris McLean, with his shark smile. "One night in the forest, no help, no comforts. Just you and nature."
My mother settled into the sofa. My father poured himself coffee. I… prepared to see Cody in explorer mode.
But no one was prepared for what happened.
The camera showed the teams walking through the forest. Laughter. Complaints. Sarcastic comments. Cody walked with his group, calm, with a branch in his hand he used as a staff. Lindsay and Bridgette walked near him. Everything seemed normal.
Until it wasn't.
The show's editing was quick. Abrupt cuts. Tense music. Chris saying, "Something unexpected happened."
And then, a distant shot. A roar.
A bear.
A brown bear.
The camera didn't show much. Only shadows. Screams. Movement. Cody running toward the noise. Lindsay screaming. Gwen and Heather falling. Chaos that wasn't fully understood.
My mother covered her mouth.
My father leaned toward the screen.
I… felt my soul leave me.
Because even though they didn't show blood, or wounds, or blows… I knew.
I knew Cody had done something brave.
Oh, stupid.
Oh, both.
Chris said it with a serious tone: "Cody faced the bear to distract it and protect two teammates. The team was evacuated. No one was seriously injured."
But that wasn't enough for me.
The editing wasn't enough.
The host's voice wasn't enough.
The image of Cody being carried by the medical team, with a dirty face and open eyes, wasn't enough.
I… didn't know what to do.
Until the message arrived.
My phone vibrated.
A text.
From Cody.
> "I'm fine. It was crazy. But I'm fine. I swear."
And then… I breathed.
I didn't cry.
I didn't scream.
I just breathed.
Because if that message hadn't arrived, I don't know what I would have done.
I don't know what I would have felt.
I don't know if I would have slept.
I closed my eyes.
Thought of him.
In his gray hoodie.
In his way of walking.
In his voice saying *I don't deserve you.*
And I thought:
[It doesn't matter if it was brave or stupid. It was him. And he's still him.]
---