The walk to the cafeteria was marked by fourteen greetings Matheus received. Fourteen!That only reinforced what Lorena had said: he really was known all over campus. I watched every little move he made, trying to figure out how someone could be that sociable and yet not get involved with anyone in four years of college. It was baffling.
Meanwhile, Lorena wouldn't shut up. She kept whining about how humiliating it was to have two friends hooking up while she'd been "dry for ages."— My mouth is basically opening a school to teach spiders how to kiss — she declared, all dramatic.I tried to ignore her and replied:— I thought you made up for that on Saturday, Lô.She grimaced and started typing something on her phone, making us wait for her comeback.— The day this college brings me someone who can actually give me a proper fix, you can bet I'll be in the Jiu-Jitsu class — she went on — and the most I'll get out of it is a dislocated body part.Matt laughed beside me, and I noticed Lorena gave him a look, like he knew something I didn't.— If you weren't with someone, then where'd you disappear to? — I asked.— Solving some problems, didn't I tell you? — she answered, still glued to her phone before laughing. — Oh, and Rafael says: if he dies, you'll never know.I looked around and saw Rafa waiting near a tree, a strange scowl on his face. I pulled my phone from my pocket and noticed several missed calls. Ugh, I had forgotten it on silent. My old habit of muting it during class still haunted me — I always forgot to switch it back during the day.
From a distance, Rafa's eyes were fixed on Matt with curiosity, and I tried to contain my excitement so I wouldn't give everything away. I ran to him, hugged him, and whispered:— I have news.He studied me suspiciously as we pulled apart.— So, Rafa? You know Aza's hook-up buddy? — Lorena blurted as she joined us.I shrank a little, wishing I could sink into the ground, pretending I hadn't heard that.Rafa's eyes darted from me to Matt as he said:— We haven't met. I'm Rafael, Aza's friend.I smiled faintly, but inside my heart raced. Why did he have to be so… him?Matt shook his hand, and I breathed in relief. Nothing could ruin this moment now.— Matheus! — he said with a grin — I've heard great things about you. And that's with barely any contact with this little flower. — he added, glancing at me.I elbowed him, and he laughed, loving how much it annoyed me.— I've heard about you too — Rafa shot back, remembering when he caught me after my first time with Matt. — Not everyone manages to get that kind of reaction out of her. Aza usually swallows it all in silence.Matheus looked at me, confused, and I shrank beside him.— What do you mean? — Lorena asked, intrigued.
Rafa began to tell the story, and I already knew where this was going: Ludmila.
**Lorena tapped her spoon against the plate, restless, while Matt listened closely to Rafa. I looked around, trying to block out the conversation and soak in the cafeteria instead. It was huge, with tables set for six. Lunch was self-service, with both vegetarian and regular options. The meat of the day was croquettes, surprisingly tasty, but I couldn't focus on them.When Rafa finished, Matt tilted his head at me, as if storing the information for later. I tried to explain that we'd been childhood friends. But Lorena blew up the moment she realized something from back then still lingered in me.
— That girl's lucky I'm not you, Aza. If I were, she'd be toothless right now, wasting her daddy's money on plastic surgery — Lorena hissed, furious. — And if her father came to give me shit, I'd tell him to go fu—— Lô, enough! — Matt cut her off.— It's just that crap like that only ever shows up in my face when it's too late — Lorena went on, stabbing her fork into the meat and chewing in anger.— Actually, it's not too late — Rafa commented, drawing everyone's attention, but mostly mine. — Third table, right behind you.
Time seemed to stop.I turned slowly, almost unwillingly, and there she was.Shit.
The redhead, with long hair and freckles dusting her face, was laughing with a group of girls, looking like the friendliest person in the world.The sound of her laugh hit me like a punch. Suddenly, I was back in seventh grade, sitting in the back of the classroom, just trying to draw and go unnoticed.
The cafeteria disappeared: the clatter of cutlery, the smell of food, the chatter around us… nothing existed except her.I was back to when we were inseparable — me, her, and Rafael. The Three Musketeers. Until, out of nowhere, she stopped talking to me. The following year, she showed up holding hands with two new neighbors, and just like that, I was officially canceled.
First, the ignoring. Then the nicknames. "Flower." "Daisy." Until it became "Little Flower." The secret password to piss me off.
The worst day was when I found her cornering a girl in the alley behind school.— Leave her alone, Ludmila! — I shouted when I saw her tossing the girl's things on the ground.She smiled with that fake angel face that fooled even the principal.— Mind your business, Azaleia! Don't play the hero, little flower.I pushed her, catching her off guard. The moment I realized the situation was bad, I ran off with the girl, but Ludmila never forgot. That was the day I earned the official title of punching bag.
Paper balls turned into shoves. Nicknames turned into public humiliation. I became her favorite pastime.And I learned to swallow it all in silence for the last five years — until now.
I breathed deep, trying to focus on Rafa, on Matt… on anything but Ludmila. But her presence spread through the cafeteria like smoke. Every sound, every smell, every movement was almost unbearable.— She's in my class, and apparently, we've got four more years with her around — Rafael said, oblivious to the storm raging inside me.My stomach dropped.
Not that I didn't know Ludmila wanted to study at Ghosteisd.But Architecture?That, I hadn't expected.And worse: Rafa knew. And kept it to himself.