A shattered Star, that's who Lena Chen was. It didn't matter that the cameras loved her the way she loved fireworks, bright, loud and breathed out smoke afterwards.
"Lena, Lena, Look this way!" They screamed.
They loved her hair, her dress and the way she turned her face just so, letting the flash catch the exact angle the stylist had trained her to achieve. They loved her until she began to feel like a polished, replaceable image, always on schedule.
Tonight, the crowd was louder with more people chanting her name than the rest of the hot celebrities on the red carpet. It should have filled her with warmth and triumph, but instead it felt like being caged in a glass box, with the cheers from the fans bouncing off smooth, impenetrable walls. Lena walked the red carpet with the practised grace of someone who had rehearsed happiness for so long that her body remembered it better than her heart did. The smiles, the waves, the signatures, they were all for the click, click sound of the cameras being shoved at her face.
When the flashes from the cameras stopped and the photographers retreated, the people who benefited from her presence went back to their normal lives and left her to return to hers, but the cheers were still ringing in her ears. It stayed with her like a glitter and made the silence that followed even worse.
She was rushed to the waiting car with the door closed after her, and in there, the mask finally slid off. She exhaled the breath she hadn't known she'd been holding, and slouched on the car seat. When would this end? Lena asked herself, her heart suddenly filled with sadness that she couldn't explain. Her annoying manager, who was the designated driver tonight, spoke further, ruining her night.
"You have a shoot tomorrow at seven. It's a little far from here, so I'll be picking you up early, got it?"
Lena groaned and asked, "What time is early, Han?"
"Four"
"Four! It's already past midnight, and I've barely slept for three weeks now because of the shoot." Lena complained, her bones were already screaming at her that she needed rest, for possibly a month.
"I don't make the rules here, Lena. So if you want to continue having everything you have now, then you'd better stick to it."
Lena stayed silent at her words. What could she say? This was the life she'd fought so hard for.
She took out her phone, opened her playlists and pressed play on the only song she's been listening to on repeat this past month, Wildflower by RM from BTS. And for the entire ride, everything seemed to be at peace until her phone rang.
She stared at the unknown number and froze. No, not today! Please not today!
She panicked and dropped the phone to the ground. "Won't you take the call?" Han asked, but she ignored him
It rang until it finally stopped and then binged with a text.
She picked it up, and her body trembled at the message on the screen, "You can keep pretending. You can keep smiling, but not forever."
This was a different number, not the one she'd blocked just yesterday.
"It's the stalker again," she announced. She pinched the bridge of her nose as she deleted the message. She told herself that deleting it made it less real, the same way touching up a pimple with concealer made it invisible to strangers. That didn't mean that the memories of the words disappeared; they stayed in her mind, occupying her every thought.
Han chuckled, "There's no such thing as a stalker. It's just a fan who wants to get close to you."
She sighed, her chest tightening at his words. They'd had this conversation more than a million times now.
"It's been almost two years now, when is it ever going to stop!" Lena tried to control her rising anger, but his next words dampened her efforts.
"We've tried everything we can, and so you'll just have to live with it. Think of it as the price to fame, you ungrateful b*tch!"
That's it.
"Stop the car." Lena moved from the backseat and shook his hands wildly
"What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you want to kill both of us? Fine, get out"
He slammed the brakes, throwing Lena forward and causing her head to hit the dashboard. She ignored the pain and ran out of the car onto the sidewalk. Lena didn't look back as she began to walk away. She heard her manager shout that he'd pick her tomorrow as he zoomed past.
She hailed a taxi home after that. The company had rented an apartment at one of the luxurious communities for her, but that wasn't home. Her home was in one of the most reserved and private neighbourhoods, where the media couldn't reach her. Her home was the one she shared with Ethan Wei, the nation's sweetheart and pop idol, her secret husband. Their love story had started like those written in books. She'd always been a fan of his and had managed to get signed to the same label as him. They crossed paths a few times, but nothing had happened until they'd starred together in a variety show. In a week, they'd started dating secretly and had moved in together against the company's rules. Fast forward, Ethan had proposed to Lena, and they had gotten married. They had married secretly two years ago against the company's wishes. There had been no flashes, no audience, not even their parents.
Lena remembered the day as though it had been yesterday. She'd been so happy to have her dream man. She was enjoying life with her secret husband and her rising career until three months after her wedding, when everything began to go downhill, and the anonymous messages started. Her belief that some things could be real and still be private began to tremble. The word used to make her heart flutter, but now it only casts a shadow of sadness upon her.
She entered the house to find it empty and cold as usual. She took a bottle of water from the double-door fridge and just as she turned to head to the bedroom, her doorbell echoed loudly in the apartment. Lena froze. Ethan had been touring the world these past three months, so it couldn't have been him.
Lena picked up a baseball bat she kept in the kitchen and slowly approached the door. She looked through the peephole but could see no one there. Slowly, she opened the door to the apartment and found a box on the other side. Scared, she picked it up quickly and locked the door.
Lena stared at the box, contemplating whether to open it. The company had strict rules on this, but she thought, 'What if it's a package from Ethan?'
Making up her mind, she opened the box but let out a scream. The sound was so loud that it echoed through the large apartment.
In the box was a knife with what looked to be blood and the severed head of a doll. There was a note inside, and its content terrified her further: 'You can't hide forever. Soon you'll be six feet in the ground.'
Lena fell to the ground in tears. "When was this ever going to end?" She screamed, clutching her chest and wishing this was all a dream and that she'd wake up and find herself in their bed with Ethan beside her, loving her.
She sobbed like she had never done before while the box lay on the ground, haunting her. Three hours later, Lena left the apartment with the cursed box still in there, disguised and with a duffel bag she'd packed a few of her clothes in. Since she didn't have a car, she took the bus to the airport. She'd booked a flight to Boston, where her parents lived, a few hours ago. She couldn't spend a day here any longer.
At exactly 4 o'clock, her phone lit up with Han's name, but she ignored it. To hell with her schedule. If she didn't get away, then she'd end up mad. A few hours and minutes later, she boarded the plane and arrived in Boston.
The city was the contrast of her mood and emotions; lively, youthful, sunny, she could go on and on. She didn't go to her parents' home; instead, she booked a hotel close by. The last time she'd seen her parents had been almost two years, and they'd had a big fight. One big enough to cause two years of silence from both ends.
Three days later, Lena stood on the balcony of her hotel room, her new phone clutched tightly in her hand. She'd already spent more than a day here, but the emptiness she felt only seemed to increase. She couldn't help but think of Ethan, how he'd continued to choose his career over her, the woman he claimed to love. Now the world didn't look as bright as it used to. Everything didn't seem to matter as it used to. A thought ran through her mind, startling her. She tried to hush the whispers in her head, but they only got louder.
Loud enough that she made her decision. Lena looked at her phone and pressed send on all the drafted messages except Ethan's. Even the love she had for him wasn't enough. He'd made his choice and she'd made hers.
And in the silence of her hotel room, Lena Chen finally let go.
.