"Marry me, Azazel."
Lucien dropped to one knee, holding out a small box with a glittering ring inside. My eyes locked onto it, and I stumbled back, swallowing hard. No. This couldn't be happening. My stomach twisted in knots.
"What's going on?" I asked, pretending not to understand because there was no way he had feelings for me.
He chuckled, his innocent yet devastatingly handsome face softening into a smile that revealed the dimples I secretly adored.
"I'm asking you to marry me. I want you to be my wife."
"B-but I'm not your mate. What if I'm not your mate?" My voice trembled, struggling to accept the words leaving his lips.
"Fuck the mate bond," he said firmly. "I don't care about that. The mate bond zisn't real if you're not my mate. What's real is this..Azazel, you captured my heart from the moment I first saw you in the forest. I've been fascinated by you…your beauty, your heart, your smile, your voice. You sing and scare the birds away, you make the dead run. How could I not fall?"
We both let out a soft laugh, but I couldn't believe this. I….Azazel…the lowly assassin who had dedicated her entire life to hunting and killing the Riverdale pack, who swore to make them pay for slaughtering my parents, was standing in front of the Alpha's son… being asked to marry him. And the worst part?
I wanted to say yes. I wanted the ring. I wanted to be his wife, to have a family, to live in the peace his pack had stolen from me.
But that wasn't the plan. The plan was to make the Moretti brothers fall for me… and use them to my advantage.
So why did my heart ache now? Why did my stomach hurt? Why were tears pouring down my face? I should take the ring. I should take my revenge before the wedding. Right?
Lucien rose and set the ring gently on the ground. He brushed my tears away with his thumb, then pulled me into a tender embrace.
"Why are you crying, Master? Didn't you once tell me tears were a sign of weakness?" he whispered, still smiling that innocent smile.
"I'm sorry. I can't," I said, breaking the embrace and pushing him back slightly.
His smile faded, replaced by a broken expression.
"But… why? You love me, Azazel. I know it. I see it in your eyes. So why reject me?"
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do!"
"NO, I don't!" I shouted. He stumbled back at the force of my voice.
"The only bond between us is that of student and master. I chose to train you to become a better wolf while you accepted me as your maid and brought me into the High House," I said, forcing out the truth of our arrangement.
"And what about everything after that, huh?" he demanded, stepping closer.
I backed away until my shoulders hit the wall, but he didn't stop. His long silver hair slipped over his face, and his golden eyes shone with pain as he closed the distance between us.
What about those nights, Azazel? After we exhausted each other in training… or when you'd come to my room and pretend to clean, but all you did was stare at me with that soft smile on your lips. What about the time you gave me your lucky bracelet to protect me from danger? Why do you stay even after training ends? Why do your eyes soften every time you look at me? Why does your heartbeat race whenever I get close—like it is right now? …..You love me, Azazel. Just admit it. We're made for each other!" he growled, his breath hot against my face, my own heartbeat pounding in my ears.
He was right. I had fallen in love with him—deeply. But he was also wrong. We weren't made for each other. I was danger itself. I was the one who killed his mother in my quest for revenge. I was the assassin he'd been trained to hunt. I was the reason he wanted to become stronger. The only reason I gave him that bracelet was to protect him from the greatest danger he'd ever face….ME..
"I'm sorry, Lucien. I can't marry you. I just can't." My voice cracked. I didn't even know what I was doing anymore. My plan was to make him fall for me so I could use him, but now I couldn't even accept his ring. Because I had fallen for him, too. And so…i had to run. Far away.
I pushed him back, but his hand shot out, gripping my arm. Tears glistened at the edges of his golden eyes, and my heart splintered at the sight.
"Can I… at least kiss you? Just once. The first and the last."
I swallowed hard. Without thinking, I grabbed his face and crushed my lips against his. His breath mingled with mine, his mouth moving protectively over me, desperate, claiming. Our tongues met, tangling in a bittersweet goodbye.
When we broke apart, I slipped my hand into his robe and stole his royal plaque. Then I ran.
I ran faster than my legs could carry me, until my body crashed against the forest floor. My lungs burned, my chest heaved.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" My wolf's voice thundered in my head. "Failure! Is this how you avenge your parents? Is this how you repay their brutal deaths? By falling in love with the enemy? By letting your only chance at revenge slip away because of weak emotions? FAILURE!"
"Stop!" I screamed, clutching my head, but the voice only grew louder.
"BASTARD!"
"Stop!"
"WEAKLING!"
"Please, stop!"
"You want me to stop? Then turn it off."
My heart stuttered. "Please… don't make me turn it off," I begged.
"WEAKLING!" her voice howled. "You've only killed one of them. Do you think it's over?"
"Please… stop. I said STOP!" I roared, and the trees trembled, birds scattering into the sky.
"Then turn it off, and I will stop."
"Why are you doing this?" My voice broke, my chest tightening until I thought it would split.
"Because your pathetic emotions are in the way of our revenge," she spat.
And she was right. I should have accepted Lucien's ring. His plaque. My direct path into the High House as his wife, to execute revenge from the inside. But I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to harm him, not even emotionally.
"Fine," she hissed. "If you can't turn it off, then I'll help you."
And she dragged me back into the memory I dreaded most.
My parents' screams. My father's body ripped apart by wolves, his flesh devoured before my eyes. My mother's blood pooling as Lucien's father, the Alpha, stabbed her over and over. I, hidden in a sack of clothes, trembling, suffocating, watching them die.
"Turn it off," my wolf demanded. "Do it for them. Do it for their pain. For their blood. Turn off your emotions and take our revenge."
And I did…