Sin Louise
OUT of desperation to survive, I found myself completely complying to the situation by not defying Fujihara's way to get me out of that sinister building. I have a lot of questions and curses in mind but my mouth remained shut, also out of exhaustion from earlier.
I'm just looking at Fujihara's back as he firmly sat on the passenger seat while a person in the same uniform as him was driving the car.
What's his plan?
The car is filled with silence, the only thing that you can hear is the vehicle. I sighed and evaluated my current status because if I started to talk, I won't stop until I cursed every existing thing in this world.
" This is not the time to open your mouth."
I was taken aback when he talked, his head tilted partly without directly looking at me. That statement made me scoff and I have no choice but to remain silent.
I don't even f*cking know how he read my mind.
What's important is, I'm out of that horrible place.
I remained on my seat while gazing out the window with my arms crossed. The car stopped in the middle of this dark road with tall trees and the road was blocked with metal barriers that's removed by the soldiers guarding the area. I ignored my surroundings and drifted off to my own existential crisis. I'm in the midst of my thoughts when I suddenly averted my attention to my reflection in the window.
My eyes widened while my gaze remained fixated on the reflection…
It's not my face.
I slowly moved to glance at Fujihara. The edge of my lips arched because of disbelief as my eyes went to the rearview mirror. Just by the sight of those unfamiliar eyes, I grew more serious. I cannot see any familiarity in what I see, but I have this feeling the moment that I woke up…
The feeling that I'm in a different body.
I swallowed, not talking or questioning any further. My form of panic is to not panic at all.
let's just say I'm fully defeated by logic that I cannot defy what's happening. It's just what it was.
I swallowed and glanced at Fujihara again, starting to be aware on how this body makes me feel.
This body feels healthier…because there's not a single day that I haven't felt a discomfort in my rotting body—
Why am I even thinking as if it's a logical thing? To embody another's body?
TIME feels irrelevant as I dissociated the whole situation that I found myself sitting on a velvet sofa inside his Victorian looking house that's accommodated by Japanese peasants that's wearing kimonos. I have come to terms that I'm in a foreign place—which is Japan. That's an acceptable thing but this overall body switch and vintage looking surroundings?
I would rather die.
I watched him sit in front of me and he asked the peasants to leave. I'm just leaning back against the sofa, exhausted from everything that all I'm capable of is to stare at him, watching his moves intently while also processing what's currently happening.
He's thinner than the last time I saw him. He's also younger and his overall appearance is different, but the resemblance is uncanny. He's wearing this black uniform that looks like a military uniform but I'm sure it's different.
" What happened to your daughter?" I asked while directly looking at him. He's just sitting firmly with that blank look, as if I'm not the murderer of his daughter. " Her body is nowhere to be found." I added, provoking him so that I could see through his intentions, or perhaps to form a reason on why I'm here. Yet, his face remained blank as he held eye contact.
" You're my daughter." He firmly said and I thought confusion would drift unto me, instead, I have this calm of acceptance. Acceptance of any information that will be given to me.
" I know this is not me. But I don't know where I am and how it happened. I'm much more surprised to prove to myself that you're not normal at all. All those things that happened to me and to those around me have no logic." I said and I didn't expect my words to be as calm as it was. Our interaction has no anger at all.
Because we did each other dirty, and what we did to one another both weighed the same pain. Therefore, it is quits.
" Time is never divided. Past, present, and future all exist at the same time and pace." He talked as he removed his service hat and he leaned forward to look at me intently. " Individual souls exist to fulfill a role. Every role is important, especially at this time. A body could not be left empty if the soul that's supposed to occupy it cannot fulfill the duty anymore."
The side of my lips arched, unsure on what to say or if I can provide a solution. It's just what it was.
" So the soul in this body left?" I asked with a bit of sarcasm, but that's the real question that should be asked.
His face remained blank.
" You killed her." His firm response made me silent for a while. I cannot understand a thing, all I knew is my end would either be hell or a punishment.
Let's just say this is my after life.
" But this body…I don't recognize this body." My tone became much more quiet and serious, it's an odd thing to correct someone regarding your own murder.
" Souls are not a singular thing and every lifetime, fragments of soul inhabit a different body. You won't understand anything, Akahana." He looked at the side, observing the decayed flowers in the vase. " Soul death can occur once a soul is unable to do its role in each lifetime, or if a soul inhabits a lifetime of tragic death."
" So fragments of my soul still exist here?" I asked and looked around. " That means I could meet my past self." I added out of anticipation. He glanced at me with that menacing look, as if I had said the stupidest thing he had ever heard.
" You died in the present lifetime, and you're here. Your soul is too new to even exist in the past, you're way too earthy to be someone who once lived in this timeline."
A rush of coldness entered my system as my eyes fixated on the vase in front of us, deeply thinking about what he said.
Right, I don't even feel interested in humanistic sh*ts.
" You eventually enabled a soul death. The time aligned with my daughter's soul death in the future and her death here, in the past. She's forever gone and unable." His voice was still serious, I must say, I'm starting to make logic out of it but I cannot understand a sh*t.
He sighed and looked at me with a sense of disappointment.
" I'm also here to fix what occurred in the past, since the present's downfall would eventually unleash if I won't play the role again. It just happened that you killed my daughter in the present. Therefore you have to fulfill her role in this lifetime because she died."
I think mathematics is much easier than this.
" Time is a mathematical thing, it is separated. But everything exists all at once." He stood up and looked down on me. " You won't understand anything, and you don't have to. You just have to fulfill the role or another will. The moon delegates souls for empty bodies that should fulfill an important role here, in this timeline. You can try many attempts to kill yourself, to kill another person again. But remember that punishment is always followed by another punishment."
He turned his back and he's about to walk but I stood in front of him to interfere. " You're simply telling me that I'm locked in this existence and I'm a captive." I started in a sharp tone.
His face remained blank. " This is hell, Akahana. No soul can run free after causing harm to another soul, not just my daughter's but the murder and crime you committed against other people. You won't be here if it's not hell."
What he said got into me, that for a moment, I felt this fear inside me. Fear of what is meant to come, and the emptiness because I feel so lost.
Nothing is in my control.
" Why did this body die then?" The only thing that I could ask. I should at least know why.
" My daughter's soul is tasked to go against mine every lifetime. I poisoned her." He firmly answered without any hint of remorse.
What the heck?
" Then…if it's the same soul of the daughter that you have in the present—the one that I killed—that means you also have to pay." I darted back his threats and a small smile appeared on his lips.
" I am here to pay for my debt. She's meant to fulfill a role that I interrupted, yet you killed her fully. You reap what you sow, therefore bear her duty."
I pointed at myself, trying to grasp what he's saying.
" I don't even speak Japanese." I asked sarcastically and he raised his chin.
" You don't have the same soul as hers so you will be led in accordance with what's supposed to happen, in accordance with your punishment. But one thing is for sure." His face became serious again. " That you're qualified because it'll be brutal."
He turned his back and I watched him head towards the stairs. I am looking like a lost child, with my mouth barely parted.
I thought I'm here because my story is not bound to end.
But I find myself in another, not in the start or the end
But the middle of its chapters.