Kazu felt his head drumming.
'What's with all the noise?'
He opened his eyes, but the light was too blinding.
It took him a few seconds to adjust to the light.
The first thing he saw was a brown-haired girl. His eyes were blurry, but he didn't need them to guess it was.
"Huh" That was what made him confused.
"Wait, it worked?"
"No way. He WOKE UP!" Cana lifted her arms in excitement.
"...What?" 'What exactly did happen?'
Kazu didn't have to wait for long as he quickly remembered what exactly happened. How he had sneaked attacked Hades and instead got sneaked attacked in return.
"Did he get amnesic or something?" Gray frowned.
Erza narrowed her eyes. "Maybe we should try hitting his head a few times."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...Normally, I would have said that's crazy. But I think it might work, so let's try it. I will even use his magic to enhance." Cana took out a card for Enhancement magic.
"The hell? What do you mean hit me? I didn't forget anything." Kazu quickly waved his hands. He didn't have any Ethernano in his body to make a barrier in case Cana actually decides to attack him.
"Tch. Guess, that's good." Cana clicked her tongue.
Kazu just deadpanned. "Your face says otherwise."
Cana rolled her eyes. However, her expression quickly changed. She quickly punched Kazu in the chest.
"OUCH! It fucking hurts." He groaned.
"Why did you fucking run away? Without even saying anything." Cana's hair hid her face, but from Kazu's angle, he could see her eyes. Currently, she was sitting on Kazu's stomach.
He turned away. "Didn't I say the reason to everyone else? Didn't you ask them?"
Cana didn't say anything for few seconds, before—
Thud
"FUCK! Stop hitting at the same spot. Aren't I supposed to be injured? This has to be some form of patient abuse." Kazu missed his barrier magic very much at the moment.
He turned to Gray for help.
"You are all healed up with the help of an artefact." Gray said before turning away.
'Traitor'
Kazu didn't have any time to curse Gray as Cana had cocked her fist back, preparing for another punch.
"I...I was just scared of losing everybody...Also, I can't just face you after almost killing you." Kazu's throat felt dry as images of how he had almost killed Cana popped up in his mind.
"Okay...So, which was it first reason or latter?" Cana finally opened her mouth.
Kazu furrowed his eyebrows. "Didn't I say both? Did you somehow get your hearing damaged or something?"
THUD
"OUCH. What was that for?" Kazu had a wronged expression.
Cana ignored his expression. "Don't you always say that prioritisation is very important in life? We can't prevent all the eggs in the basket from breaking. So, we need to choose which ones not to break instead of letting everything break?"
'Why does she have to remember that now?' "I...it's not that simple."
"Skill Issue."
Kazu felt himself go speechless. He glanced at Cana, who had a smirk on her face.
'Tch. Is this karma?'
"So? I know you don't have a skill issue. It's more like you don't want to answer... no?"
Kazu's face scrunched. She had hit the bullseye.
"...It's the latter." Kazu finally opened his mouth.
"What was latter? I forgot what that was." Cana made a confused face. Normally, Kazu wouldn't have thought that it was a lying face.
Kazu gritted his teeth. "I couldn't just face you after almost killing you."
"Oh, who? Who's that person you can't face?"
Kazu sighed. He now had a resigned expression. "Just kill me already."
"Okay." Cana lifted her fist and—
THUD
"NO—I mean, do it painlessly. Didn't I at least do it painlessly for you?"
"But I didn't ask you to kill me."
"..." Kazu didn't have any comeback for it.
In fact, he didn't think they would be joking about killing Cana.
The silence stretched for a few seconds, only to be broken by Cana clearing her throat.
"Master, this is not about forgiveness," She tried to sound sad, but failed miserably at it.
"T—That's not how I said it." Kazu felt his face burning up. He wanted to find a rock and hide under it for the rest of his life.
"Really? That's how Gray said it."
"I didn't!" Gray's replied almost instantly.
Kazu shot him a betrayed look. Gray could only shrug.
"Anyway, you didn't even say sorry and ran away. Isn't that what they call... irresponsibility? Like how some guild members are called that when they dine and dash."
"...This and that are completely different cases." Kazu felt his mind circuit at comparing both cases.
"So, you do admit that it was irresponsible. Didn't think that the 'Mature' Kazu would be so irresponsible. Can't even apologise."
Kazu felt an invisible arrow piercing his heart. He was supposed to be mentally oldest person in the room, yet he felt like a child being lectured.
"That's not true. It's not irresponsibility. I felt like apologising at that point would be just futile. I mean, you can't just almost kill somebody and then say, 'Sorry for almost killing you. I will make sure that it doesn't happen again.' Or something." Kazu huffed.
"You can't?" Cana tilted her head. This time, she was actually confused.
'What type of conversation is even this?'
"Well, if it took only a 'Sorry', then laws and courts won't exist, would they?"
Cana nodded. "Makes sense. Then why do people apologise?"
Kazu paused. This question caught him off guard. He thought for a few seconds.
"Well...I guess, to ask for others' forgiveness, to repair their relationship."
Cana narrowed her eyes. "So, you didn't ask for forgiveness 'coz you don't want to repair our friendship?"
"N—No. I didn't mean that! I just thought it was futile as you can't just forgive somebody who almost kills you, right?" 'What is she actually trying to achieve?'
Cana slowly nodded. "Right... So, would you have forgiven me if I had almost killed you?"
'That's not going to...' Kazu opened his mouth to retort, but stopped himself.
He currently didn't have any magic to defend himself. Cana was on top of him. If she wanted to, she could kill him before Gray or Erza could do anything.
'Right. I am in such a helpless state... yet, I don't feel any anxiousness.' This was the first time Kazu had been in such a situation. Previously, even in the worst situations, he still had Ethernano to give him a false sense of security.
Yet, currently, he didn't even have that false shield, yet he didn't feel any worry.
He could picture himself dying next instant.
'I...I wouldn't mind. Though that might be due to guilt of almost killing her. What if that didn't happen and she does this...'
Kazu tried to imagine himself dying like that.
'I would feel betrayed... Oh, wait, I need to consider the case that it happens accidentally.' Kazu changed the scenario and imagined himself dying like that.
"I...My case is different." 'I don't put much value on myself. At least compared to the guilt she would have to face otherwise.' Those words were left unsaid.
"Well, then, my case is also different. What if I say I forgive you?"
"You can't!" Kazu almost instinctively said that.
Cana was startled by her voice, but replied, "And why can't I?"
"I...Okay, what's the reason for you forgiving me?" Kazu lowered his voice.
Cana looked him right in the eye.
"Duh, Coz you are Family. I can forgive you for that."
"..." Kazu felt his throat go dry.
Kazu had always wondered what it means to Love. In this life, this question had been answered... quite painfully.
He had been on both sides— Receiving unconditional love and Giving Unconditional love.
The love without expecting anything in return. A love that goes against the very human nature.
In both these cases, the world had reminded him why it's called cruel.
Kazu had been very careful about attaching himself to people, and somehow, he had failed at that task.
It would have been fine if it ended there.
'Right, I forgot that I am not the only one who can love others.' Kazu had forgotten that he had joined Fairy Tail: A guild where each member is treated as family—quite seriously.
Looking at Cana's determined expression, he realised that he was playing a losing game. It wouldn't have mattered whether he had succeeded in preventing getting attached to others.
He knew that sooner or later, he would realise that others had gotten attached to him. And he didn't trust himself to sever those ties— he was not that cruel.
'I shouldn't have joined the guild.'
Despite thinking that, a smile crept up on Kazu's face.
"What are you smiling like that? I haven't forgiven you yet. You have to ask me nicely if you want my forgiveness."
Kazu's lips twitched. "On second thought, I don't feel like apologising. Your face looks too stupid for that."
"Pfft..." Gray snickered.
"Hey! Don't copy Gray." Cana's fist loomed over Kazu's chest, yet the latter didn't react.
THUD
"Huh?" Cana felt her fist hit an invisible wall.
"It's not my fault for you acting stupid." Kazu shook his head. He had recovered enough magic to build a few more barriers.
He quickly slid off the bed, rushing to the window.
"Hey! Stop running. Gray help me."
"Nope. I don't want to come into your fight." Gray said with a smirk.
"Erza!" Cana instantly switched. She wasn't expecting much from Gray in the first place.
"I would like to apologize—"
"3 Big strawberry Cakes."
Swords appeared around Erza as they instantly surrounded Kazu.
Erza had a determined expression on her face. "I don't know how you came to know that information, but I will forgive you if you add one more."
"Deal." Cana grinned.
"That's cheating!" Kazu complained. He then turned to Gray.
"As I said, it would be disrespectful for me to come into your fight." Gray wasn't in any mood to get beaten by a determined Erza.
"Traitor!"
Outside the hospital ward, Makarov leaned on the door.
The smile on his face was brighter than the sun.
End of Volume 1: What does it mean to be a family?
(60K Words )
***
Desire here.
First of all, thanks for reading until this point. It really means to know that somebody reached this point. So, thank you for that.
I know that this volume wasn't the best, especially this arc, but I tried my near best, at least under my circumstances. I could promise you that the next arc would be even better.
Well, now that gratitude is out of the way, you guys can skip the following, as I would probably be ranting or telling my xp or something.
If you haven't skipped, then it means you are interested in me or, more specifically, the author of this book. How A-meow-sing.
(What am I even saying)
We are finally done with Volume 1. Didn't think that it's already 60k words. This fic has my highest words per chapter rate. Like, this is like 1.7k words per chapter or something. Like this chapter itself was 1.7k words(not counting my author note).
Some of you might not know this, but this is not my first book. I have written a few fictions before. It's been over a year since I was a writer.
I was even quite popular as a reader on this website. (Now I am not coz I got shadow-banned. This is also the reason why I don't reply to comments as I can't. )
Writing my previous works has taught me a lot of things. One thing that it has taught me, along with life, is—
Expectations.
To have low expectations.
One of the reasons I get frustrated is that my fics don't reach my unrealistic expectations.
So, one thing for this fic I am going to do is have low expectations. This aligns with my goals as I am not writing this book specifically to earn, but rather to train my writing skills.
I have left expectations for earning from this hobby as my expectations for it won't be satisfied anytime soon.
Why am I saying this?
No Idea.
Wait—I mean, if you want to support me and don't want to spend money, one thing you could do is give me feedback.
Honest Feedback.
One example would be feedback on this arc.
What did you like about this arc? What moments do you still remember? Why did you like it?
What felt bad? Why?
What are parts that weren't exactly bad, but could have been improved? How?
Just answering these questions would make me pretty happy. Like, this is the exact thing I need from this book, and you are giving me.
So, if you did answer it, thank you. *Cat-wow*.gif.
Anyway, back to expectations. Though I don't want to make any predictions, it would be pretty funny to make one and see how it differs from reality. I am 100 % expecting those predictions not to be met.
Currently, there are:
225 Collections
67.81k Views
16 Chapters
27.32 k words( Why am I even writing this here?)
20 Power stones.
This chapter will be released in around 3 weeks or so.
That's almost the same time frame as when this fic was released.
So, logically, the stats should double, right? If it's growing, which I can at least hope for, right?
Well, here comes the tricky part. If I look at my last fic(MHA: Temporal Infinox), this more or less happened. Well, you could say it even tripled in that time frame (Everything except Power stones), as I think during that time, people are more likely to read a book with more chapters(Me included).
But, will I call that success?... Oh, well, let's hold that question and let me tell you about my previous to previous book, which is my most successful book. (Black Clover: Nah I'D Lose).
I would say, it's stats...Well, I don't remember the exact metrics, but the highest Power stones it had accumulated in a week were nearly 600 Power stones, which is a holy amount.
I believe it did it in less than 40 chapters.
Well, it fell off after that 'coz I went off with making OC characters work, which technically I did in this arc too, but it was interwined with Canon Characters, so it should be hopefully fine.
Anyway, I don't want to worry about that, my expectations for this fic are that when this fic is released, it will hopefully be:
1.5K + Collections
250k+ Views
200 Power Stones.
It's not as impossible as it sounds, as I think this fic is sooner or later going to get traction.
Anyway, it would be pretty funny if it went viral and made these expected stats look like a joke.
Well, that's not even wishful thinking, but rather being delusional.
Anyway, whatever happens, it won't really change the fact that I will continue the fic. I am at least going to write another Volume and reach over 100 chapters.