I kept holding it for a while.
Its shape was strange.
Not like my grandfather described.
I think it had what my grandfather calls… wilting.
It wasn't beautiful.
But I kept staring at it for a long time.
Is this really a flower?
Its texture was like damp skin… petals black as dead wood… but…
I loved it.
---
Two days passed.
I couldn't sleep.
And I didn't understand why.
It wasn't beautiful.
Yet I wanted to see it more.
Every time I put it back in the box,
it became the thing I thought about the most.
Is this… beauty?
Something you get attached to so much you can't think of anything else?
Is that why my father wanted to find the Oasis?
Is it that beautiful?
I became unable to resist, I couldn't leave it.
I put the flower behind my ear.
I didn't know why, but wearing it felt soothing.
I couldn't leave it.
Is this addiction?
After a while I asked myself:
"If a wilted flower does this to me, what would a real flower do?"
Then suddenly I remembered a rainy day,
when I was in the tent with my grandfather sheltering from the rain.
He asked me:
"Faril… do you know what an Oasis is?
It's a beautiful place, like an ocean in the middle of the desert, surrounded by fertile soil and many flowers.
Like light at the end of a tunnel."
I used to listen to him,
but I didn't care.
It was one of his usual ramblings about beauty.
But now… I think I began to understand his love for flowers…
I think I understood why my father risked everything…
My father isn't an idiot… I'm the idiot.
I need to see it…
I need to see that Oasis.
I need to see more beauty.
I decided to look for it… for the Oasis.
I began packing my things for the journey.
I didn't have much to pack.
Some bottles of water, a birdcage-like net to trap faliz, and I was going to fetch the bed…
I found that there was something next to the box that held the letter.
It was a book… no, a large notebook.
I opened it and found drawings inside,
drawings of creatures I had never seen before,
and information about them.
There was a page about the faliz… it read:
Name: Skotiz.
Weight: about less than half a kilogram.
Length: about 20 centimeters.
Temperament: peaceful.
My name fits it better.
Anyway, I think this notebook has information about creatures on the road.
But how did it get here?
This isn't his handwriting, and my grandfather said my father wasn't good at drawing.
Was it owned by an adventurer?
Did he leave it here?... why?
No matter, it will be useful to me,
useful to find the Oasis,
to find beauty.
Suddenly a sheet fell from the notebook.
Wait… not a sheet, but a cloth.
A cloth like my father's letter.
Is it another letter?
I bent to pick it up,
then suddenly I couldn't move.
The place seemed to darken… my heart began to race… I heard footsteps coming toward me from the front.
I looked up,
to find a tall figure before me,
its height was like three meters, and its head… was a skull… an animal skull!
I wanted to run… I wanted to scream… I wanted to do anything.
My sweat poured… my heart beat faster… I was about to cry.
Suddenly it stretched out its hand and stepped closer to me.
I began to ask:
Is this the end?
Won't I be able to see beauty?
Will I die like this?
I kept hearing my grandfather's voice in my head,
I couldn't understand what he was saying; his voice was garbled.
Suddenly I found it reached for the letter and grabbed it,
then it said in a faint voice:
"You… I… are alike… I want… to see more…"
Then it vanished in the blink of an eye with the letter.
I fell to my knees from fear.
What was that… for God's sake?
A demon?
"See more? Alike?"
I'm not like it! I'm not ugly like it!
I kept thinking.
Was I going to die… like that?
I wouldn't see more beauty and I wouldn't learn more about it.
I will not die before I try.
I will not accept that.
I grabbed my things and put them in my bag.
Nothing will stop me,
not even that thing.
I will go… I will go to see beauty,
no matter the cost.
To be continued.
Next chapter: My Beginning