Sabaody Archipelago, Shopping District.
Bahr slumped lazily on a sofa in the corner of the boutique, letting out a yawn as a tear formed at the corner of his eye. He muttered under his breath, "Women are such a hassle."
During their two-week wait for the ship's coating, the crew had been idling around the island.
As adults, they each had their own plans. Enel, that chuunibyou, hadn't run off either—he'd been roaming the lawless zone with his God Enforcers, wrecking gambling dens one day and electrocuting protection racketeers the next.
Not that there were any decent folk in that area to begin with. Since he hadn't caused any incidents big enough to alert the Marines, Bahr couldn't be bothered to rein him in.
Nico Robin and Paula were both steady personalities. Once they teamed up, even Mr. 1 and Mr. 5 ended up tagging along under the pretense of gathering supplies—though in reality, they were just being used as free labor by the two women.
That left Bahr with Miss Valentine, Porche, and Perona.
They say three women make a drama, and that couldn't be more true.
Over the past few days, he'd taken them everywhere worth visiting on the island—they'd ridden the carousel at the amusement park three times, the rollercoaster had left his eardrums ringing, and the shooting gallery owner had been sent stumbling by Perona's Hollows.
Just when he thought they'd had their fill and he could finally enjoy some peace, the moment they stepped into this shopping district, their feet had rooted themselves in front of this boutique.
Bahr glanced toward the fitting rooms, listening to the rustling of fabric and the incessant chatter inside, and couldn't help but curl his lip.
Buying clothes should be simple—see something you like, pay for it, and leave. Why did they have to nitpick for hours? This one's neckline is too tight, that one's sleeves are too wide. They'd be better off grabbing a chilled juice at the corner stall.
Besides, he much preferred them without clothes.
"Boss~ What do you think of this?"
The fitting room curtain was yanked aside with a flourish as Miss Valentine leaned against the doorframe, her fingers tugging lightly at the neckline of a black spaghetti-strap dress, her voice dripping with honey.
The deep V-neck revealed the elegant lines of her collarbones, while the hem barely covered her thighs, offering glimpses of her long, pale legs with every movement. A silver chain belt swayed at her waist, accentuating every curve.
She deliberately arched her back, pushing out her chest and tilting her hips into a lazy, seductive pose as she shot Bahr a look laced with playful arrogance. "Am I so stunning you can't look away, Boss~?"
Bahr's gaze swept over her, from the plunging neckline down to the dress's clinging silhouette, before giving her a firm thumbs-up. "Looks great."
"Hmph~ Of course it does~" Miss Valentine drawled with a laugh, flipping her hair as she turned back into the fitting room, the hem of her dress brushing the doorframe and leaving a trail of sweet perfume in its wake.
No sooner had the curtain closed than it was flung open again, this time revealing Porche in a dark blue form-fitting uniform. "Boss~ Doesn't this make me look super authoritative~?" she cooed.
She spun in place, her white-stockinged legs flashing beneath the short skirt as her black patent leather boots tapped a staccato rhythm on the floor. The silver badge on her chest jiggled with the motion. "Don't I look like some big-shot officer in this beret~?"
"More like a little adjutant who snuck out of some base," Bahr mused, stroking his chin before smirking. "Still, miles better than that floral shirt of yours."
"Meanie~!" Porche pouted, stomping her foot in mock indignation, though her voice remained syrupy sweet. She turned on her heel, deliberately making her boots clack loudly against the floor as if throwing a playful tantrum.
When the curtain opened a third time, Perona emerged clutching her skirt, her pink hair spilling over her shoulders beneath a black top hat. She tilted her chin up haughtily. "Hey, look at this!"
She wore a black lace puff dress layered with white satin ribbons, the veil from her hat obscuring half her face but doing nothing to hide the expectant gleam in her wide eyes. "Don't I look just like the Ghost Princess now?"
Bahr gave her an appraising once-over before chuckling. "Like a fancy black lace doll. Much better than before."
"W-What's that supposed to mean?!" Perona's cheeks puffed out, her pink locks swaying as she huffed and floated back into the fitting room, the lace hem of her skirt brushing the ground as if to mask the tiny thrill she couldn't quite suppress.
The curtain continued to swing open and shut as the three women cycled through outfits like they were putting on a fashion show.
Miss Valentine sashayed out in a backless mermaid dress, the fabric clinging to every curve as she preened in the mirror. "My, my~ Doesn't this just highlight all my best features? Come on, Boss, take a look~"
Porche emerged in a long trench coat with epaulets, the buttons fastened only to the third to reveal a peek of lace underneath. "Boss~ Doesn't this make me look like I could order anyone around~? Like everyone would just have to obey me in this~"
Perona floated out wrapped in a cloak embroidered with bats, lifting her chin with a proud sniff. "Now this suits the Ghost Princess. No one else could pull this off like I can~"
Bahr lounged on the sofa, watching their antics with growing amusement.
Clothes make the man—or in this case, the women. Now that he thought about it, they did look good dressed up. All his earlier complaints about the hassle had flown out the window.
After all, they were doing this for him. Going to such lengths to pick outfits that pleased him was only natural—who was he to criticize?
The only question was how durable all these frills and fabrics would be.
His gaze lingered on the thigh-high slit of Miss Valentine's mermaid dress—a design that would certainly save him some trouble later.
Then it slid to Porche's trench coat, imagining her shedding all that arrogance and submitting to him while still wearing it, his lips curling into a smirk.
Finally, it settled on the strip of white stocking visible beneath Perona's skirt. Those stockings looked thin—they'd probably tear easily tonight...
"Boss."
A crisp female voice suddenly called from the entrance, its tone oddly familiar.
"Nami-chan!!!"
Bahr, lost in thought, blinked at the sound before turning to see an orange-haired girl standing in the doorway, a bulging wallet in hand. It was none other than Nami.
The Straw Hat crew had arrived on the island!
Nami's eyes widened as she spotted Bahr, her grip on the wallet faltering. "Bahr?! What are you doing here?!"
Even with the mask obscuring his face, his build and voice were unmistakable—it was that bastard.
Both voices rang with surprise, and the air grew heavy with tension.
The three women in the boutique froze mid-outfit change, all eyes snapping to Nami at the entrance. The fitting room curtain hung half-open, leaving the scene suspended in awkward silence.