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Chapter 3 - Chapter 3: I Disliked Him from the Start

This was Xie Xue's older brother, Xie Qingcheng.

Xie Qingcheng had once treated He Yu's illness as his family's

personal physician.

He Yu looked like a normal person on the outside. The impression he

gave others was always gentle and kindhearted, and he excelled in conduct,

learning, and career. However, the He family had a closely kept secret: this

enviable golden child had suffered from a rare mental disorder since birth.

It was an orphan disease, with only four recorded cases having ‐

occurred throughout history. The circumstances of each patient were

similar: They had congenital deficiencies in the endocrine and nervous

systems. When disrupted, their personality would drastically change.

Usually, they were numb to pain, but when their condition flared up, they

would lose touch with reality, become bloodthirsty, and gain intense

destructive tendencies toward themselves or others, resulting in a standard

antisocial personality. Physical symptoms included a high fever and

confusion, with each flare-up being more severe than the last.

In clinical practice, this disorder was nicknamed "psychological

Ebola." It gradually caused the patient's mind to collapse, consequently

paralyzing and numbing their body. In the end, they would suffer the deaths

of first their mind, then their body. Like a metastasizing cancer, the

symptoms would worsen step by step, breaking down a fully functioning

member of society into one who'd have difficulties with the most basic of

social tasks until eventually becoming a complete lunatic.

In this manner, Patients 1–3 had all been tormented to death before

succumbing to that final stage.

He Yu was Patient 4.

His parents brought him to many famous doctors, both local and

international, but it was no use. The doctors all believed that the only way

to delay the progress of the disorder was to hire a medical caretaker to stay by He Yu's side and carry out long-term supervisory care in order to lower

the frequency of flare-ups.

Ultimately, with various considerations in mind, the He family found

Xie Qingcheng, who was only twenty-one at the time.

That year, He Yu was eight years old.

But now, He Yu was already nineteen, and Xie Qingcheng was thirtytwo.

Xie Qingcheng looked even more unflappable than before; one could

even call him indifferent and cold. He was not easily affected by anything,

so He Yu's sudden return had not shaken him. He only spent a few seconds

looking over the young man he hadn't seen in more than three years from

head to toe, ignoring He Yu's polite greetings.

With his age and social standing, he had neither the interest nor the

need to play along with a boy who wasn't even twenty years old. He only

asked, "Why are you here?"

"I…"

"It's already so late. This is the female faculty dorm."

He Yu smiled. Though he wanted to curse, "Why the fuck are you

here then?!" he nevertheless responded politely, "I hadn't seen Xie-laoshi in

a very long time. We were talking for so long I forgot the time. Sincerest

apologies, Doctor Xie."

"You don't need to call me Doctor Xie anymore. I'm no longer a

doctor."

"My bad. Old habits," He Yu responded lightly.

"…Aiya." Seeing the atmosphere between them grow tense from the

sidelines, Xie Xue rushed to mediate. "Um, Dage, don't look so stern and

serious… He Yu, sit down, don't be nervous. We haven't seen each other in

so long."

As she spoke, she distanced herself from He Yu, acting quite

courteously. She was always like this: When she was alone with He Yu, she

was very casual and behaved as though they were quite close. However, as

soon as anyone else was present, especially when it was Xie Qingcheng,

she would maintain a polite boundary between herself and He Yu.

He Yu figured that Xie Qingcheng had used fear from a very young

age to inspire this behavior. This older brother who acted so much like a

family head from a feudal society was the epitome of straight man cancer

and egregious chauvinism.

Such a man would be ever-vigilant about threats to the safety of their

female dependents. When Xie Xue was young, Xie Qingcheng didn't even

let her wear dresses with hems above the knee. One time, her school

organized a talent show for families and classmates, in which Xie Xue had

breakdanced. As Xie Qingcheng watched from beneath the stage, his

expression had gone black. When the young Xie Xue stepped off the stage,

he interrogated her about why she would participate in such an improper

dance performance with a grim look on his face, then forcefully draped his

suit jacket over her shoulders.

Though it was only eight or nine at night, Xie Qingcheng probably

thought it was extremely improper for a single man and an unmarried

woman—like He Yu and his sister—to be alone together at such a late hour.

Just as expected, as soon as Xie Qingcheng walked into the room, he

pulled up a chair and sat down. The head of the household crossed his long

legs, loosened his cuff links, and looked impassively at He Yu.

"Tell me, how exactly did you just happen to get accepted to Xie

Xue's university, and into her exact field of study at that?"

His forceful attitude from his occupation had seeped into his personal

life. At that moment, He Yu felt like he was a patient at the hospital stuck

with a moody doctor who asked, "Tell me where it hurts," in a flat,

indifferent tone.

When He Yu thought of it like this, he found it sort of funny.

Xie Qingcheng saw that He Yu didn't respond for a while, and the

corners of his mouth seemed to carry a slight smile. Xie Qingcheng's gaze

iced over. "You can't explain?"

He Yu was wrong. He wasn't a doctor examining a patient—

Xie Qingcheng's tone sounded exactly like a policeman interrogating a

criminal.

He Yu sighed and replied, "It's not like that."

"Then enlighten me."

"I couldn't get used to being abroad, and I like screenwriting and

directing. You're asking me why it's such a coincidence, but how can I

explain it?" He Yu smiled as he spoke, patience dripping from every word.

"It's not like I'm a fortune teller."

"You like screenwriting and directing?"

"Yes."

Xie Qingcheng didn't press further, because his eyes were drawn to

the "fried lumps of rice with egg and ham" that He Yu was holding.

Xie Qingcheng furrowed his brow. "…What is that?"

He Yu wanted to throw the plate at Xie Qingcheng's face—a face that

looked as if others owed him a fortune—then follow up with "What's it to

you?"

But because Xie Xue was present, he smiled at her brother politely

and replied, "Yangzhou fried rice."

Xie Qingcheng looked at it closely for a few more seconds. With a

cold expression on his fatherly face, he said, "Take off the apron. I'll make

another one."

He Yu stared at him, dumbfounded.

"How did you survive abroad for all these years?"

"…By ordering delivery."

Xie Qingcheng's gaze sharpened, a hint of condemnation flashing in

his eyes.

Under his penetrating glare, He Yu was transported back to the first

time they met. On the villa's freshly mowed lawn, Xie Qingcheng had

looked down at the eight-year-old He Yu with a gaze so sharp it could

practically dissect his heart.

That day was He Yu's birthday. A crowd of children were playing at

the He family's enormous villa. They had tired themselves out and were

chatting on the white pebbles of the lakeshore about their ambitions.

"When I grow up, I wanna be a celebrity!"

"I'm gonna be a scientist."

"I'm gonna be an astronaut!"

There was a chubby kid who didn't know what he wanted to be, but

he didn't want to show it either. As he looked around, he happened to catch

sight of the housekeeper ushering a young doctor through the front yard.

The grass was lush and vibrant, and the sky was a clear and pristine

blue. The young doctor was carrying a bouquet of flowers for his boss. The

splendidly blooming summer hydrangeas were wrapped in pale silver tissue

paper, arranged with silvery willow catkins and bright double roses. As a

unique touch, the bouquet was covered in a layer of decorative tulle.

Xie Qingcheng held the flowers in one hand and casually stuck his

other hand in his pocket. He was wearing a clean, close-fitting white lab

coat with two ballpoint pens clipped to his breast pocket. Since he wasn't

working at the moment, the front of the coat was unbuttoned, revealing a

lead-gray shirt beneath, as well as a pair of long, shapely legs clad in

loosely tailored pants.

The chubby kid gaped at him. After a while, he pointed at Xie

Qingcheng with his short, stubby, sausage-like fingers and declared, "I'm

gonna be… I'm gonna be a doctor!"

There was a sudden gust of wind, and since the florist really hadn't

paid enough fucking attention when they wrapped the flowers, the wind

managed to blow away the tulle covering Xie Qingcheng's bouquet. The

white fabric immediately floated into the sky over the lawn, only to fall

when the wind died back down again.

All the children craned their necks to look at that piece of white tulle.

It finally fell precisely in front of He Yu, the only one who wasn't interested

at all.

Although He Yu didn't like the doctors, pharmaceutical

representatives, and researchers who often appeared in his home, he was

habitually courteous. Therefore, he lowered his head, picked up that square

of soft tulle, and brought it over.

"Doctor, you dropped this."

He looked up at those indifferent eyes.

It was the height of summer, but inexplicably, they still made He Yu,

who was learning Tang dynasty poetry at the time, think of a particular

phrase: "Snowfall whispers onto the neighboring bamboo grove."

Xie Qingcheng looked down and took the tulle. The movement made

his lab coat flutter lightly in the breeze, like the cast-off feathers of a crane

that had transformed into a demonic spirit. "Thank you."

At that moment, He Yu suddenly caught a whiff of a faint medicinal

smell coming from his cuffs.

Research had shown that the feelings between people were largely

dictated by the scents on each other's bodies. That was to say, if someone

gave off a scent that you liked, then it would be easier for you to fall in love

at first sight. On the other hand, if their smell made you annoyed or afraid,

then you probably wouldn't have a very promising future together.

He Yu didn't like Xie Qingcheng's scent.

It was ice-cold and unyielding—like the countless bitter pills he'd

swallowed ever since he was a child, like the alcohol and iodine solution

they would wipe on his arm before injections; like pale, white, ice-cold

hospital rooms, devoid of human company and suffused with the odor of

disinfectant.

He was almost instinctively terrified of this kind of smell.

Subconsciously, he frowned.

But the housekeeper grabbed his shoulder and smiled as he

introduced him to that doctor big brother who made him feel unwell all

over. "Doctor Xie, this is our boss's young master."

Just when he was about to look away, Xie Qingcheng paused and

fixed his dark eyes on He Yu. "…So, it's you."

The look in his eyes irrationally reminded He Yu of a surgical knife. It

was abnormally incisive, giving He Yu the strange feeling that he was going

to cut open his heart and put it under a microscope.

"Nice to meet you," the young doctor said. "I'll probably be the one

treating your illness in the future."

He Yu was afraid of doctors. He deeply disliked even gentle female

doctors, to say nothing of this terrifying apparition emanating stern iciness

from head to toe. The eight-year-old boy immediately felt unwell. He forced

a smile, then turned around and left.

His mother, Lü Zhishu, happened to see this scene from the balcony.

When she finished work that night, she called her son into the study. There

was a cup of hot cocoa at just the right temperature on the tea table covered

in emerald-green velvet. She pushed the cocoa over to He Yu.

"That Doctor Xie, you met him today?"

"I did." He Yu's family upbringing was strict. He was always very

prim and proper to his mother, and a distance was maintained between

them.

Lü Zhishu was considerably disappointed in this abnormal son. At

that point in time, she had already birthed a second child. Although the

younger boy wasn't as clever as the elder, he was at the very least cute,

sweet, and healthy, so she focused all her attention on him. When she talked

to He Yu, she had nearly no patience. "His name is Xie Qingcheng. He'll be

your personal physician from now on, and he'll come to our house every

week to examine you. You must cooperate with him, and if you ever feel

unwell, you can call him over at any time."

"Mm."

The composure of the eight-year-old boy in front of her always made

Lü Zhishu feel a little scared, a feeling she tried to dispel with a sigh and a

bit of teasing. "He Yu, we've signed a slave contract with Doctor Xie. If he

can't cure your condition, he'll end up as a long-term laborer for us. He'll

never get paid or be able to take any days off. He won't even be able to find

a wife and get married. Do you know what this means?"

"Not really."

"It means, if you don't cooperate, you'll lower the efficacy of his

treatment, keep him from regaining his freedom, and leave him unable to

eventually find a wife. Then, you'll have to take responsibility for him and

support him for life."

Even though he was mature for his age, He Yu was still only eight—

young and gullible—and was thus horrified. He looked up at once. "Can I

cancel his contract?"

"No." On her flights the past few days, Lü Zhishu had obsessively

watched Republican-era dramas about torturous love and family infighting.

With a fleeting thought, she added something even more cutting. "Also, he might want you to take responsibility by becoming his wife. Look at how

pretty you are—you'd make a decent foster bride."

Back then, He Yu had no interest whatsoever in love, nor did he have

any desire to learn more, so he didn't even know marriage was restricted to

heterosexual couples in this region. At Lü Zhishu's words, his

psychological trauma deepened; there was even a period when Xie

Qingcheng's silhouette would appear in his nightmares.

"No, I don't like you… I don't want to marry you…!"

These nightmares weren't dispelled until six months later, when He

Jiwei heard the story and roundly cursed out his own wife. "What the hell

did you tell our son?"

Then he cursed out He Yu. "How'd you fall for this kind of joke?

Where has your usual intelligence gone? You're a man, Xie Qingcheng is

also a man—what do you mean you need to marry him and be responsible

for him? Do you have rocks for brains?"

He Yu felt very dispirited.

Over the course of the past half a year, at the thought of how he'd end

up as that ice-cold doctor's foster bride if he didn't cooperate and let Doctor

Xie cure him of his psychological condition, all he could do was constantly

pretend to be stupid and foolish in front of the doctor. He hoped to leave a

very negative impression on this man, so that even if matters got to that

point in the future, Doctor Xie would definitely never develop any

untoward interest in himself.

However, he didn't expect that after playing the fool in front of Xie

Qingcheng for six months straight, his dad would tell him, "Your mom was

teasing you."

If not for He Yu's strong self-restraint, he might have already blurted

out a "Fuck you!" Unfortunately, he was monitored too closely. Forget

about curse words—at age eight, even the word "bastard" had yet to enter

his childhood vocabulary.

But, in any case, through those six months of diligent effort,

persevering hard to embarrass himself before Xie Qingcheng, He Yu had

more or less managed an extraordinary feat: no matter how hard he strove,

in the following six or seven years…

No, it was longer than that. Even after he parted ways with

Xie Qingcheng at age fourteen, even today, to Xie Qingcheng, He Yu was

still a massive, three-dimensional, living and breathing dumbfuck with a

capital D.

And in this moment, the hideous bowl of fried rice in his hands was

the strongest evidence of the fact that, in Xie Qingcheng's eyes, after four

whole years, he was still the ultimate dumbfuck who couldn't even make

fried rice properly.

He put down the offending dish and handed the apron to the head of

the Xie family, the elder brother who was dressed immaculately in a pressed

suit and leather shoes. He Yu appeared calm and collected, but he was a

little dejected. That was a miscalculation, he thought to himself. He

shouldn't have personally done the cooking to begin with. Wasn't this just

giving Xie Qingcheng free entertainment?

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